Exodus 20:12Amplified Bible
12 “Honor (respect, obey, care for) your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged in the land the Lord your God gives you.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
Adeste Fidelis. Venite Adoremus. Dominum.
Gloria. In Excelsis Deo. Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Amen.
Most Christians are very familiar with the verse “honor your father and mother”, but few actually know of it’s origin in the Bible.
The command to honor your father and mother actually comes from the Old Testament book of Exodus 20 in the story of the 10 Commandments.
However, it is also a command that is repeated several times in both the Old and New Testament.
Chapter 20 of the Book of Exodus serves as a powerful reminder of the intimate relationship God has with humankind.
This passage specifically reveals the intense care and concern that God shows toward His Children.
Today this chapter remains popular because of a very special occurrence – the Ten Commandments.
At eighty plus years old, after venturing up to Mount Sinai, Moses, a father, brought down the Ten Commandments, rules given Him directly from God.
The Ten Commandments described ten precepts for how God expected His people to behave.
This monumental moment follows after the Israelites fled Egypt.
Chapter 19 in the Book of Exodus details how the Israelites camped in the wilderness, now living a life outside of slavery for a few months.
God informs Moses that He desires to bless the nation of Israel.
However, He also wants them to keep a covenant with Him (Exodus 19:5-6).
The Ten Commandments serve as part of that covenant.
One of these commandments spoke to the relationship between a child and parent and is a guideline we as Christians still ought to be following today.
Exodus 20:12The Message
12 Honor your father and mother so that you’ll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you.
The reason this commandment in addition to the other nine is still relevant today is because Jesus indicated such to later believers (Matthew 5:17-20).
Jesus did not abolish the law, but rather came to fulfill it.
The Apostle Paul wrote to the followers at the church at Ephesus;
Ephesians 5:1-2 Amplified Bible
Be Imitators of God
5 Therefore become imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father]; 2 and walk continually in love [that is, value one another—practice empathy and compassion, unselfishly seeking the best for others], just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and sacrifice to God [slain for you, so that it became] a sweet fragrance.
We are to do our part yet today in abiding in Jesus, by these commandments.
Today, I do not believe there is little to no controversy about whether or not the Ten Commandments are still relevant.
What has been up for rather contentious debate in the meaning of “honor” in the context of parents and children.
There are many instances of children being the victims of incest, abandonment, neglect, or other severe and seriously exploitive forms of ultra damaging abuse.
In these situations, how does a child honor a parent, when the parent lacks any concept or context of abiding in God, His Son Jesus and have honor for the child.
To understand this commandment, we have to examine the original context.
What Is the Original Meaning of Honor Your Father and Mother in Exodus 20?
The commandment to honor our father and mother is the fifth of the ten mentioned.
The commandment to precedes this one is honoring the Sabbath, followed by the commandment to not murder.
Scripture explains the reason why the commandment should be followed.
Exodus 20:12Amplified Bible
12 “Honor (respect, obey, care for) your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged in the land the Lord your God gives you.
The benefit of abiding by this commandment is longer life, specifically for the Israelites venturing on toward the Promised Land.
Dennis Prager [https://dennisprager.com/] emphasizes that though this could be viewed as a reward, this is also a reason.
And many of the other commandments are not given explicit reasons to be followed.
Prager suggests in a society where parents are honored by children, the society is bound to survive longer, than a society with a weaker family structure.
This commandment in Exodus is mentioned a number of other times in the Bible, each time as an admonishment to God’s people to better establish them.
Deuteronomy 5:16 tells us, “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”
Ephesians 6:2 states: “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise”
God blesses the people when their parents are honored, but the people are punished when they do not.
To honor is to hold someone in high regard or reverence.
The word honor does not mean agree with or even obey, but does suggest in this context a child should hold the highest utmost respect for both of their parents.
Now that we better understand the original context and interpretation of the commandment to honor thy mother and father, we can try to discern how this precept applies to modern-day life.
How Can Christians ‘Honor Your Father and Mother’ Today?
With an understanding of the word honor, there need not be a change in how parents are respected by children today.
However, with modern cultural shifts, this commandment for some has taken on a different interpretation.
We can perhaps better, more prayerfully understand the proper ways of honoring parents by first understanding how honoring should not appear.
As Dennis Prager discusses in his video analysis of the commandment, some parents yearn to be loved, rather than honored.
The visual example given in his video is that of a parent showering their child with gifts in order to receive affection.
This same parent when trying to discipline their child instead receives severe retaliation from them.
This is definitively not an example of a child honoring their parent because instead of respecting them as an “authority” figure, they are simply seeking what else, exactly how much more they can manipulate, gain from the parent.
Much like the Bible commands us to love others, the call to honor our parents is an outward action – something we do for others.
Honoring our parents is therefore not contingent upon what they give in return.
Within the Ten Commandments, verse 12 of Exodus 20 gives no clarification as to what parents are to be honored or even how.
We can conclude then that all parents are deserving of honor, and we can use the context of love within the Bible to discern appropriate ways to show honor.
We can even in some instances see how people have honored God as Father as an example.
Ways we can appropriately honor our parents include:
Expressing Gratitude
Parents invest time and effort into raising children.
Those reasons alone are enough to show them gratitude for the sacrifices they make.
Parents provide shelter, food, clothing.
For every action they do in their support of their child is in itself a far more than sufficient reason for expressing their appreciation and gratitude.
Spending Time Together
When physically possible, children can and should get together with their parents.
This acknowledges their existence and places a level of importance upon the relationship.
If being together physically is not an option, calling a parent on the phone for a check-in is also beneficial.
Dennis Prager shares with fellow believers he called his parents once a week.
Serve
Another way for children to honor their parents is to find creative ways to serve their desires, wants and needs, much like parents perform on behalf of children.
To Honor or Not to Honor
It goes without saying and preaching to the choir that modern parenting is not equivalent to the parenting in ancient biblical Jewish culture.
Children today learn differently and have certain responsibilities such as owning a cell phone [I never did], which was not true for past generations.
No matter the time, parents should always be honored.
One concern followers, nonbelievers have with the commandment is the issue of bad parents, individuals who have abused their children by various means.
The Bible does not qualify which parents deserve honoring.
Additionally, Jesus mentions we are to love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:39) and to bless those who persecute us (Romans 12:14).
We, therefore, know that even when seemingly impossible, we should all do our best to express love for our parents, our children as we express love for our God.
This fifth commandment, however, does not advocate for putting ourselves in danger with bad parents.
Applying this commandment for children who have been abused will look different in terms of how they show their honoring.
Spending time together may be an impossibility but talking on the phone or writing a letter could prayerfully be an option depending on the circumstance.
Sometimes we have to set boundaries in relationships, and whenever that is the case we have to pray unto our ABBA God for wisdom, so that we may honor His commandment and honor our parents while keeping ourselves safe (James 1:5).
There are no easy or set human answers how to be complete, perfect parents.
As Mom’s and Dad’s together …
The very best we can do is diligently consult the Word of God for His Children.
Study it …
Like Jesus did, intentionally plumb its depths, its ways, its truths and its life.
Pray without ceasing over every aspect of it, revelation from it …
Koinonia, Fellowship with our ABBA Father, His Son Jesus, Holy Spirit, other Parents …
Finally,
Be Still, Be Quiet, know only God is God, and can, should be, exalted as God.
Matthew 6:25-33New King James Version
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his [b] stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Heavenly Father, thank You for my parents and for giving me life. Thank You for the pleasant and harsh lessons I have learned and the good times and the bad we have shared together. Forgive me for the times when I have not sufficiently honored my father and mother as I ought – for I am now acutely aware that this is dishonoring to You. From this day forward, I pray that I should honour You in all my interactions with my own family and with my friends, and may my life be honoring to You.
Adeste Fidelis. Venite Adoremus. Dominum.
Gloria. In Excelsis Deo. Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Amen.
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 