Matthew 13:3-9 The Message

A Harvest Story

13 ^1-3 At about that same time Jesus left the house and sat on the beach. In no time at all a crowd gathered along the shoreline, forcing him to get into a boat. Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.

^3-8 “What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.

⁹ “Are you listening to this? Really listening?”

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

We all get busy, sometimes extraordinarily. Life throws obligations at us from every direction. However, we must be careful to prioritize what matters most.

Here in Matthew’s Narrative, Jesus used the Parable of the Soils to describe how the “daily cares of this life” can quite severely hinder us (Matthew 13:3-9).

A man sows seeds (the Word of God), but the seeds are destroyed in various ways. In one example, thorns rise and choke out the new plant, the Word. Jesus explains the raising thorns represent the cares of this life. Not disturbing or abominable sins, just everyday concerns that slowly replace our first priority.

We are to seek first the kingdom of God, but life sometimes gets in the way.

One key way we see the kingdom is by participating in the local church. We don’t just get involved because there are consequences when we don’t.

We become part of a local church because God calls us to an abundant life, which we cannot experience or receive without joining the body of Christ.

But what are some more specific ways we gain abundant life from a local church? What reasons does the Bible give to prioritize the family of God?

Here are seven reasons to get involved in church even when our schedule is full.

1. Community and Fellowship

The Lord doesn’t call us to live Christianity in isolation.

We need community and fellowship. 

Hebrews 10:24-25 emphasizes this:

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Gathering together with other believers, we encourage, support one another.

God is within himself a relationship.

The mystery of the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as one—reveals the importance of friendship.

The only aspect God considered “not good” in the Garden of Eden was Adam being alone.

Genesis 2:18-25 The Message

^18-20 God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” So God formed from the dirt of the ground all the animals of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the Man to see what he would name them. Whatever the Man called each living creature, that was its name. The Man named the cattle, named the birds of the air, named the wild animals; but he didn’t find a suitable companion.

^21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

^23-25     The Man said,
“Finally! Bone of my bone,
    flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
    for she was made from Man.”
    Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
    The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

Being made in the image of God, that perfect creation required Adam to have a relationship with someone like himself and yet distinct, complementary, Eve.

Adam didn’t need Eve because of sin.

On the contrary, God designed them that way.

In the new covenant and the church, no part of the Body of Christ can say to another, “I don’t need you” (1 Corinthians 12:1).

This redemptive community reflects the original design—by the Spirit, we need one another because we’ve been redeemed.

Our brothers and sisters in Christ are a spiritual family, more eternal than our blood relatives alone (although we hope they are saved, too).

Together, we combat division, loneliness and isolation, finding support for our spiritual growth into God’s purpose for us.

2. Spiritual Growth

Active participation in church activities, such as Bible studies, sermons, and discussion groups, youth groups, local volunteer in mission, across the globe, food pantries, clothing outlets, thrift stores, service to the homeless and the marginalized, the impoverished, etcetera provides a structured environment for deepening our understanding of God’s Scripture and Christian principles. This regular engagement with God’s Word fosters a more profound spiritual experience and a depth of spiritual maturity and a closer relationship with God.

Colossians 3:16 highlights the importance of this mutual edification: “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

Communal learning and teaching enrich our faith.

Through our participating in church, we can learn from others and share our insights, creating ministry, creating a dynamic and supportive environment.

Teaching within the church is also a powerful tool for personal spiritual growth.

Taking on teaching roles challenges us to study the Bible more diligently and clearly communicate our faith.

This process not only strengthens our own understanding but also inspires and educates others within the community.

Engaging in correct biblical teaching transforms theological intellectualism into practical applications, making faith more relevant and actionable.

The church community provides accountability and encouragement, essential components for spiritual growth.

Fellow believers can offer real support, guidance, and constructive feedback, helping individuals, both believers and non-believers, stay committed to their faith journey despite busy schedules.

3. A Space to Use Our Spiritual Gifts

Each of us possesses unique gifts bestowed by the Holy Spirit, intended to serve and edify the church community.

Participating in church activities allows individuals to discover, hone, and employ these gifts for others’ benefit and God’s glory.

Since God gave us spiritual gifts for Christ’s Body, we can’t find or develop them apart from the church.

A spiritual gift isn’t a natural talent.

God imparts supernatural abilities from the Spirit, beyond our human abilities, for mutual edification.

These gifts, mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12:8-10, Romans 12:6-8, Ephesians 4:11, include wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernment, tongues, interpretation of tongues, serving, teaching, encouragement, giving, leadership, and mercy.

Each gift serves a unique purpose and contributes to the unity and growth of our streets, neighborhoods and local, state, national, and global communities.

Using these gifts as we are summoned, covenanted to do, effectively ministers to one another, build up, edify the church, and ever advance God’s kingdom.

1 Peter 4:10 underscores this responsibility: “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” This verse emphasizes that spiritual gifts are not meant to be kept idle but constantly, actively, used to serve the church and its members.

Regular involvement in church offers practical opportunities to develop these gifts and find a deeper sense of our purpose.

This active engagement also allows for mentorship and feedback from more experienced members, further refining and further enhancing these abilities.

4. Worship and Praise

Spiritual disciplines find more power when done with others, especially corporate worship, prayer, and praise.

Matthew 18:20 emphasizes the power of gathering together: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

God is always present everywhere, but Jesus manifests more in communal worship.

When we unite in praise, worship and prayer, we invite the Holy Spirit to move powerfully among us, bringing encouragement, healing, and spiritual growth.

Psalm 27:4 New Living Translation

⁴ The one thing I ask of the Lord—
    the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
    delighting in the Lord’s perfections
    and meditating in his Temple.

Psalm 133:1 further teaches how beautiful and strong unity can be: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”

These verses celebrates the harmony and blessing from both believers, as well as, non-believers in the House God built, being, living and worshiping together.

These psalms compares our unity with the High Priest’s anointing oil. With Christ as our high priest, this represents the Holy Spirit’s anointing upon us when we practice these disciplines. Jesus even teaches how God’s answer becomes more sure when two or more agree in prayer (Matthew 18:19).

Acts 2:43-47 New Living Translation

⁴³ A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. ⁴⁴ And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. ⁴⁵ They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. ⁴⁶ They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity^[a]— ⁴⁷ all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

Participating in corporate worship allows us to join our voices in praise, lifting our hearts in collective adoration of God. This shared experience enhances personal faith and can lead to profound spiritual encounters. Group prayer connects believers, allowing us to intercede for one another and share burdens.

Our full schedules shouldn’t isolate us from God’s power and His own power of transformation available when we participate in corporate praise and prayer.

5. Service Opportunities

John 13:34-35 New Living Translation

³⁴ So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. ³⁵ Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

Serving others is a covenanted, very fundamental aspect of the Christian faith, reflecting Jesus’ ministry, teachings and actions. By participating in church-led service projects, we can all impact our communities and embody Christ’s love.

James 2:17 emphasizes the importance of active faith:

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

Engaging in service opportunities, such as food pantries, feeding the homeless, supporting local shelters, or participating in mission trips, brings this principle to life. It allows Christians to practice their faith in concrete, meaningful ways.

Involvement in service activities helps address pressing social issues and alleviates suffering.

Many churches organize outreach programs that provide food, clothing, education, and medical care, school supplies, after school activities, to the underserved. By volunteering, by contributing time and resources to these initiatives, we can help meet a community’s physical and emotional needs.

These opportunities provide personal growth and fulfillment. They encourage us to step far outside our comfort zones and engage with diverse populations.

In addition, serving alongside fellow church and community members and local businesses fosters an enormous sense of deep camaraderie and shared purpose.

It strengthens the bonds within the congregation and builds a supportive network of people committed to making a difference. This collective effort amplifies each person’s contribution, showing the power of unified action.

6. A Reminder that God Is Our Source and Provision

Psalm 23 Authorized (King James) Version

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Many times, our schedules become full because we try to provide for ourselves.

Taking time to get involved in church reminds us that God is our source and provision, as we see in the Sabbath principles.

Regular church attendance and participation reinforce the truth that our sustenance and well-being come from God, not from our efforts alone.

Exodus 20:8-10 emphasizes the significance of the Sabbath: “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God.”

This ancient, time honored commandment teaches the need to set aside time for rest and worship, acknowledging God’s sovereign role as our provider.

Under the New Covenant, we aren’t bound by a specific day, but the deeper abiding principle remains. By attending church, we intentionally take a break from our busy schedules to focus on prayer, praise, worship and rejuvenation.

Involvement in church activities helps us recalibrate our priorities, ensuring that our relationship with God remains at the center of our lives.

True rest and true provision come from trusting in God rather than constantly striving on our own. Taking some time for church fosters a healthier work-life balance. It provides an opportunity to disconnect from career pressures and reconnect with our faith community, family, and ourselves. A work-then-rest rhythm is essential for maintaining physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

7. The Great Commission

Jesus gives a universal command and mission in Matthew 28:19-20:

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

Attending church isn’t the end goal.

We are sent by the Resurrected Jesus from the church community to the world.

Active participation in church life teaches us how God sends us to others and how in His resurrection power, it enables us to engage in this crucial work.

Church involvement provides numerous opportunities to share the gospel and disciple others. We can spread Christ’s message to people who have not heard it through organized outreach programs, mission trips, and community events.

These structured activities, experiences, make it easier to find ways to witness.

God’s family trains for discipleship, offering resources, education, mentorship that equip believers to grow in their own faith and to help others do the same.

Sunday school classes, Bible study groups, and discipleship programs provide the tools and support for effective evangelism and spiritual mentorship.

The church community acts as an outpost of heaven, the kingdom culture here on earth. Church involvement allows us to model Christ-like behavior, showing the gospel by how we live instead of what we say. This very visible testimony can inspire and encourage, empower, others to seek a relationship with Christ.

The church is not an ordinary organization founded by just anyone. The church is founded by Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior who is the head of the church.

According to the Bible, the church is the body of Christ.

Belonging to the church is a privilege not to be taken for granted.

The church is here to continue the work of Christ on earth and to build God’s kingdom.

You and I need the church in order to be equipped for service, to enjoy the fellowship of other believers, and to honor our Lord through faithful worship.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Isaiah 1:18-20 Authorized (King James) Version

¹⁸ Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord:
though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
¹⁹ If ye be willing and obedient,
ye shall eat the good of the land:
²⁰ but if ye refuse and rebel,
ye shall be devoured with the sword:
for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

Isaiah 2:1-4 Authorized (King James) Version

2 The word that Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem.

² And it shall come to pass in the last days,
that the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established
in the top of the mountains,
and shall be exalted above the hills;
and all nations shall flow unto it.
³ And many people shall go and say,
Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the house of the God of Jacob;
and he will teach us of his ways,
and we will walk in his paths:
for out of Zion shall go forth the law,
and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
⁴ And he shall judge among the nations,
and shall rebuke many people:
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
and their spears into pruninghooks:
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war any more.

Psalm 20 Authorized (King James) Version

Psalm 20

To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.

¹ The Lord hear thee in the day of trouble;
the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;
² send thee help from the sanctuary,
and strengthen thee out of Zion;
³ remember all thy offerings,
and accept thy burnt sacrifice; Selah.
⁴ Grant thee according to thine own heart,
and fulfil all thy counsel.
⁵ We will rejoice in thy salvation,
and in the name of our God we will set up our banners:
the Lord fulfil all thy petitions.

⁶ Now know I that the Lord saveth his anointed;
he will hear him from his holy heaven
with the saving strength of his right hand.
⁷ Some trust in chariots, and some in horses:
but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.
⁸ They are brought down and fallen:
but we are risen, and stand upright.
⁹ Save, Lord: let the king hear us when we call.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

https://translate.google.com/

Mark 8:14-21Amplified Bible

¹⁴ Now the disciples had forgotten to bring bread, and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. ¹⁵ Jesus repeatedly ordered them, saying, “Watch out! Beware of the ^[a]leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod.” ¹⁶ They began discussing this with one another, saying, “It is because we have no bread [that He said this].” ¹⁷  Jesus, aware of this [discussion], said to them, “Why are you discussing [the fact]  that you have no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? ¹⁸ Though you have eyes, do you not see? And though you have ears, do you not hear and listen [to what I have said]? And do you not remember, ¹⁹ when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces you picked up?” They answered, “Twelve.” ²⁰ “And [when I broke] the seven  [loaves] for the four thousand, how many large baskets full of broken pieces did you pick up?” And they answered, “Seven.” ²¹ And He was saying to them, “Do you still not understand?”

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

Hardened Hearts and Hardened Bread

Psalm 95:8-9 Amplified Bible

⁸ 
Do not harden your hearts and become spiritually dull as at Meribah [the place of strife],
And as at Massah [the place of testing] in the wilderness,
⁹ 
“When your fathers tested Me,
They tried Me, even though they had seen My work [of miracles].

A hard hardened heart is as useless as a hard hardened loaf of bread.

At Meribah the Israelites complained to Moses because they had no water (Exodus 17:1-7). They were so convinced that God couldn’t provide for them that they simply lost their faith in God.

When someone’s heart becomes hardened, that person is so stubbornly set in their ways that they cannot turn to God. Hard hearts don’t turn that way overnight; it is the result of a long series of choices to disregard God’s will.

Because that generation of Israelites persisted in stubborn disobedience, God chose not to let them enter his “rest,” the land he had promised their ancestors.

What would keep people from the ultimate blessing of entering God’s rest?

Unthankful hearts, to begin with.

Not listening to what God calls them to do. Being stubborn about doing things their way and not God’s way. Doubting that God is working in love in their lives.

When the Promises Are Mixed with Faith

4 ^1-3 For as long, then, as that promise of resting in him pulls us on to God’s goal for us, we need to be careful that we’re not disqualified. We received the same promises as those people in the wilderness, but the promises didn’t do them a bit of good because they didn’t receive the promises with faith. If we believe, though, we’ll experience that state of resting. But not if we don’t have faith. Remember that God said,

Exasperated, I vowed,
    “They’ll never get where they’re going,
    never be able to sit down and rest.”

^3-7 God made that vow, even though he’d finished his part before the foundation of the world. Somewhere it’s written, “God rested the seventh day, having completed his work,” but in this other text he says, “They’ll never be able to sit down and rest.” So this promise has not yet been fulfilled. Those earlier ones never did get to the place of rest because they were disobedient. God keeps renewing the promise and setting the date as today, just as he did in David’s psalm, centuries later than the original invitation:

Today, please listen,
    don’t turn a deaf ear . . .

^8-11 And so this is still a live promise. It wasn’t canceled at the time of Joshua; otherwise, God wouldn’t keep renewing the appointment for “today.” The promise of “arrival” and “rest” is still there for God’s people. God himself is at rest. And at the end of the journey we’ll surely rest with God. So let’s keep at it and eventually arrive at the place of rest, not drop out through some sort of disobedience.

Hebrews 4:1-11, we are encouraged to enter the eternal rest that Jesus has won for us through his death and resurrection by being faithful followers of Christ.

The good news of salvation in Jesus is that there are no hearts so hard that the Holy Spirit cannot soften them. Jesus had encountered many hard hearts in his teaching and preaching ministry, yet he lived and died to offer salvation to all.

Reignite Your Passion for the Lord …

Have you ever found yourself abnormally impatient, or more commonly short-tempered, or acting more arrogantly than normal and you’re unsure why?

None of us are perfect, and we all have our less-than-proud moments in life that keep us close to the cross, but if you’ve noticed these tendencies increase for a prolonged period of time, chances are you’re suffering from a hardening heart.

A hardened heart is unmoved by things others would be compassionate about. It is a heart that is rebelling against God.

In Mark 8:17-18 Jesus accused his disciples of having hardened hearts when they did not believe or understand how Jesus could use a small batch of bread to feed a massive crowd, saying, “Have ye your heart yet hardened? Having eyes, see ye not? And having ears, hear ye not? And do ye not remember?”

A hard heart is characterized by an inability to perceive spiritually.

When people are hardhearted toward God, they are spiritually blind and deaf—they can’t see spiritual truth or hear the Lord speak to them.

So how can we ensure our hearts remain “soft” and open to the things of God, and how can we with Holy Spirit intercession, regain closeness with Him after realizing our hearts have indeed become hardened? 

1. Repent and Believe the Good News (Psalm 51)

The first step might seem obvious, but it’s important: we need to repent!

God appears to take hardened hearts very seriously throughout scripture, with the phrase “hardened or hardness of heart” mentioned more than 20 times in the Old and New Testaments.

This can be seen in Matthew 13:15, when Jesus says, “For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes— so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to me and let me heal them.”

We only harm ourselves when we harden our hearts. And since we’re unable to hear fully from God or even receive healing when our hearts are hardened, we need to ask for forgiveness for turning away from Him and re-surrender our whole hearts before even beginning to move back towards the right direction.

2. Ask the Holy Spirit to Reveal the Source of Your Hardness 

Psalm 51:10-13 New American Standard Bible 1995

¹⁰ Create ^[a]in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew ^[b]a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me away from Your presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.
¹³ Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners will ^[c]be converted to You.

Have there been wrongful patterns of thinking, lies you’ve believed about yourself, others, or God, or alignment with activities or beliefs that misaligned with Him? Then, it’s time to infuse your mind and heart with revelatory truth obtained through studying the Word and time well spent praying with Jesus.

It’s not enough to decide not to be “hard” anymore. We need to replace an inaction with an action. Kind of like replacing good healthy nutritious food away from junk food when starting a help regime.

Hardened hearts are often a sad consequence of bitterness and unforgiveness towards others or ourselves. Think of the last bitter or angry person you’ve interacted with. Were they kind and warm, or were they cold and dismissive?

We can’t remain close to God and exhibit godly characteristics when carrying unforgiveness in our hearts. So often, we’re unforgiving towards ourselves or another without fully realizing it.

After a time, the resentfulness just builds and takes over, affecting our ability to be open-hearted and loving because we’re so tired by our pain.

When dealing with a hardened heart in the past, I found that it helps to invoke a spirit of thankfulness. When focusing your thoughts and turning your affection to the Lord, meditating on all that he’s done for us and all He continues to be for us -our sources of strength, comfort, and guidance- it’s much easier to reignite the passion for Jesus that softened our hearts in the first place.

If you’ve been feeling a bit hardened or ambivalent towards the Lord recently, consider setting aside times of worship and meditating on the love of God and His faithfulness throughout your life.

It’s almost impossible to remain ambivalent or distant towards the Lord, when sincerely worshipping Him for how good He is!

3. Heart and Soul, Hands, Feet: Love and Serve Others

Psalm 100 New American Standard Bible 1995

All Men Exhorted to Praise God.

A Psalm for ^[a]Thanksgiving.

100 Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
² Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
³ Know that the Lord ^[b]Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and ^[c]not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

⁴ Enter His gates with ^[d]thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
⁵ For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

Another way to reignite a hardened heart is to intentionally love and serve others. I’ve found a direct correlation between seasons of hard-heartedness and my self-absorption. When living for ourselves, with lots of focus on what makes us happy, the concerns of the flesh, we tend to care and serve others less.

When we do not love others, we ignore so many direct commands in the Bible, like 1 John 4:7, that keep us close to God. We are, of course, utterly loved by God regardless of any action we fulfill or any strings attached.

But when we’re in close communion with Him, that love is meant to outpour into the lives of people around us. How we love and care for others serves as a litmus test for the condition of our hearts. (John 13:34-35) A hard heart doesn’t have the capacity to help and serve others. It’s way way too wrapped up in self.

John 13:34-35 Amplified Bible

³⁴ I am giving you a new commandment, that you ^[a]love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.”

If you feel an imbalance between the amount of time and energy you spend either in prayer or physically helping or serving people around you, consider whether this is a result of a hardened heart, and think about ways to begin sowing into the lives of others.

This is a very effective way of reigniting your relationship with the Lord because our LOVE without Him, is nothing but a “clanging symbol,” 1 Corinthians 13:1.

Serving and loving others forces us to connect with God because we really can’t affectively love others without being in relationship with Him.

God cares about the condition of our hearts above all else because we can’t be close to Him without an open and vulnerable heart. If you feel you’ve been hardened for a bit, or perhaps even years, it’s nothing to feel guilty about.

God’s not mad at you.

But He does want access to our whole heart because he knows the only true way to peace and joy is by being in constant, complete intimacy with Him.

Let today be the beginning of your heart-softening process, feel the relief and wholeness that comes when forgiving, letting our guard down, love fully again.

4. Declare His Praises Over and Over Again

Psalm 51:14-17Amplified Bible

¹⁴ 
Rescue me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation;
Then my tongue will sing joyfully of Your righteousness and Your justice.
¹⁵ 
O Lord, open my lips,
That my mouth may declare Your praise.
¹⁶ 
For You do not delight in sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You are not pleased with burnt offering.
¹⁷ 
My [only] sacrifice [acceptable] to God is a broken spirit;
A broken and contrite heart [broken with sorrow for sin, thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

The church is called to be a witness, and a witness is one who declares and demonstrates.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

Notice the structure, You are … that you may. 

This is our primary task as Christians.

We are indwelt by Jesus Christ so that we may demonstrate the life and character of the One who lives within.

The responsibility to fulfill this calling of the church belongs to every true Christian. All are called, all are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, all are expected to fulfill their calling in the midst of the hardened chaotic world. The expression of the church’s witness may sometimes be corporate, but the true responsibility to witness is always the individuals. It is your individual responsibility and mine.

But here a problem re-emerges: the problem of possible counterfeit Christians.

It is easy for the church (or the individual Christian) to talk about displaying the character of Christ and to make grandiose claims about doing so.

However, the image Christians project is not always the true, biblical image of Jesus Christ. Humility, patience, love, unity, and peace — these are the truest marks of Jesus.

Christians are to witness, but not arrogantly or rudely, not with an attitude of holier-than-thou smugness, not in sanctimonious presumption, and certainly not against a background of ugly church fights, Christian against Christian.

The church is not to talk about itself.

The church is to fearlessly sing about the Lord their God and Savior Jesus!

Psalm 27:1-6 Amplified Bible

A Psalm of Fearless Trust in God.

A Psalm of David.

27 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the refuge and fortress of my life—
Whom shall I dread?
² 
When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
³ 
Though an army encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
Even in this I am confident.

⁴ 
One thing I have asked of the Lord, and that I will seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life,
To gaze upon the beauty [the delightful loveliness and majestic grandeur] of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple.
⁵ 
For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
⁶ 
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,
In His tent I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

It is to be lowly in mind, not boasting of its power or seeking to advance its prestige. The church cannot save the world — but the Lord of the church can.

It is not the church for which Christians are to labor and spend their lives, but for the Lord of the church. The church cannot exalt its Lord while it seeks to exalt itself. The true church does not seek to gain power in the eyes of the world.

It already has all the power it needs from the Lord who indwells it.

Further, the church is to be patient and forbearing, knowing that the seeds of truth take time to sprout, time to grow, and time to come to full harvest.

The church is not to demand that society make sudden changes in long established social patterns. Rather, the church is to exemplify positive social change by shunning evil and practicing righteousness, thus planting seeds of truth which will take root in society and ultimately produce the fruit of change.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Psalm 150The Message

150 ^1-6 Hallelujah!
Praise God in his holy house of worship,
    praise him under the open skies;
Praise him for his acts of power,
    praise him for his magnificent greatness;
Praise with a blast on the trumpet,
    praise by strumming soft strings;
Praise him with castanets and dance,
    praise him with banjo and flute;
Praise him with cymbals and a big bass drum,
    praise him with fiddles and mandolin.
Let every living, breathing creature praise God!
    Hallelujah!

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

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Matthew 18:15-20 English Standard Version

If Your Brother Sins Against You

¹⁵ “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed^[a] in heaven. ¹⁹ Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

“Been there, Done that ___Ain’t Going Back!”

One of the most difficult things to face in life is when the church hurts you.

Part of the reason it is so challenging is that you expect church to be a safe haven. It’s one thing when people who don’t profess to know Jesus hurt you.

It’s becomes an entirely different scenario when those who know Jesus do the same thing.

In the boxing arena, there is a time honored saying that the punch that hurts the worst is the one you don’t see coming. For many of us, who have “been there and done that,” this is exactly how church hurt feels. It’s the punch you don’t see coming or even expect and that is the one that does the most damage.

If you stay in church long enough, then at some point, you may get hurt.

Not because people are trying to hurt you, but because people are human.

In their sinful human nature, even though they are Christians, they have the capacity to hurt you. However, this means the same potential lives in us, too.

The reality is if you are in church long enough, you could hurt someone, too. So, what do you do when you are the one who has been hurt?

The steps you take in the aftermath and how you immediately respond are critical. If you don’t respond promptly and correctly, this can set off a chain of reactions, like a mile long chain of dominoes, that can be difficult to overcome.

Step # 1 – Acknowledge It, Shout It Out Before God

Psalm 13 English Standard Version

How Long, O Lord?

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I take counsel in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

³ Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
⁴ lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

⁵ But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

When you get hurt by a church, sometimes you stop and ask in wonder, did that really happen?

I vividly remember being in a situation where someone made many accusations about me that were not only untrue, but completely miles far from the truth. My initial response was deep shock, as I could not believe what had just happened.

After the initial shock wore off and I recognized that what had happened was real, my shock turned to tears. My tears were my way of acknowledging the situation and not living in denial. This is a crucial step because you cannot begin the healing process without acknowledging the truth of what just occurred.

In these critical moments, it is okay to be upset, hurt, angry, or whatever other emotions you may feel. Remember that God will deal bountifully with your soul.

Emotions are natural and part of who we are, so it is okay to feel how you feel.

I am not about the business of telling you to act on those feelings but simply recognize how you feel in that moment.

This is where your healing journey will begin.

Step # 2 – Pray for Healing and Wisdom

James 5:13-20 English Standard Version

The Prayer of Faith

¹³ Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.^[a] 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and  he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. ¹⁸ Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

¹⁹ My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, ²⁰ let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

The next critical step is to pray.

You might say prayer should be first.

If you pray first, there is nothing wrong with that. However, sometimes the moment of hurt is so deep, intense, it becomes all too challenging to pray.

It’s like the boxer who get hits and is a little woozy. Before they can continue to defend themselves or to fight back, they must first gather themselves. Once you have gathered yourselves, then you can pray. Here are some things you need to accomplish in prayer.

• Get your feelings out
• Allow God to begin the healing process
• Seek wisdom on how to deal with the situation

The reason these things are critical is that even though you are hurt, you don’t want to stay hurt. Some people get hurt by the church and they never recover from it. That’s why your initial responses are vital because getting them wrong can have unbelievably devastating, unrecoverable, long-term consequences.

Step # 3 – Get Your Feelings Out… Don’t Keep Them In

Psalm 42 English Standard Version

Book Two

Why Are You Cast Down, O My Soul?

To the choirmaster. A Maskil^[a] of the Sons of Korah.

42 As a deer pants for flowing streams,
    so pants my soul for you, O God.
² My soul thirsts for God,
    for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?^[b]
3 My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember,
    as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng
    and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
    a multitude keeping festival.

⁵ Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
    my salvation^[c] 6 and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;
    therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
    from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
    have gone over me.
⁸ By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
    and at night his song is with me,
    a prayer to the God of my life.
⁹ I say to God, my rock:
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
    because of the oppression of the enemy?”
¹⁰ As with a deadly wound in my bones,
    my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
    my salvation and my God.

After you have gotten your feeling and emotions out to God in prayer, then it is time to get them out to someone else. I am not saying you turn on your camera and go blasting your entire life story on every available avenue of social media.

Not only is that unwise, but it will not allow you to heal in the way God requires.

It is best to speak with a trusted friend or counselor and let them know how you feel. The one you choose should be someone who can listen and not one who is going to respond emotionally. If you know that person is emotionally charged and their initial response is to get back, then choose someone else to talk to.

The point here is to first put the focus on you and how you are dealing with the situation. Not on those who hurt you. It is critically important for you to settle your emotions properly so that you can know how to move forward with God.

That’s why when someone has hurt you, before you deal with anyone else, the first person you must deal with is you. When you are hurt, it is possible that a seed of bitterness has been planted in your heart. If you don’t recognize it, you will give room for that seed of weeds to grow and establish a root in your heart.

This is where these things can go from bad to worse to unimaginably “nuclear.”

Step # 4 – Look for Support

Acts 9:26-27 English Standard Version

Saul in Jerusalem

²⁶ And when he had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples. And they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. ²⁷ But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles and declared to them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who spoke to him, and how at Damascus he had preached boldly in the name of Jesus.

As you begin the long journey towards healing, it is helpful to have someone supporting you through this process. The reason I say this is that at some point it will be necessary to address the transgressions with the ones who hurt you.

The purpose of support is not to build an army in your favor but to build a system of support with people who can help you sift through your emotions, your motives, and ensure you are doing okay. That means being okay in your walk with the Lord and being reconciled with those in the body – the church.

Step # 5 – Approach Those Who Hurt You

2 Corinthians 5:11-21 English Standard Version

The Ministry of Reconciliation

¹¹ Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience. ¹² We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. ¹³ For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. ¹⁴ For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; ¹⁵ and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

¹⁶ From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.^[a] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ¹⁸ All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; ¹⁹ that is, in Christ God was reconciling^[b] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.  ²⁰ Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. ²¹ For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

This step may be the most challenging.

With reconciliation in mind, now is when you confront the ones who have hurt you. This can be even more frightening if the ones who hurt you are people who are in positions of leadership. You may wonder, perhaps even obsess over, how to even approach them or if they will even be receptive to what you have to say.

Honestly, everyone may not receive, even utterly reject, what you have to say.

Some will deny it, reject it, and possibly even reject you. However, this step is necessary not just for their sake, but for yours. Because you are not sure how people will respond, that’s why this is not the first step in the process.

You need to turn to God, search out His Scriptures, address how you feel first, which helps you correctly, Godly, judiciously approach this with that right perspective and without unforgiving malice, anger, or venom in your heart.

There are different ways to approach and deal with the situation. You may go directly to the one who hurt you. Depending on what occurred and who they are, you may need to work through the elder board or leaders of the church. If you are not comfortable with a face-to-face meeting initially, then it is appropriate to use gracefully written communications, whether that is a letter or email.

Hopefully, prayerfully, this will lead to reconciliation, but even if it doesn’t, you still need to let them know. This is a critically vital part of your healing process and it will also help guide you back to God for what your next steps should be.

Step # 6 – Forgive

Matthew 18:21-35 English Standard Version

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

²¹ Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

²³ “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.^[a] 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.^[b] 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. ²⁶ So the servant^[c] fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ ²⁷ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. ²⁸ But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii,^[d] and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ ²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ ³⁰ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. ³¹ When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. ³² Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers,^[e] until he should pay all his debt. ³⁵ So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

You don’t know how the ones who hurt you will respond to you approaching them about it. In the best-case scenario, they will acknowledge how they hurt you and ask for forgiveness. Unfortunately, I and no one else can’t promise you that will be the case. There may not be a “Hollywood” ending to this scenario.

Regardless, your responsibility is to forgive them.

Remember that seed of bitterness that turns into a root I mentioned earlier?

Unforgiveness waters that seed and allows it to grow into a root. The longer unforgiveness stays wedged in your heart, the more work that is required to remove it. That’s why you must forgive. Not for their benefit, but for yours.

We have a friend who was very active in church. However, she had a situation where she was hurt badly by the church. Honestly, the situation was not good at all. In her case, the pain caused her to eventually walk away from the church and then we believe she even walked away from her relationship with Jesus.

I know the church represents Christ, but let’s be clear, the church is not Christ.

Don’t blame Christ for the actions of imperfect people. Jesus did not hurt you, they did. As difficult as it may be to do so, it is important for us to recognize this difference and separate them. If you don’t, this can cause you to be mad at God and blame him and curse Him for something he had nothing to do with.

That’s why you must forgive.

If not, then you give life to that hurt, it will permeate your life, and it will continue to hurt you repeatedly, harder and harder, throughout your life.

Step # 7 – Re-evaluate Your Relationship with That Church (Not All Churches)

Ecclesiastes 3:16-22 English Standard Version

From Dust to Dust

¹⁶ Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. ¹⁷ I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work. ¹⁸ I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. ¹⁹ For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity.^[a] 20 All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. ²¹ Who knows whether  the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth? ²² So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him?

If you have gone through these steps and even if you have forgiven, it will still be time to re-evaluate your relationship with that church or denomination.

While I believe all offenses can and should be forgiven, that does not mean it is always going to be possible to reconcile and restore all church relationships.

Sometimes the offense may be so egregious that while you forgive and still love those people, it may be time to seek other fields, find another place of worship.

Let me caution you should you deem it necessary to find a new church home.

Do your best not to judge every church based on your experience with that one.

I know this is difficult, but I have seen so many people write off every church because of their experience at one.

Hebrews 10:19-25 English Standard Version

The Full Assurance of Faith

¹⁹ Therefore, brothers,^[a] since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, ²⁰ by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, ²¹ and since we have a great priest over the house of God, ²² let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts  sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. ²³  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Through the hurt and the pain, God speaks directly, and has called us to be in abiding fellowship with each other. As the body of Christ, we need each other.

However, in this situation, it may mean you need to have an abiding fellowship with a different part of the body of Christ.

If you decide to leave that church, that does not mean you have been handed an unlimited amount of credit to talk badly about that church, the leadership, and even the experience you had there. If you do that, then it is likely you may have not forgiven and you are yet carrying around seeds of bitterness in your heart.

That’s why I began this process with dealing with your wayward emotions first.

One Final Thought … God Still Loves the World!

John 3:16-21English Standard Version

For God So Loved the World

¹⁶ “For God so loved the world,^[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. ¹⁸ Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. ¹⁹ And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. ²⁰ For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. ²¹ But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

If you are in a situation where the church has hurt you, I can feel your pain.

However, through the pain I want to encourage you to deal with the hurt letting God and His love go before you and guide you, move you forward in His grace.

Don’t let it linger and fester because that is not good for you. Make sure you address all your emotions and feelings first and then go back and deal with that situation. This will not undo what was done to you, but at least it will position you alongside God to heal so this hurt does not dominate the rest of your life.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

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