Romans 15:4 "For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
26 Then God said, “Let us make man[a] in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Word of God for the Children of God.
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost; as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen, amen.
Today, there’s a lot of talk about identity — owning our identity, claiming our identity — and it makes allot of Christians wonder: Does the Bible address this?
What Does God Say about Our Identity?
It turns out God has a lot to say about our identity, and his loving, generous, and merciful guidance starts right in the very first chapter of his holy Word.
In Genesis 1:27, we’re told, “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
That’s right — we’re made in the very image of love and goodness and also perfection itself: God Almighty.
That doesn’t mean we ourselves, on our own, are perfect.
But because we are made in God’s image, we know that we are special to him, beloved, and intentionally created.
We have the potential to be like him, though it is only through the saving power and merciful gift of Jesus Christ we are able to be saved, fully reconciled to God.
That’s a beautiful and tremendously precious thing.
Many of us struggle with our identity.
Perhaps we self-identity based on our upbringing, or the sins of our past, or even the names bullies mocked and brutalized us on the school playground.
Maybe we’ve given ourselves inflated or false identities, identities that fade with the world.
But as Christians, we get a new and eternal identity.
And God has quite a lot to say about that.
The Bible contains a number of statements God makes about our identity.
Let’s dive in to see what these are.
We Are a New Creation in Christ
Those of us who are Christians get an unexpectedly wonderful gift when we choose to follow Jesus: We are new creations.
We get an entirely new start in life.
All of the mistakes of our past are wiped clean.
In 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul writes, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
It reminds me of what Jesus talked about with Nicodemus in John 3:3 about being “born again.”
When we are born again as believers, baptized with water and Spirit into God’s heavenly family, we are then able to enter God’s kingdom.
We become part of a new identity, that of “Christ-follower.”
As John explains in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Remembering this clarifies everything.
We Are God’s Children
Another extraordinary truth is that we are sons and daughters of God, part of God’s family.
John 1:12-13 tells us, “To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”
Ephesians 2:19 tells us that because Jesus destroyed the barrier between us and God, we who believe are “members of his household.”
Galatians 4:5-7 says that because of Jesus, we were adopted as God’s own — no longer a slave but God’s own child. (Ephesians 1:5 echoes this.)
As Romans 8:16 so passionately proclaims, “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”
Remembering that identity reminds us to behave as children who honor their heavenly Father.
We are ‘Heavenites’ — Citizens of Heaven
People from Brooklyn are called Brooklynites, while biblical people from Israel were called Israelites. We, however, are told in Scripture that we are citizens of heaven; therefore, we can claim identity as “Heavenites,” people of heaven.
Philippians 3:20 tells us clearly that “our citizenship is in heaven.”
Jesus himself said he was going ahead of us to his Father’s house — heaven — to prepare a place for us there in the many rooms that await (John 14:2-3).
Because we are citizens of heaven, we must take this seriously and do our best to live this way on earth.
Paul writes that we are “Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us” (2 Corinthians 5:20), and that’s true.
For many, we are the face of God.
We shine his light and spread his word so that all may know, fulfilling Jesus’s Great Commission that he gave his followers in Matthew 28:19-20to go and makes disciples of all nations, baptizing them and teaching them to obey.
We are not to love the world and its ways (1 John 2:15-17), but rather to love only God, and second to love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).
Remembering that identity reminds us to live our lives in a way that points to him, now and always.
We Are Part of God’s Body
The Bible is clear we are the body of Christ, with every person as a different part (1 Corinthians 12:27).
Some are teachers, healers, or prophets, just like there are eyes, ears, or feet.
Therefore, we must understand that our bodies are not our own.
Bought with a price, they are temples of the Holy Spirit who lives inside us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Ephesians 1:22-23 says much the same, noting that Christ is our head.
In John 15, Jesus talks about being the true vine, while we are the branches.
As he explains, just as with branches on a tree, they are fully connected:
“If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
Remembering that identity helps when we walk in the world.
We Are Forgiven and Free
As followers of Jesus, we have the assurance that our sins are forgiven.
This means we’re no longer destined to agony but liberated for heavenly glory.
We’re not chained to the past but free for God’s good purpose.
As 1 John 2:12 says, “Your sins have been forgiven through Jesus.”
At our core, our identity is found in our relationship with Jesus Christ.
To echo what our savior said in John 15:5, apart from him, we can do nothing.
Our identity is rooted in him, woven perfectly in a protective, loving bind that lasts for eternity.
We receive a God-given sense of purpose and belonging in this, liberating us for the good purposes God has for his glory.
And that is far better than anything this world can offer.
Our Identities in God, the Father, God the Son God the Holy Spirit
Thanks be to God!
In the name of God, the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit …
Praying ….
Psalm 8 New American Standard Bible
The Lord’s Glory and Mankind’s Dignity.
For the music director; on the Gittith. A Psalm of David.
8 Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth, You who have [a]displayed Your splendor above the heavens! 2 From the mouths of infants and nursing babies You have established [b]strength Because of Your enemies, To do away with the enemy and the revengeful.
3 When I [c]consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have set in place; 4 What is man that You think of him, And a son of man that You are concerned about him? 5 Yet You have made him a little lower than [d]God, And You crown him with glory and majesty! 6 You have him rule over the works of Your hands; You have put everything under his feet, 7 All sheep and oxen, And also the animals of the field, 8 The birds of the sky, and the fish of the sea, Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.
9 Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth!
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost; as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen, amen.
When a baby is born, the first thing usually said is, “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”
The sex of a child is based on biology-anatomy and chromosomes. But, for some individuals, their sense of gender does not always match their sex.
That mismatch was brought to our attention in 2015 when Olympic superstar Bruce Jenner announced that he no longer wanted to be Bruce. Several months later he was introduced on the front cover of Vanity Fair as Caitlyn Jenner.
That same year, same sex marriage was legalized in all fifty states on June 26, 2015, by an act of the United States Supreme Court.
Who would have thought that momentous decision was possible but just a few short years earlier?
But the speed at which our culture’s view on gender and sexuality has changed with lightning speed.
I remember reading that the Facebook in the U.S. used to list over 50 gender alternatives, if the word ‘alternatives’ are the right terminology whereas in the United Kingdom. a person has over 70 gender alternatives!
However, I believe that now one is able to custom list one’s gender preference throughout social media. So, I do not know how many options there are today?
When I was praying and considering what topic my devotional time to today, I felt directed to this one on Sexual Orientation and what God has to say about it.
I believe this extraordinarily complex topic was important for us to examine in light of the current socio-cultural conditions.
Not only is there real divisive pressure in the contemporary culture to accept modern conceptions of sex and gender, but children are also being taught that at school too. “Drag Queens” are reading books to children in Public Libraries.
Where young children are involved, parents become, rightly so, very protective.
While I could write a multitude of sessions on this topic, I am going to cover it in only one session.
Therefore, this devotional will be necessarily cursory.
However, I believe, at least I pray I believe, it will be sufficient (by the grace of God) to give a biblical answer to the issue of sexual (and gender) orientation.
I have become aware of the book; The Gospel & Sexual Orientation by Michael Lefebvre (2012) and I am going to my Kindle to read it to better educate myself.
I have also become aware of the book; Gender as Calling: The Gospel & Gender Identity (2017) and I am going to my Kindle to read it to better educate myself.
I encourage my readers to read them to better educate and inform themselves.
I should also mention that I have no University Degrees, expertise in medicine, biological sciences, or any branch of social work or psychology or counseling.
My perspective on this is this – 40 years ago, the circumstances of my life required me to “fight this battle of intimacy and orientation” with my soul.
I fought it very privately for the first twenty years with no thought of God other than extreme anger and even stronger feelings of the absolute worst betrayal.
Then, circumstances changed drastically, and I accepted Christ as my Savior.
I spent the next eight years privately trying to sort things out with God and then in 2008 I met the woman who in 2010 became my wife of twelve + years now.
There are reasons and rationales galore why I remained a bachelor for 48 years.
God alone knows them all.
God alone collected and recorded in His Book, every single one of my tears.
Psalm 56: 8 Amplified.
You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not recorded in Your book?
It’s only but by the Grace of God, My Savior
– I fought the wars, I ‘bled,’ carried the scars, cried the tears and then
ULTIMATELY GOD WON!
I leave the details, for obvious reasons, strictly between my God and Me and those I have learned by time and tragedy and betrayal to implicitly trust.
I also will point out that I have no Seminary training nor Ordination license.
My training is “limited” to what I try to read and grasp in God’s Scriptures.
And so, I believe my approach to this topic is more theological and pastoral.
My concern in this devotional is what the Bible teaches about this topic, and also how we as Christians and as the Body of Christ – the church should help, counsel, those wrestling with issues related to sexual and gender orientation.
As the Body of Christ, God’s Church in the world, it is a very righteous effort to rigorously and vigorously examine the Word of God as it relates to such issues.
“One God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – One Faith – One Baptism.” Amen!
God is absolutely Sovereign over His own Creation.
God is the Author of all life – Psalm 139:13-18 Amplified.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus Look full in his wonderful face And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace
Genesis 1:26-28Amplified Bible
26 Then God said, “Let Us (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) make man in Our image, according to Our likeness [not physical, but a spiritual personality and moral likeness]; and let them have complete authority over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, and over the entire earth, and over everything that creeps and crawls on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 And God blessed them [granting them certain authority] and said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subjugate it [putting it under your power]; and rule over (dominate) the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and every living thing that moves upon the earth.”
The Word of God for the Children of God. Gloria! In Excelsis Deo! Alleluia! Amen.
Let me briefly define a few terms so that we are thinking about the same thing:
* Sex-refers to the biological classification of a person as male or female based on physical features.
* Gender-refers to the social and psychological classification of a person as male or female based on personal perception.
There are a few instances in which a person’s physical anatomy is different from his or her chromosome make-up. That is very rare, and very difficult emotionally, very difficult pastorally, and beyond the scope of this writing.
Historically, a person’s physical sex and social gender were regarded as unified.
So, a physical male was also a social male, and physical female was also social female.
Today, however, this historical view has been challenged.
A person’s sex and gender are no longer regarded as necessarily matching.
Today, a physical male may be gendered as a female, or vice versa.
That is where the term transgender comes in: a transgender is a person whose sex and gender do not match.
Lesson
What is God’s answer for the issue of sexual orientation?
Let’s use the following outline:
1. Current Concerns about the Issue of Sexual Orientation
2. Culture’s Answers to the Issue of Sexual Orientation
3. God’s Answer to the Issue of Sexual Orientation
I. Current Concerns about the Issue of Sexual Orientation
First, let’s look at current concerns about the issue of sexual orientation. Why do we even need to examine this issue?
Sexual orientation and gender identity are at the forefront of today’s culture. A tremendous amount has been written about it. Laws have been changed. The media accepts that sex and gender do not need to match for people. And as I said, even social media, like Facebook, allows people to self-identify.
People who wrestle with sexual orientation and gender identity issues often struggle very deeply, and very privately although admittedly not all do.
A Transgender Remembrance Day poster stated,
“34% of trans people attempt suicide. 64% are bullied. 73% of trans people are harassed in public. 21% of trans people avoid going out in public due to fear.”
If these numbers are accurate, even if they are not close, that is sad testimony.
Our culture has been pressing very hard, especially in recent years, to accept whatever sexual orientation or gender identity a person chooses.
However, as we consider issues of sexual orientation and gender identity, we must be sure that any answers are in complete agreement with God’s Word.
We must not capitulate to “political correctness,” social media posts, medicine, science, or psychology unless its propositions are consistent with God’s Word.
Second, notice culture’s answers to the issue of sexual orientation.
One current view promoted is sexual orientation is determined by our biological make-up. They say sexual orientation is akin to eye color or left-handedness.
And with regard to gender, transgender activist and entertainer, Chaz Bono, said,
“There’s a gender in your brain and a gender in your body. For 99% of people, those things are in alignment. For transgender people, they’re mismatched. That’s all it is. It’s not complicated, it’s not a neurosis. It’s a mix-up. It’s a birth defect, like a cleft palate.”
The Question is being asked, researched and only relatively briefly studied:
Is Homosexuality in our Genetic make- up? I have no Idea whatsoever.
Is there a “Homosexual Gene?” Again, I have no Idea whatsoever.
It is far beyond my expertise ergo I can give no answers, nor I can offer one.
I suppose it is possible that future science will more thoroughly demonstrate that the biological factors associated with such conditions are truly causative.
I suppose that even the opposite may eventually be scientifically demonstrated.
Eventually it may even be discovered that there is indeed a “gay gene,” so that even homosexuality can be said to be congenital.
Again, this is beyond my expertise, and I leave it to the scientific community to do all of the necessary research and studies and the certainly inevitable debates.
The answers to these questions are extremely important; however, I believe they do not in and of themselves call for any reform of the church’s historic doctrine of man, of human sexuality, the undeniable impact of original sin.
Another current view promoted is that sexual orientation is determined by psychological and environmental factors.
Alfred Kinsey eventually stated,
“I have come to the conclusion that homosexuality is largely a matter of conditioning.”
Perhaps this is why sex authorities Masters and Johnson emphasized,
“It is of vital importance that all professionals in the mental health field keep in mind that the homosexual man or woman is basically a man or woman by genetic determination and homosexually oriented by learned preference.”
There are people who have “same-sex attraction” (SSA).
And there are also people who have what is known as “gender dysphoria,”
which is defined as an experience of clinically significant distress due to a “marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least six months duration.”
Our culture’s answers to the issue of sexual orientation and gender identity are inadequate. The vast majority of people dealing with these issues still struggle.
So, then, the question: what is God’s answer to the Body of Christ – HIS Church?
Matthew 28:18-20 Amplified Bible
18 Jesus came up and said to them, “All authority (all power of absolute rule) in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations [help the people to learn of Me, believe in Me, and obey My words], baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age.”
Matthew 10:16Amplified Bible
A Hard Road before Them
16 “Listen carefully: I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; so be wise as serpents, and innocent as doves [have no self-serving agenda].
So, what is God’s answer?
III. God’s Answer to the Issue of Sexual Orientation
Third, let’s examine God’s answer to the issue of sexual orientation.
Biblically, a person’s social gender is identified with his or her anatomical sex.
People are created by God with a male or female anatomical sex, and that sexual identity marks the person’s gender identity.
(There are, however, a very small number of people born with ambiguous anatomy, but that is echelons beyond the scope of this devotional message.)
The Bible’s foundational statement on sexual orientation and gender identity is Genesis 1:26-28:
“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'”
Note this passage of text introduces God’s design for humanity as “male” and “female.”
These two categories are not merely descriptive of all humans; they are prescriptive.
These are not the two outer ranges, with a gradation between them.
No, there are only two categories: male and female.
This passage of text also conflates sex and gender.
The biological classification is exactly the same as the social classification.
The reproductive and social duties of the man is presented within the same gender, as it is for the woman.
Lefebvre notes,
“Nowhere in Scripture are men or women exhorted to question their gender identity based on tastes or mannerisms-let alone their sexual orientation.”
Modern proponents for the sexual revolution say the Bible does not condemn homosexuality when it is properly understood.
They say that homosexual promiscuity in the Bible related to cultic prostitution or to rape or to pederasty.
They argue that the Bible approves of homosexual relationships, if they are true committed, life-long, monogamous relationships.
The theological problem is Scripture simply does not teach what they assert.
There are a number of passages in Scripture dealing with the complex issue of homosexuality.
These are:
Genesis 19:1-29 (the account of Sodom and Gomorrah),
Judges 19:1-30 (the Levite’s concubine),
Leviticus 18:22; 20:13 (the Mosaic prohibitions),
Romans 1:26-27 (Paul on unnatural desire),
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (Paul’s list of defilements),
1 Timothy 1:8-11 (Paul’s application of the Ten Commandments),
Jude 5-7 (Sodom and Gomorrah remembered).
We don’t have time to examine each of these texts, but I do definitely invite readers to do their own process of discernment and independent studies.
God’s answer, however, must also, by necessity, be given pastorally.
First, the Bible clearly teaches that there are only two sexes: male and female.
There are two genders, and these genders correspond to our biological sex.
Second, if you are experiencing sexual orientation or gender identity issues, please find qualified professional help, talk with someone whom you trust.
Third, grace is available to all.
All of us deal with sin and suffering in our lives.
Paul struggled with an unnamed affliction that God never removed from him (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). But God did promise that his grace was sufficient for him.
Fourth, the gospel provides the only hope for us to fulfill the Great Commission.
Luke 18:9-14 Amplified Bible
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
9 He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves and were confident that they were righteous [posing outwardly as upright and in right standing with God], and who viewed others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple [enclosure] to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood [ostentatiously] and began praying to himself [in a self-righteous way, saying]: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like the rest of men—swindlers, unjust (dishonest), adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing at a distance, would not even raise his eyes toward heaven, but was striking his chest [in humility and repentance], saying, ‘God, be merciful and gracious to me, the [especially wicked] sinner [that I am]!’ 14 I tell you, this man went to his home justified [forgiven of the guilt of sin and placed in right standing with God] rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself [forsaking self-righteous pride] will be exalted.”
God promises the total redemption of our whole man in Christ Jesus, our Savior.
In this life, we must continually make humble use of the means of grace, gifted to us by God, to Scripturally deal with our sin, grow, mature in Christlikeness.
John 8:1-11 Amplified Bible
The Adulterous Woman
8 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning He came back into the temple [court], and all the people were coming to Him. He sat down and began teaching them. 3 Now the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery. They made her stand in the center of the court, 4 and they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the very act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women [to death]. So, what do You say [to do with her—what is Your sentence]?” 6 They said this to test Him, hoping that they would have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and began writing on the ground with His finger. 7 However, when they persisted in questioning Him, He straightened up and said, “He who is without [any] sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Then He stooped down again and started writing on the ground. 9 They listened [to His reply], and they began to go out one by one, starting with the oldest ones, until He was left alone, with the woman [standing there before Him] in the center of the court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She answered, “No one, Lord!” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you either. Go. From now on sin no more.”]
2 Corinthians 5:17-21Amplified Bible
17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. 18 But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him], 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God].
20 So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. 21 He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness].
Finally, let us be a fellowship of God’s people who love all people, regardless of the issue with which they are struggling.
It grieves my heart greatly when I hear people make off-color comments about those struggling with sexual orientation gender identity issues.
May we celebrate and love others as God first celebrated and loved Us. Amen.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Heavenly Father, thank you that nothing is impossible for you. Hear my prayer for a miracle. Fill me with faith that you can answer. What seems impossible to me is within your power. When I can’t think of a solution, you are still able to act. Please help me believe that nothing I face in life can compare to you. You are the God of the impossible. Neither death or life, angels or rulers, things present or future, height or depth, or anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from your love. Through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Alleluia! Amen.
Making our relationships work involves how we relate and connect to one and to each other as male and female… a connection involving us as sexual beings.
So, today, by the charity of God, His unconditional love, we are now going to get deeply personal and try to consider God’s design and desire for sexual intimacy.
I know that sexual intimacy is a topic that can often awaken plenty of interest.
I know, also, that sexual intimacy is a topic that raises many “red flags” as well.
I also know this topic of sexual intimacy can likewise tend to be a very sensitive, even embarrassing or humiliating subject or traumatic, even traumatizing one.
It’s about something very personal and intimate.
In a culture and economic climate that wants to turn sexuality into a source of public commodity and consumption… something still feels very personal and intimate when the topic is brought up and an effort is made to “give it to God.”
I certainly want to respect and protect that personal nature and sensitivity.
We live in a time that prides itself on being sexually free.
Yet the reality, I believe, is that we are actually sexually conflicted.
We will not hesitate to politicize, we freely weaponize sexual intimacy in Congressional Hearings considering changes to the Roe Vs. Wade Supreme Court decision and in testimony and “political” speeches before Senatorial Hearings considering the nomination of our Supreme Court Justices.
It’s been said that what a culture tries to laugh at is what is most unresolved within it.
Our comedy is obsessed with sex because there is so much tension unresolved within us.
On Awards Shows, a man can make “very personal comments” about another man’s wife on National Television – and then “get slapped around and down.”
Our personal feelings about being sexual can elicit a mix of goodness and guilt…beauty and shame.
Sexuality is such a deep part of our identity and a deep part of our insecurity.
We live in a tension marked by both repression and obsession… inhibition and indulgence.
The only one NOT hung up in sexual confusion… is God.
God surrounds us … to speak of a gift that needs to be restored…. to speak of a gift often negated or neglected.
He says, “I made the stars… the seas… but lastly, I made you as male and female… as sexual beings.”
It’s God who created us as bodily beings. So, I’d like to stop and ask you to join me in a brief moment of prayer…and opening our hearts to God’s heart for us.
Let’s hear again the words from the first book of the Bible… as God gives poetic summary of who we are…
Genesis 1:26-28Amplified Bible
26 Then God said, “Let Us (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) make man in Our image, according to Our likeness [not physical, but a spiritual personality and moral likeness]; and let them have complete authority over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, and over the entire earth, and over everything that creeps and crawls on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 And God blessed them [granting them certain authority] and said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subjugate it [putting it under your power]; and rule over (dominate) the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and every living thing that moves upon the earth.”
Genesis 2:24-25 Amplified Bible
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed or embarrassed.
The Word of God for the Children of God. Gloria! In Excelsis Deo! Alleluia! Amen.
From these ancient words of God, we are each poetically reminded of that God alone created sexuality…. and the potential for sexual intimacy.
It’s not like God created the first humans, went on lunch break and then came back and was like, “what are they doing? Who taught them that?!”
The original state was His idea. And how different it is from what we often feel.
Last verse (25) – “The man and his wife were both naked, but they weren’t ashamed of it.”
Can you imagine that?
A nakedness of body that had nothing to hide from God or anyone…no shame.
No shame from their past.
No shame that comes from falling short of some expectations for performance.
The truth is that…
Our sexuality is rooted in God…. and reflected in…
• Our Complimentary Nature (‘male and female’)
We are uniquely created as male and female… to reflect the complimentary aspects of God’s character.
It’s helpful to ask what God says about when they become sexual beings.
When did they become male and female?
Was it when they left and joined partners? No
Was it when they united and created life? NO
At the very moment they were created…they were either male or female.
And that speaks to a valuable truth: You and I will never be or become more fundamentally a man or woman than you and I already are.
Now I acknowledge how deeply some find conflict with being male or female… some physical … some psychological…
I believe it is a conflict that is incredible deep because it is with something real… our biological nature as male and female is not something we can ever escape… but we must yet, by the charity and mercy of God, somehow navigate through.
• Creative Potential… (‘be fruitful and multiply’)
Male and Female were told to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ as their physical union could create new life.
God who is creating endows us with creative power…including the ability to create life.
Sexual intimacy is not reduced to the power and purpose of creating life… but neither can it be understood outside of that sacred power.
The command to go and multiply is not simply a matter of following an order… but reflecting the very divine order or nature itself.
In essence we are “continuing God’s creation act” from chaos into order.
It’s notable… that when God calls a people of this earth through whom he would miraculously make himself known
… what is the sign of the covenant
… circumcision… a marking out of the life creating male anatomy.
A sacred reminder that our sexuality is rooted in the Divine order.
• Covenant Partnerships (‘leave and become united’)
God describes that we were given a purpose… and a means to partner in fulfilling that purpose.
We were created as complimentary beings…able to create life… and therefore a man will leave his initial family to create a new union.
This partnership is the essence of marriage.
Now I know that some rigorously question the nature of marriage today.
Some may say that there were many forms of marriage in the Bible… the ancients would practice polygamy in which a man may have had many wives.
There were obligations to provide for the lineage of a brother who dies…by taking his wife.
The ancient cultures had some patterns that may seem strange in light of what God’s original design of an individual man joining an individual woman
… but the truth is…. that as God began to form a people… the understanding of marriage turns back to this original design… of a man leaving his father and mother… cleaving…. becoming bound to one woman…and becoming one flesh…uniting in a sacred intimacy only with her.
What is described is how the “becoming one flesh” …the physical union… consummates the commitment.
When two become one…. they then experience oneness in sexual union.
This helps us begin to understand how sexual oneness is designed for marriage… where the bonds of oneness have been divinely established.
The very nature of “passion” reflects the desire to give ourselves fully…with great fervor. Sexual Intimacy and Sexual passion are about giving ourselves physically and personally to another.
I believe it can be captured this way…
“Sexual passion is the stimulating of a God-given, God -driven longing from deep within us for oneness, for uniqueness; through the pleasure of releasing both personal and physical boundaries, leading to the uniting of one’s body and being, designed by God (Psalm 139:13-18) as a part of a lifelong partnership.”
I realize that within our current culture we have been trying to negate this idea.
The so called “sexual revolution” may have rightfully challenged the unhealthy repression of sexual desires…but in trying to ignore that sexual intimacy as that which God intended to unite us…it has instead, … been politicized, weaponized, and traumatically divided, torn apart, what wasn’t designed to be separated.
Experiencing oneness without being one deeply violates our personhood.
I acknowledge and recognize that may be hard for some to accept… and you may not agree at this point.
I don’t have the time today to engage how to consider such a truth today.
But I would suggest that through study of scripture and through prayer, the truth of our sexual nature speaks from both within us…and from around us.
The physical and personal were not neat to be separated.
Freedom is found when body and being are united…. when experiencing oneness is bound within the God created bonds and bounds of oneness.
Sexual intimacy is designed to unite us.
As Reverend Dr. Timothy Keller describes…
“Sexual Intimacy is a way to say to somebody else, “I belong completely and exclusively to you,” and if you use it to say anything else, it’s a lie. It’s a nonverbal piece of communication God designed, and it’s meant to carry a message…God said sex is a way to give yourself totally to somebody else and to say, “I belong completely and totally and exclusively to you.”
The simple truth is that no little girl dreams of the day they will find themselves in the arms of a stranger. No little boy dreams of the day they will be addicted and consumed by looking at a computer… or engaging in something rough and abusive. At our core, we were not designed for such separation of body and soul.
Our culture has invested more into the promotion of casual sex than any other idea I can think of.
We simply have to decide … is it really a progressive idea… or a regressive idea?
Do I really believe that becoming like the prevailing culture, succumbing to the prevailing social media driven peer pressure, is fulfillment of my personhood?
Godly Restoration comes with realigning the longings of being and body… rediscovering what it means that we are human beings expressed in bodies.
Our current cultural desire to try to separate physical pleasure from personal commitment….is not because we don’t feel the connection…it’s not because the facts regarding social cost aren’t clear … it’s because we have found it hard.
Self-Discipline, Self-control is hard… and it’s hard when there is such a long period between when sexual desires arise, and marriage tends to arise.
And it’s this tension which the Apostle Paul addresses.
He writes to those who are living in Greece…the city of Corinth.
And here is what he says…as captured in a paraphrased translation.
II. God’s Desire for Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:1-7The Message
To Be Married, to Be Single . . .
7 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
7 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
The words of the Apostle Paul here may not sound like the greatest promotion of marriage.
In fact, the wording of other translations can sound even more like a “resignation” …as if to say “if you must get married…it’s okay” … as if Paul merely resigns marriage as a necessity for the less self-controlled.
Admittedly, it does not quite have that Hallmark Valentine’s Day card feel.
But the first verse helps us understand what Paul’s intent is.
He begins. “Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
While Paul certainly has reasons to see the benefits of celibacy
… we need to understand that he is beginning to address particular issues and questions raised by those in Corinth.
Other Translations. – ‘Is it good for a man to touch a woman?’… euphemism for sexual relationship.
To really understand the question, we need to remember the philosophy that was pervading the culture at the time…
Corinth…the city to which he is writing… was part of Greece…and just 40 miles from Athens.
The idea can be summed up as DUALISM = a complete separation of material and spiritual… and that which is of the earthly desires and bodily life being deemed either an enemy of the spiritual or at least irrelevant.
Out of this false separation, some conclude we can do anything with your body we would like.
Others found in this dualistic thinking a more ascetic approach to life… detach themselves from their sexuality.
This included those who were married thinking that such physical pleasure may be unfitting of spiritual life.
Such marriages are called “Platonic marriages” after the Greek philosopher Plato.
Many people married but did not consummate the marriage with a physical joining together; instead, they did that kind of physical activity with temple prostitutes and child slaves.
As some may or may not recall
…the city of Corinth had one of the most massive temples of its day… the Temple of Aphrodite…which has been uncovered and can be visited today.
It housed an estimated 1,000 priestesses who served as temple prostitutes…. A form of sacred legal prostitution.
That may sound crazy to us… the idea that a culture would invest so much to create non-relational sex…give it an almost sacred glorified place.
I wonder if we haven’t invested far more than that considering the length and breadth, height, depth and width of the reaches of technology, social media, to create our own “temples of sex”… where we try to find “virtual” not eternal life.
Satan’s great strategy, when it comes to sex, sexual intimacy is to do everything he can to hyper encourage sex outside of marriage, and to discourage sex within marriage. It is an equal victory for Satan if he actually accomplishes either plan!
So, Paul wants to make it clear: Physical intimacy in marriage is GOOD.
That may sound like the most obvious statement ever made… but I actually believe that a part of us may wonder. We need to really know that sexual intimacy in marriage is GOOD and not just a good thing but a God thing.
Whatever feels awkward in connecting God with our sexual pleasure is a reflection of something corrupted.
He wants us to stop letting sexuality become defined as something bad in itself.
Paul is not saying sex is the only reason for marriage, or the most important reason for marriage.
Paul is simply confronting their negating of sex, sexual intimacy within God’s covenant of marriage.
Our feelings about sex today, including sexual intimacy in marriage, are often still caught between obsession and repression.
…. And Paul here reminds us that neither the indulgent nor the inhibited are really enjoying true sexual freedom.
Apostle Paul concludes saying he himself embraces his circumstances of being unmarried. He was almost certainly married earlier in his life
… but is likely widowed now.
And he values the freedom to serve God’s work with the freedom this gives him.
That affirms that marriage is not an end in itself… there is a larger purpose.
He knows that sexual intimacy is not essential to life…but it is powerful…and cannot be negated or neglected.
So his advice is simple…
1. Experience sex only with your spouse
Paul writes in verse 2: …But since there is so much immorality…
“It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder…”
So Paul is saying sex only within marriage…
In a world that directs us away from relational intimacy
…. God calls the heart back to home.
This is the wisdom we hear in the Book of Proverbs.
Proverbs 5:15-19 (NIV)
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
2. Satisfy your spouse’s sexual needs
Look at 1 Corinthians 7 verses 3 and 4:
“The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other…”
The husband and wife have a marital duty to each other.
And in this context, that “marital duty” is sex.
Paul is saying that you and I are to satisfy our spouse’s sexual needs.
Paul says that we should not be depriving each other of what our bodies offer each other. He’s referring to the powerful DESIRE he had just described.
He’s not speaking about creating children…but of the pleasure itself.
As people who really value our spiritual nature, we may be quite comfortable acknowledging that physical intimacy is good, but perhaps a bit awkward with acknowledging, thinking, believing Creator God really intended such pleasure.
Paul not only affirms but even calls for both husbands and wives to ‘satisfy’ one another. Yes… it is a sacred means for being co-creators of life… but there is also a very necessary dimension of pleasure… of satisfying natural sensual desires.
In the Song of Songs…we hear of very sensual love…a love story shows marital sex to be erotic and personal, romantic and fun, passionate and patient.
As God’s gift to the intimacy between husband and wife, physical intimacy should be HIGHLY VALUED, THOROUGHLY ENJOYED on a REGULAR basis.
All of these adjectives will vary in diverse measures and to varying degrees…
Will our value always be the same?
No… but we can still each share in valuing it.
Will the level of enjoyment always be the same?
No… but enjoyment can always be a part.
What is regular?
That is to be defined through prayer and the comfort of the husband and wife.
So how can we develop such a sexually healthy marriage?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Amplified Bible
9 Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; 10 for if [a]either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Please let me mention four quick points…
But FIRST and FOREMOST, and UTMOST,
Pray God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit into the moment.
Examine and be aware of the eternal equation: God plus Husband plus Wife
– Relational and Sexual intimacy in the Covenant of marriage always and forever begins and ends with God as Sovereign.
With God listening, and with Holy Spirit Guidance, being Husband and Wife in the image of God means you are having those “uncomfortable” conversations,
1. Confronting your SHARED sense of autonomy, individuality and uniqueness
2. Discovering and Challenging and Exploring your issues of fear and trust.
• Sex is never just about sex. It’s about connection.
3. Intentionally seek to know the other’s needs… which involves talking
4. Be considerate, intentional, utmost respectful about the sexual relationship
Finally….Paul makes one more main point…
3. Guard your relationship from the tensions and temptations which will seek to threaten it.
Paul says…we need to realize there is that which is set against us.
He warns us…there are spiritual forces who sees marriage as a sign of God’s covenant love on earth… a signpost of God…and wants to utterly tear it up.
He will try to draw every married life away from its center – GOD!
To submit to one another and to God (Ephesians 5:22-33),
to submit and to yield to one another sexually, intimately in marriage is to truthfully, faithfully, obediently step forward into God-created intimacy.
“My beloved is mine, and I am his; he grazes among the lilies.” Song of Solomon 2:16
These are poetic words of belonging, words that for an engaged couple can generate tender imagining and anticipation of what life together will be.
Lived into and lived out by a married couple, these words can hold together in intimacy what much of the world seems to determined to break apart.
Intimacy in marriage, sexual and otherwise, was created by God and is to be fervently and vigorously fought for, delighted in and also fiercely guarded.
To yield to one another sexually in marriage is to step into God-created intimacy that takes us out of ourselves and into places where the walls can crumble, and we can be tenderly vulnerable and real.
There is peace and expansiveness of heart that come with this intimacy, one that offers such glorious contrast to the confusion and momentum of the world.
We must be willing to fight for intimacy in our marriages, to fiercely guard it.
We fight for it by being attentive to each other’s hearts, by yielding to God in a way that allows us to more easily submit to God, freely yield to one another.
We guard it by being intentional, considering what pulls us from intimacy and stepping away from those places, considering what brings us life and stepping deliberately into those places.
“My beloved is mine, and I am his.”
We long to belong.
First and Foremost, unto God, our Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.
Then to each other, in the image of God into which we were created.
The Covenant of Marriage, as an intimate coming together before God, offers a sense of divine connection, belonging that mirrors our belonging to the Father.
While the risk-reward vulnerability that intimacy brings is sometimes hard or scary to step into, it is such a wonderfully holy place that God gives unto us, a place of delighting in each another that echoes of our Father’s delight in us.
God’s demand is that we love each other perfectly and consider the needs of each other before our own, even in the bedroom.
We know all too well how hard it is to make marriage and intimacy work and it is no surprise that we cannot do all that is required of us.
Sometimes it feels like we can barely do any part of it.
This is the weight of sin and the work of God’s law.
When we see those failures, we don’t just need to forgive each other, we look to Christ who forgives all our sins – who forgives all our sexual sins and failures – and we embrace his righteousness as we seek to move forward.
This is the work of the gospel, peace and forgiveness in Christ that flows over to one another.
He alone empowers us to do good in all our duties.
So, we do love one another.
We do try to set aside our own needs and serve one another in Christ-like love. We live in the strength of the gospel to the glory of God, even in the bedroom.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Heavenly Father, the gift of marriage and its many blessings come from your loving hand. Thank you for these gifts which enrich our home and strengthen our relationship. Continue to work your love in our hearts that we may grow in grace and our understanding of your plan for marriage and sexuality.
Give us an extra measure of charity and selfless love in our intimacy as we strive to set our own needs aside and look only to serve one another. Thank you for the grace that forgives us and spurs us forward to forgive one another when we fail.
By thy charity and mercy, do not let us lose heart in our journey and sustain us when we face overwhelming despair. Bring us your love and mercy every day as we look to honor you in our marriage, reflect your intimate love to the world.
In Jesus’ name, Gloria! In Excelsis Deo! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Amen.
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 