Attitude Adjustment: Our Leaving Matters in God’s Hands. Genesis 16

Genesis 16Amplified Bible

Sarai and Hagar

16 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not borne him any children, and she had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. ²So Sarai said to Abram, “See here, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. I am asking you to go in to [the bed of] my maid [so that she may bear you a child]; perhaps I will ^[a]obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to Sarai and did as she said. ³After Abram had lived in the land of Canaan ten years, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian [maid], and gave her to her husband Abram to be his [secondary] wife. ⁴He went in to [the bed of] Hagar, and she conceived; and when she realized that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress [regarding Sarai as insignificant because of her infertility]. ⁵Then Sarai said to Abram, “May [the responsibility for] the wrong done to me [by the arrogant behavior of Hagar] be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, and when she realized that she had conceived, I was despised and looked on with disrespect. May the Lord judge [who has done right] between you and me.” ⁶But Abram said to Sarai, “Look, your maid is entirely in your hands and subject to your authority; do as you please with her.” So Sarai treated her harshly and humiliated her, and Hagar fled from her.

⁷But ^[b]the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, on the road to [Egypt by way of] Shur. ⁸And He said, “Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where did you come from and where are you going?” And she said, “I am running away from my mistress Sarai.” ⁹The Angel of the Lord said to her, “Go back to your mistress, and submit ^[c]humbly to her authority.” ¹⁰Then the Angel of the Lord said to her, “I will greatly multiply your descendants so that they will be too many to count.” ¹¹The Angel of the Lord continued,

“Behold, you are with child,
And you will bear a son;
And you shall name him Ishmael (God hears),
Because the Lord has heard and paid attention to your persecution (suffering).
¹²
“He (Ishmael) will be a wild donkey of a man;
His hand will be against every man [continually fighting]
And every man’s hand against him;
And he will dwell in defiance of all his brothers.”

¹³Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are ^[d]God Who Sees”; for she said, “Have I not even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after ^[e]seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion]?” ¹⁴Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi (Well of the Living One Who Sees Me); it is ^[f]between Kadesh and Bered.

¹⁵So Hagar gave birth to Abram’s son; and Abram named his son, to whom Hagar gave birth, ^[g]Ishmael (God hears). ¹⁶Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar gave birth to Ishmael.

The Word of God for the Children of God

Adeste Fidelis! Venite Adoremus! Dominum.

Gloria! In Excelsis Deo! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Amen.

Today’s story centers on the painful triangle of relationships between Abram, Sarai, and Sarai’s slave Hagar.

The ancient story contains moral weakness, self pity, jealousy, competition, contempt, scorn, rejection, revenge, meanness, and other emotional violence.

When the situation becomes unbearable, Sarai sends Hagar to Abram that Abram should have sexual relations with her and then bear the family a child.

A child is conceived and this is where things really break down.

Hagar looks down with jealousy and contempt upon Sarai in her infertility.

What had started with Sarai good intentions, her self sacrifice to give Abram a lasting hope for the continued future of his lineage, just turned seriously sour.

Sarai blamed Abram ….

Sarai wanted maximum accountability from Abram for Hagar’s behaviors.

⁵Then Sarai said to Abram, “May [the responsibility for] the wrong done to me [by the arrogant behavior of Hagar] be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, and when she realized that she had conceived, I was despised and looked on with disrespect. May the Lord judge [who has done right] between you and me.”

Abram washes his hands of the matter ….

⁶But Abram said to Sarai, “Look, your maid is entirely in your hands and subject to your authority; do as you please with her.” So Sarai treated her harshly and she humiliated her, and Hagar fled from her.

But now she is in a desperate situation: pregnant and alone in the desert with barely enough provisions for survival.

It all began with a promise from God to secure Abram’s family future.

Time had lapsed and a hopeful, hope-filled promise turned into a situation of impatience and desperation, a lapse of personal faith in God to change lives.

We are greatly shocked by the sequence of events – great promise to an even greater descent into great jealously, rage, humiliation – threatening the family.

Putting the prospect of great hope in a blessed and abundant future in jeopardy.

But the one thing we notice which seems to be missing from this tragic story is anyone’s attempt to seek out God, to pray for change, courage, patience, mercy.

The one thing we do not see is any sincere desire for an “attitude adjustment.”

To caught up in their very raw emotions …. there is no offer of prayer to God.

This instantaneous moment when all Abram, Hagar and Sarai can see is each other trying to sort out an extraordinarily volatile situation by their own wills.

Was grace an unknown commodity?

Was the thought of compassion or mercy an unknown commodity lost to anger?

On the human side … very much so.

Too fast to respond with raw unfiltered emotions is all too soon our first hope, first response for lasting meaningful successful resolution to a hopeless cause.

But, what if we were to counsel these parties and try to insert a moment or two of “attitude adjustment” – set these people apart – insert another perspective?

Remind them in the midst of this, there’s grace and mercy in this raw story too.

Remind them and ourselves of the promise: the presence, sovereignty of God?

The name for God in this text draws from the Hebrew word ‘roi’, which has to do with “looking,” “appearance,” “seeing,” and “sight.”

Abram and Sarai seem to have lost their sight, vision, of God’s faithfulness.

Yet, alone and utterly forsaken in the desert—in her darkest moment—Hagar realizes that El Roi, “the God who sees,” sees her, has never lost sight of her.

Some choose to see God, envision God, prayed, inserted into their situations.

Look for hope in seemingly hopeless situations ….

Believe all things “impossible in our eyes” are always possible in God’s eyes.

Others?

Like Abram and Sarai (and perhaps us?) in that moment …. not so much ….

Don’t we all find ourselves at times in desperate situations?

Even if our circumstances are not desperate, they can certainly be difficult at times, and we can absolutely feel as if we will never have a hope for any future.

Life was harsh and difficult in those ancient of days and even today is difficult, and living in today as a Christian does not mean we are spared those difficulties.

As we will continue to confront and face illness, unemployment, heartache, broken relationships, separations and divorces and other moral challenges, we are always and forever will be confronted by this single fundamental question:

Is their an “Attitude Adjustment” anywhere in our futures?

Is there time for a “God sized” “Attitude Adjustment” anywhere in our plans?

Is God’s perspective going to be even minimally, voluntarily sought out?

Remember the faithful Promises of God for an abundant future of hope?

Not our own hope or lack of hope we exclusively reserved for ourselves?

Lose sight of God’s wisdom to know how we should respond to adversity?

Walk the narrow paths of God’s promises?

Walk the broad pathways which lead to our destruction? (Matthew 7:13-14)

Walk the path of faith or will we try to take matters into our own hands?

Abraham was a man who was just like us—he experienced both triumph and failure in his walk of faith.

God had personally promised Abram to make his family a nation and to bless the world through someone from that nation (Genesis 12:1-3).

Though childless, elderly Abraham and his wife, Sarah, would have their “very own son” who would be their heir (Genesis 15:4).

Abraham “believed the LORD, and he counted it to him as righteousness” an even Sarah herself received the ability to conceive Isaac. (Hebrews 11:8-11)

But after years and years of waiting, Abram and Sarai’s faith had wavered.

They were expecting God to act in good faith, but now had grown impatient.

Presumably, on a monthly basis, their hopes would rise and collapse—and with every passing month and year, Sarah grew older, sadder, and more impatient.

So it was that they reached an explosive crisis of faith.

They knew that God is real, that God is all-powerful, and that God had promised them a son, but they also knew they both got older and didn’t yet have a son.

Would they allow the questions of their hearts to overturn their faith or would they allow their vision of faith in God to overturn the questions of their hearts?

The verses above narrate the sorry conclusion: they took matters into their own hands, and the “best” solution that they adopted was a destructive self-effort.

In doubting and despair, Sarai ordered Abram to sleep with her maid servant, Hagar, in hopes of bringing about the promised child, and Abraham complied.

Perhaps this was acceptable practice in that time and culture, based on the idea that the children of such a union would belong to the owner of the slave-girl.

Abram undoubtedly informed Sarai of God’s promise to him, and Sarai perhaps thought that this was necessary in order to bring about God’s plan for them.

Ancient and Contemporary 20/20 hindsight being what it is, always will be;

It was the wrong decision.

Doubting that God would keep His promise, they instead sought to bring it about by their own (immoral) actions.

They made their decision based on expediency.

They didn’t ask, What is right?

They asked, What can we do for ourselves that will “work things out” for us?

They allowed pragmatism to be their guide over and against faith—and in doing so, they brought about more suffering, more pain, and more heartache for themselves and for Hagar.

They thought intervening by their own devices and their understanding of human nature would simplify things; instead, it complicated everything.

Making Attitude Adjustment, Leaving Matters in God’s Hands

Whenever we set faith aside and apply self-effort, we complicate our lives.

Whenever we seek to take things into our own hands and make our own plans instead of trusting God to keep His promises, we end up with chaos, heartache.

Faith and waiting go hand in hand.

Do not lose heart as you sit in life’s waiting rooms.

It is always right to wait upon God, and it is always right to wait for God.

God sees and knows everything and everyone.

We do not know everything and everyone.

But we can know God more than we do now – if we want to know Him more.

If we want to surrender the sum total of who we believe we are in our eyes.

What areas of life do we need to “make adjustments” to live this out today?

But even in times of hopelessness,

can we adjust our way of thinking an believing we are each Blessedly Assured:

El Roi, “the God who sees,” is 100% watching over us, 100% seeing us, 100% protecting, 100% providing for us all in our darkest hour of need (Psalm 23)?

It is too deep in our human nature, our bleakest moments we too feel all alone.

What is my natural response?

What is your natural response?

What is our natural response?

With a bit of tweaking (attitude adjustment) by the Lord our Savior,

By God’s matchless grace, faithful mercy. one and done forgiveness and love,

What might our “God-Adjusted” responses become?

Job 19:23-27Amplified Bible

Job Says, “My Redeemer Lives”

²³
“Oh, that the words I now speak were written!
Oh, that they were recorded in a scroll!
²⁴
“That with an iron stylus and [molten] lead
They were engraved in the rock forever!
²⁵
“For I know that my Redeemer and Vindicator lives,
And at the last He will take His stand upon the earth.
²⁶
“Even after my [mortal] skin is destroyed [by death],
Yet from my [immortal] flesh I will see God,
²⁷
Whom I, even I, will see for myself,
And my eyes will see Him and not another!
My heart faints within me.

El Roi, “the God who sees,” has never lost sight of us, promises to care for us.

Surely, the Goodness and Mercy of God do follow us all the days of our lives!

What greater, more blessed assurance can we “adjust” ourselves to believing?

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Psalm 16 The Message

16 ^1-2Keep me safe, O God,
I’ve run for dear life to you.
I say to God, “Be my Lord!”
Without you, nothing makes sense.

³And these God-chosen lives all around—
what splendid friends they make!

⁴Don’t just go shopping for a god.
Gods are not for sale.
I swear I’ll never treat god-names
like brand-names.

^5-6My choice is you, God, first and only.
And now I find I’m your choice!
You set me up with a house and yard.
And then you made me your heir!

^7-8The wise counsel God gives when I’m awake
is confirmed by my sleeping heart.
Day and night I’ll stick with God;
I’ve got a good thing going and I’m not letting go.

^9-10I’m happy from the inside out,
and from the outside in, I’m firmly formed.
You canceled my ticket to hell—
that’s not my destination!

¹¹Now you’ve got my feet on the life path,
all radiant from the shining of your face.
Ever since you took my hand,
I’m on the right way.

Adeste Fidelis! Venite Adoremus! Dominum.

Gloria! In Excelsis Deo! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Amen.

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A Final Personification of Wisdom… Rethinking the Proverbs 31 Standard

When one faithfully looks to God’s word to find guidance about how to know who your soulmate will be for the rest of your life, who will be the best wife and mother and true and faithful, faith-filled and genuine servant of God they can be, we simply cannot escape the words of Proverbs 31. Who wouldn’t want to be married to as talented, productive, strong, caring, and fearless as this woman?

But as normal human beings, many of us are more likely to cringe when this seemingly perfect woman is set before us as the example. Who can find her, indeed! Not everyone has good business sense or opportunities. Many do not have the gifts and creativity to provide for the home, make the clothes for the family and household. I don’t know if I’ve met anyone who is both a morning person and a night person like this woman. I know my wife is the closest for me.

But who is it who is even closer to us than even our own God-gifted soul mates?

Proverbs 31:10-31The Message

Hymn to a Good Wife

^10-31A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Adorn her life with praises!

The Word of God for the Children of God. Gloria! In Excelsis Deo! Alleluia! Amen.

Lady Wisdom is compared to the virtuous woman in this closing poem of the book of Proverbs: the very personification of our Savior Jesus Christ, and of all that we all should be in Him.

The book of Proverbs closes with an acrostic poem which commends the virtues of a certain (literally) “strong woman” (Proverbs 31:10).

If we have been reading through the book up to this point, we will find that we have met her already. This woman of worth, whose “price is above rubies” – is Lady Wisdom itself (cf. Proverbs 3:13-15).

We find Lady Wisdom is like Jesus. Wisdom, like Savior Jesus, is to be sought after; to be most highly valued and desired and treasured: to be found. Wisdom, like Jesus, is to be trusted; and will do us good (Proverbs 31:10-12).

This efficient homemaker and provider for her household (Proverbs 31:13-15) is one and the same as the Wisdom who furnishes a table before us and calls us to ‘Come and eat’ (Proverbs 9:1-6). In fact – viewed in this light – we can see in her the LORD our shepherd, who prepares a table before us (Psalm 23:5).

We can hear Jesus’ summoning, who cries ‘Come unto me’ to the broken in spirit, the weary soul and heavy laden (Matthew 11:28-30; cf. Isaiah 55:1-3).

This lady’s perfect industriousness stands as an upstanding, beyond reproach, ever living example to all of us, both women and men (Proverbs 31:16-19).

Yet behind the imagery we see that the LORD God is the landowner, and that we are His vineyard (cf. Matthew 21:33).

We also perceive that Jesus is the true vine (John 15:1).

The Lord strengthens His arm for our salvation (cf. Proverbs 31:17).

Wisdom stretches out her caring and compassionate and merciful and forgiving hand unto the poor, as should we when we are called, and able (Proverbs 31:20).

In like manner, the needy find their solace in Jesus: He is the LORD our provider (cf. Proverbs 31:21).

There is great honor in being attached to Wisdom (Proverbs 31:23).

We are not the least bit foolish to follow Christ. When we walk with Him, talk with Him we’ll be prayerfully respected, even by those who don’t agree with us.

We read of this woman’s coverings (Proverbs 31:22), and merchandise (Proverbs 31:24): but her greatest adornment is her strength and honor (Proverbs 31:25).

We, like her, will have assurances as to the future when we are ‘clothed’ with Christ.

We have put on Christ (Galatians 3:27); we must put on Christ (Romans 13:14).

In the poem, this woman opens her mouth with wisdom, and speaks truest kindness (Proverbs 31:26).

In this, as in so much else that we can discover, she is the very personification of Wisdom (cf. Proverbs 4:5-6).

If the law was our tutor, pointing us to Christ (Galatians 3:24); then Wisdom serves us in the same way: steering us away from worldly folly, and pointing us towards Jesus who is the Word of God, the ultimate manifestation of Wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:24).

Just as Lady Wisdom looks to the way of her household (Proverbs 31:27), so the LORD also is industrious (John 5:17).

The Father continually watches over His people (Psalm 121:5); and the Son feeds His flock and tends the lambs with the tenderness of a good shepherd (Isaiah 40:11). The Holy Spirit preserves us in a living hope, even in adverse circumstances beyond human description and understanding (Galatians 5:5).

The person who is married to Wisdom safely trusts in her (Proverbs 31:11) and is honored to be associated with her (Proverbs 31:23).

In a similar way the people of Jesus (Hebrews 2:12-13) deem Him to be blessed and praise His holy name (cf. Proverbs 31:28).

Wisdom is the principal thing, so by all means get wisdom (Proverbs 4:7) – and wisdom will teach you that ‘there is no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved’ apart from the name of Jesus (Acts 4:12).

There is a kind of beauty which is only skin-deep.

We find this personified in the woman whom I call Mistress Folly (Proverbs 6:25). Yet Lady Wisdom’s attraction is of a spiritual order: she fears the LORD (Proverbs 31:30).

Our ministries, our works stand as the evidence of wisdom’s virtue (Proverbs 31:31).

The works the Father was doing in the Son stood as a verification of Jesus’ words (John 14:10-11). Works are evidence of faith in the believer (James 2:18-20), who is ‘called unto good works which the Father has before determined’ (Ephesians 2:10).

Proverbs 31:20-31 Authorized (King James) Version

²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor;
yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household:
for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry;
her clothing is silk and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it;
and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom;
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her.
²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously,
but thou excellest them all.
³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands;
and let her own works praise her in the gates.

The virtuous woman has more on her mind than just her family. Her ambitions, energy, and plans extend to the poor and needy that God has placed in her path. Rather than be content with having her husband, children, and home well cared for and happy, she has a conscience that drives her to take care of others who cannot provide for themselves.

Her thoughts toward the poor and needy are more than wishful thinking or kind words. Her thoughts result in diligent and personal action, which are the only thoughts that count in the sight of God and men (Proverbs 3:27-28; 20:11; James 2:15-16). She knows that true love is in-deed and truth, not merely in word and tongue (I John 3:16-18). Moved by God’s love for her, she has bowels of compassion to share her ability and substance with the needy.

The charitable giving here is not easy or passive action. “She stretcheth out her hand,” and, “She reacheth forth her hands.” These words do not convey casual donations or convenient acts of charity. A virtuous woman goes out of her way to meet the poor and needy and help them, even if it requires strenuous effort to accomplish the service. She is not merely available for charity; she volunteers and does the work without any prodding.

The virtuous woman has sympathy for the truly poor and needy (James 1:27).

She does not exchange mock charity with friends, subdivision neighbors, or peers at work. She knows that giving to the rich will bring God’s judgment (Proverbs 22:16). Neither does she care or worry about the foolish, lazy, or wasteful (Proverbs 13:23; 20:4; II Thessalonians 3:10). She, like the Good Samaritan, waits for the Lord to put an act of God in her path (Luke 10:25-37).

She knows charity begins with true needs in extended family – parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents (I Timothy 5:4,8,16). She then serves the poor and needy in her church (Acts 2:44-45; Romans 12:13), then those in other churches (Matthew 25:40; Galatians 6:10; Acts 11:27-30), and then those God puts in her path (Job 31:16-22; Luke 10:25-37). She is given to hospitality for brethren and for strangers (Romans 12:13; I Timothy 5:10; Hebrews 13:2).

A man with a virtuous wife should allow her a budget for this good use of money, and it will later praise her and him (Proverbs 31:23,31; II King 4:8-10). It will also bring God’s blessing on the couple for their charity (Proverbs 11:24-27; 19:17; 28:27). Stingy husbands can discourage their wives and deprive the poor, and they will suffer for it now and later.

A virtuous woman is loved by all and praised by husband and children (Proverbs 31:28-31; Acts 9:36-42), and this affection and honor is a great blessing and comfort. But her greatest glory is yet to come, when the High King of heaven will take special notice of her godly charity before the universe (Isaiah 32:8; Matthew 10:40-42; 25:31-40; I Timothy 6:17-19; Hebrews 6:10).

It stands to reason, then, that she would want to be generous with what she has and to go forth, to help those who are less fortunate. I might be walking way out on a limb here, but when I see that she “opens her arms” to the poor, I believe she is gifting them with money to get their necessities. Here’s where I’m out on a limb: the next portion of the verse says she “extends her hands to the needy.”

When someone we know is fallen down into a hole, or needs help climbing out of a low place, what do you do? You extend your hand for them to grab hold of and pull up — you are giving them “a hand up.” (Acts 3:1-10) I believe that may be what this Spirit-filled, God-fearing woman of Proverbs 31 is doing; she not only gifts them financially, but she helps them in sensible, practical ways.

Ways that help them stay out of that tight spot, that low place. Perhaps she is going far out of her way, teaching them a skill or giving them encouragement from her own experience. Perhaps she is giving them what they need to move forward and keep moving. Perhaps she knows of a job for them to apply for and to do. Maybe it is just the perfect example that she sets, for them to imitate.

This Spirit-filled woman is truly challenging us to be the best that we can be!

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us pray,

Father, faithful One, teach me your divine wisdom. Empower me to understand wise teaching. Give insight to my simple mind. Help me to live a life that is disciplined and successful, based on the wise teachings of your word. Give me the knowledge I need to make smart decisions. I know that reverence for you is the beginning of wisdom. Help me listen when you correct me, and not neglect your instruction. I know when I take heed of wisdoms voice and to follow your wisdom, I will receive grace and honor. Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Amen.