Job 2:11-13 Amplified Bible
11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite; for they had made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and to comfort him. 12 When they looked from a distance and did not recognize him [because of his disfigurement], they raised their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe [in grief] and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky [in sorrow]. 13 So they sat down on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
When you saw I was Sick, and You Cared for Me
Matthew 25:35-40 Amplified Bible
35 For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 I was naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me [with help and ministering care]; I was in prison, and you came to Me [ignoring personal danger].’ 37 Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 And when did we see You as a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 The King will answer and say to them, ‘I assure you and most solemnly say to you, to the extent that you did it for one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it for Me.’
There are so many excuses people make for paying little or no attention to those who are sick:
“I don’t like visiting people in the hospital, it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“I can’t take the smell in the nursing home. There is a lady there who keeps yelling, ‘Take me home!’ and I can’t handle it.”
“I don’t know or wont know what to say when I am with that person.”
“Actually, isn’t that the pastor’s job? And, besides, I am too busy.”
Sad to have to confess this, I have tried to make these excuses as well.
Jesus simply cuts through all of the excuses and he says, “I was sick and you looked after me,” or, “I was sick and . . . you did not care to look after me.”
While our health-care systems can help with just about most of a sick person’s physical needs, their critical need for spiritual and emotional needs remain.
Visiting a person who is sick will often make a greater impact than we know.
Other patients, Family, health care workers, and staff also definitely notice when the sick are and are not being visited.
Yes, visiting with people who are ill can sometimes be challenging ministry.
It pushes us outside of our comfort zones.
But, as with many things, it usually gets easier with practice.
And we will often find that we are blessed by making a visit!
And what greater blessing can there be than to hear the Lord say, “When you saw that I was sick and you came to me, ministered to me, looked after me”!
Engaging Visitation Ministry: Hard Lessons We Must Learn from Observing the Actions of Job’s Friends.
Job 2:11-13 The Message
Job’s Three Friends
11-13 Three of Job’s friends heard of all the trouble that had fallen on him. Each traveled from his own country—Eliphaz from Teman, Bildad from Shuhah, Zophar from Naamath—and went together to Job to keep him company and comfort him. When they first caught sight of him, they couldn’t believe what they saw—they hardly recognized him! They cried out in lament, ripped their robes, and dumped dirt on their heads as a sign of their grief. Then they sat with him on the ground. Seven days and nights they sat there without saying a word. They could see how rotten he felt, how deeply he was suffering.
Some of my very biggest regrets stem from not responding to friends’ and family members’ pain with the true compassion and support they needed.
Unfortunately, there’ve been one too many uncomfortable times when I’ve attempted to “easily fix” a situation rather than simply remaining present.
The problem is, when I focus on solutions, I tend to feed my pride and form inaccurate assumptions. Worse, such behavior usually causes the other person to feel judged, imposed upon, unheard, and likely, very minimized and alone.
Perhaps this is why I’m so intrigued by Job’s friends in the book of Job.
I find their sincere efforts, words and conclusions convicting, not because of their accuracy, but rather, because of the discomfort they reveal within me.
Maybe you can also relate? Many of us long to love like Jesus but, sadly, find ourselves clumsily acting like Job’s friend’s Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.
Here are four lessons we can learn from Job’s friends about Visitation Ministry.
1. Recognize and Remain Alert to Compassion Fatigue
Galatians 6:9-10 The Message
9-10 So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.
When someone we care about experiences hardship, we often reach out with heartfelt empathy.
Initially, we might even operate well from that sympathetic place.
Over time, however, our discomfort with discomfort can trigger within us a strong desire to escape our own unpleasant emotions.
This, in turn, can cause us to become dismissive, callus, or judgmental.
Evaluating Job’s friend’s behavior, I wonder if they suffered from compassion fatigue.
This occurs when someone else’s trauma leads us to become spiritually and emotionally exhausted.
I could understand why Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar might have felt this way.
They obviously cared a great deal for Job.
After all, they each planned for, traveled some distance to offer him solace.
Notice their reaction upon arriving.
Job 2:11-13 NIV says,
“When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”
They expressed intense, unfiltered emotion.
Then they sat with him, in silence, for a full week — 168 hours.
I’ve never remained present with someone for even half that time, or one tenth of that time let alone trying such a marathon visit without ever even speaking.
How long can anyone really maintain a marathon of silence when with friends?
But then, perhaps feeling a degree of safety with his friends, Job expressed the depth of his grief.
Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar listened for 26 verses, without interrupting or correcting.
By chapter four, however, it appears as if Eliphaz reached his empathetic limit.
He spent the next two chapters, 48 verses, sermonizing and chastising Job.
I can understand why he might have felt compelled to do this.
It hurts to sit with those who are in pain.
Our empathy makes us want to do something!
If, as was the case with Job, there’s nothing we can do to ease the person’s sorrow, we might try to argue it away.
However, when we enter the situation alert to our shortcomings, we’re more apt to kindly excuse ourselves from the room to regain our emotional capacity.
Then, we can return with a renewed ability to remain present.
Or, we might recognize that we’re unable to quietly sit with them in their pain.
If so, it’s often kinder to ourselves to excuse ourselves, offer condolences and pray with them, leave than to speak words that will cause further wounding.
2. Don’t just Assume God Wants You to Speak for Him
Job 4:12-21 The Message
12-16 “A word came to me in secret—
a mere whisper of a word, but I heard it clearly.
It came in a scary dream one night,
after I had fallen into a deep, deep sleep.
Dread stared me in the face, and Terror.
I was scared to death—I shook from head to foot.
A spirit glided right in front of me—
the hair on my head stood on end.
I couldn’t tell what it was that appeared there—
a blur . . . and then I heard a muffled voice:
17-21 “‘How can mere mortals be more righteous than God?
How can humans be purer than their Creator?
Why, God doesn’t even trust his own servants,
doesn’t even cheer his angels,
So how much less these bodies composed of mud,
fragile as moths?
These bodies of ours are here today and gone tomorrow,
and no one even notices—gone without a trace.
When the tent stakes are ripped up, the tent collapses—
we die and are never the wiser for having lived.’”
In Job 4, we see an additional reason for Eliphaz’s prideful statements.
He tells of a “secret word” he received in the middle of the night and a “spirit” that “glided past [his] face” (v. 15).
This supernatural being told him, in essence, that no mortal, all of whom God charges with error, can be more righteous than God (vs. 17-19).
While this is true, that doesn’t mean the Lord wanted Eliphaz to speak these words to Job.
Considering the self-righteousness and pride evident in Eliphaz’s lengthy monologue, it seems more likely God meant this revelation for him.
In my experience, the Lord much prefers to speak to His children directly.
That doesn’t mean He never calls us to share truth. But may this always come only from extensive prayer, self-evaluation, and a humble and cleansed heart.
I’m likewise reminded of Jesus words in Matthew 7:1-5, where He said,
A Simple Guide for Behavior
7 1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
Notice, He didn’t say ignore your brother’s sawdust.
But He did tell us to deal decisively with our “holier than thou” selves first.
This helps remove our self-deception and biases and correct our perspective.
3. Check Your Theology against the Holy Scriptures
2 Timothy 2:8-18 New American Standard Bible 1995
8 Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, descendant of David, according to my gospel, 9 [a]for which I suffer hardship even to imprisonment as a criminal; but the word of God is not imprisoned. 10 For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory. 11 It is a trustworthy statement:
For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him;
12 If we endure, we will also reign with Him;
If we [b]deny Him, He also will deny us;
13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.
An Unashamed Workman
14 Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless and leads to the ruin of the hearers. 15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth. 16 But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for [c]it will lead to further ungodliness, 17 and their [d]talk will spread like [e]gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, 18 men who have gone astray from the truth saying that the resurrection has already taken place, and they upset the faith of some.
Based on what we read in Job, his friends adhered to what scholars refer to as retribution theology.
In short, they believed God punished the sinful through suffering and always showered the righteous with blessings.
According to this, a person deserved their afflictions.
Sadly, many today hold the same view, often referred to as the prosperity gospel.
This biblical distortion claims that God longs for all of His children to enjoy a bountiful, pain-and-sickness-free life.
Therefore, one only needs to pray with faith to receive total healing from whatever ails them.
Often, this perspective stems from building a worldview around a few passages, such as Isaiah 53:5, while ignoring or downplaying other sections of Scripture, such as when Jesus said all His followers would forever experience suffering.
John 16:29-33 New American Standard Bible 1995
29 His disciples *said, “Lo, now You are speaking plainly and are not [a]using a figure of speech. 30 Now we know that You know all things, and have no need for anyone to question You; by this we believe that You came from God.” 31 Jesus answered them, “Do you now believe? 32 Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. 33 These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
I’m convinced this is one of the reasons God included the book of Job in Scripture.
He wanted us to see a “blameless and upright” man endure more trauma than most of us will ten times over.
I’m certain He intended for us to gain comfort in Job’s spiritual wrestling, and to recognize how this increased his intimacy with God.
And through his friends’ callous responses, He exposes and convicts our inner Pharisees — the parts of us too quick to pass judgment and slow to show mercy.
4. Unburden your heart, Trust Jesus to Be the Savior
John 14:1-6 New American Standard Bible 1995
Jesus Comforts His Disciples
14 “Do not let your heart be troubled; [a]believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And you know the way where I am going.” 5 Thomas *said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?” 6 Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
This was something I struggled with as an only son.
When my mom was dying from heart attacks, I longed to take and shield her from all the pain and to quickly eradicate whatever suffering she did experience.
God continually reminded me, however, of the unbridled joy He was building into her soul. While He never restored her, He did use this to transform her children into the godly, courageous, compassionate adults we each are today.
It was in my darkest seasons that I most needed to trust and believe that God held her close, led her to his side, and had far more beautiful plans for her.
While my role as her son indeed was to nurture and protect her, my greatest task was to point her to Jesus. I am not, was not, never could be her Savior.
That role belongs to Christ and Him alone, and He’s more than capable of tending to my daughter’s deepest needs — and of caring for all mankind.
Job’s friends seemed to experience something of a role reversal.
Instead of their encouraging Job to pray, continue to seek and wrestle with God, they rushed in with all their extremely primitive self help “logical” solutions.
If only Job would follow their advice, repent of whatever unconfessed sin they felt certain led to his heartache, God would restore him to health and wealth.
Imagine how different their conversation might have looked and sounded had they simply prayed first, asked Job, “What is God saying to you in this season?”
And, instead of blasting Job with all manner and measure and burden of illogic; “What do you most need from me now?”
What if they had first determined to listen to Job, pray with Job, intercede for Job and then did the Psalm 46:10: wait for the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit.
I recognize this isn’t easy.
It is not supposed to be easy.
It is just supposed to be most humble and more Christ like than man made.
Proverbs 3:5-12 New American Standard Bible 1995
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your [a]body
And refreshment to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord from your wealth
And from the first of all your produce;
10 So your barns will be filled with plenty
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
11 My son, do not reject the [b]discipline of the Lord
Or loathe His reproof,
12 For whom the Lord loves He reproves,
Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.
It’s hard to see those we love hurt.
In our shrinking congregations, in diminishing and disappearing churches, our “get-fixed-quick” culture, we can easily fall into the same traps as Job’s well intentioned friends, which will only risk leading us into a further wounding.
Or we can pray to God, process and deal with our discomfort and compassion fatigue and to resist trying to act like the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life.
May we also study scripture, consider where we might have holes or distortions in our theology and remember that our friends and family don’t need us to be their Savior because they’ve already got one in Jesus. And may we remember, when someone is hurting, they all need our presence more than our solutions.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Jesus, we are experts at making excuses. Please fill us with compassion instead of excuses, and help us to truly care for one another. We pray in your name. Amen.
Psalm 8 New American Standard Bible 1995
The Lord’s Glory and Man’s Dignity.
For the choir director; on the Gittith. A Psalm of David.
8 O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have [a]displayed Your splendor above the heavens!
2 From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established [b]strength
Because of Your adversaries,
To make the enemy and the revengeful cease.
3 When I [c]consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have [d]ordained;
4 What is man that You [e]take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
5 Yet You have made him a little lower than [f]God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
6 You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
7 All sheep and oxen,
And also the [g]beasts of the field,
8 The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.
9 O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth!
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 