Taming Our Wayward Tongues: The Way We All Talk Tells Who We Are. James 3:10-12

James 3:1-12 New American Standard Bible 1995

The Tongue Is a Fire

Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a [a]stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in [b]what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our [c]life, and is set on fire by [d]hell. For every [e]species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human [f]race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both [g]fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce [h]fresh.

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

13 Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me;
Then I will be [a]blameless,
And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.
14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:13-14

Or at least we keep praying ….

The Psalmist here reveals that we have a high degree of personal awareness that we are each required by God to conduct our lives with godly wisdom and spiritual understanding, but the most unruly evil, which is incapable of being tamed, subdued by self-effort or rigorous training, is the taming of the tongue.

This little organ can produce the most beautiful blessings which give glory of God, while at the same time can pour forth the most un-sanctified filth and blasphemy which discredits His holy name – and these things ought not to be.

The very same mouth should not pour forth both sweet and bitter water, both blessings and curses and this is not only an admonition for the few, but a stern warning that is applicable in the public, private, revealed life of all believers.

An important key to godly speech is right thinking.

Godly words that reflect a biblical perspective are rooted in a mind that is stayed on Christ – gracious thoughts and purity of heart is a manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit in a life that is well governed by God and walking in spirit and truth.

The Way We Talk Tells Who We Are

James 3:7-12 The Message

7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?

It’s sad but true.

Some Christians do exactly what James says:

they praise their Lord and Father in church on Sunday, and then the next day, at home or on the job or on the road, they curse people.

Something goes wrong, and in an unguarded moment they let loose.

Someone in a hurry cuts in front of them on the highway, or someone makes a mistake, and some Christians use a stream of language that dishonors the Lord.

James says it should not be that way.

James notes that a spring does not yield both fresh and salty water, and a fig tree cannot bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs.

Similarly it is not fitting for a person who is connected with Christ through faith to use his or her tongue to curse others.

The way we talk tells who we are.

If we have truly praised God in worship, we may not possibly use our tongues to curse others.

We have to learn to control our tongues—not by our willpower or in our own strength. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit.

As we get ready to begin each new day, we should ask the Holy Spirit to guard our tongues.

Each one of us should learn to pray the prayer of Psalm 141:3: “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

May the Words of My Mouth, Meditations of My Heart

Psalm 19:11-14 The Message

11-14 There’s more: God’s Word warns us of danger
    and directs us to hidden treasure.
Otherwise how will we find our way?
    Or know when we play the fool?
Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
    Keep me from stupid sins,
    from thinking I can take over your work;
Then I can start this day sun-washed,
    scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.
These are the words in my mouth;
    these are what I chew on and pray.
Accept them when I place them
    on the morning altar,
O God, my Altar-Rock,
    God, Priest-of-My-Altar.

In the course of our lives we are confronted by unfairness, by unkindness, by disagreeable circumstances, and all too often by the most disagreeable people.

Before offering a verbal response in these situations, we would do well to recall this truth learned from our Lord: our words reflect our hearts (Matthew 12:34).

Matthew 12:34-37 The Message

34-37 “You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”

If our words are not Christlike, we must look first not to our mouths but to our hearts.

Equally, it is an indication of our Lord’s work within us when we respond to conflict and challenge with words that help rather than those that harm.

Our tongues contain immense power, and we may leverage them to help, to encourage, to affirm, to enrich, to reconcile, to forgive, to unite, to smooth, and to bless.

It is not by accident that so many of the Old Testament proverbs address the words we speak.

According to Solomon, “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life” (Proverbs 10:11).

He compares this use of words to lovely earrings that adorn the beauty of the wearer and to beautiful ornaments that enhance the loveliness of a home (Proverbs 25:11-12).

Proverbs 25:12 The Message

11-12 The right word at the right time
    is like a custom-made piece of jewelry,
And a wise friend’s timely reprimand
    is like a gold ring slipped on your finger.

Perhaps his most classic statement about the power of speech is his observation that “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (v 11).

What is it that makes for such life-giving language?

How can our mouths be those that bring blessing to others?

Words of blessing are marked by honesty, by “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Ephesians 4:14-16 The Message

14-16 No prolonged infancies among us, please. We’ll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are easy prey for predators. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love.

They are thoughtful, spoken by one who “ponders how to answer” (Proverbs 15:28).

Proverbs 15:28The Message

28 Prayerful answers come from God-loyal people;
    the wicked are sewers of abuse.

They are often few and marked by reason: “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding” (17:27).

Proverbs 17:27The Message

27 The one who knows much says little;
    an understanding person remains calm.

And, of course, helpful words will be gentle words. Though it may be hard to remember in the throes of difficult circumstances, it remains true that “a soft answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1).

Proverbs 15:1 The Message

God Doesn’t Miss a Thing

15 A gentle response defuses anger,
    but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.

Indeed, a gentle response wells up from moral strength.

It takes far more self-control to respond in gentleness than to give way to unbridled passion and anger.

What will mark your words?

Will you commit yourself to using your tongue—that small but immensely powerful member of your body—to wash rather than muddy, to bless rather than curse, to give life rather than tear it down, and to help rather than harm?

Resolve today to use your words for the good of those with whom you interact, honoring Christ in your heart and letting His sweet aroma fill your speech.

Then humbly acknowledge that you cannot do this yourself (James 3:8), and ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit—Holy Spirit who grows peace, gentleness, and self-control both inside your heart and in your speech (Galatians 5:22-23).

Humility, grace, peace, and love are the precious spiritual fruit that should be evident in the life of all God’s children who have gained wisdom and been given godly understanding.

The Lord Jesus Himself was the embodiment of all holy wisdom, and the personification of godly humility.

The Lord Jesus was the one Who, throughout His earthly life, demonstrated how all humanity was originally designed to live, and He remains the perfect example of a Man with godly wisdom and gracious understanding for He was meek and lowly of heart, and in Him we find rest for our soul.

As children of God, we are called to live as Christ lived.

We are instructed to live circumspect lives that glorify our Father in heaven, and so we are asked: “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.” 

If we are to live the sort of life that God intends, where good behavior and godly deeds reflect the gentleness and wisdom of God, the old self must remain nailed to the Cross so the life of Christ may live in and through us, to His praise, glory.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Ley us Pray,

Father in heaven, help us to use the gift of speech to praise your name. Holy Spirit, empower us to use our tongues only in praise and honor of you. Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus’ example of how to live on earth to Your praise and glory. I pray that I would not act hypocritically, praising God in one breath and cursing Him in another, but I pray I would reflect the Lord Jesus, speaking always in spirit and in truth with all wisdom and understanding. This I ask in Jesus’ name, AMEN

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Our Kingdom Presence: Cultivating a Honeycomb of Humble and Gracious, Encouraging Words. Proverbs 16:24 

Proverbs 16:24 English Standard Version

24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
    sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

It’s true.

People are drawn to those who speak to them and about them kindly.

Speaking to others in a kind manner is a characteristic that we don’t come in contact with today like we use to.

IT TAKES VERY LITTLE COURAGE TO CLICK SEND.

In the past when anyone wanted to speak poorly about someone, they did it behind their back (still a terrible thing to do) but today, in this age of the smart phone and the internet, people get to “hide behind” their computer screens and phones and we get a whole lot more wild, bold with how we respond to others.

You don’t even have to share your name.

You can send something “anonymously” and hide your computers address.

If one was inclined, they can just be blatantly mean and remain anonymous.

SWEETNESS TO THE SOUL

I think today, more than ever before, it’s incredibly refreshing to hear kind and gracious words – such rare words have a huge impact on our mind and our body.

Like the verse says in Proverbs 16:24

Proverbs 16:24 King James Version

2Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

I know how much my soul grieves, I know that I have felt sick to my stomach for days when someone has been downright mean toward me and I have felt a renewed sense of joy and energy when I hear true encouragement and praise.

Words affect our entire being. And they can remain a part of our souls makeup for the rest of our lives. I can remember as a child things I was told, both good and bad, and even today I really have to battle all the lies to embrace the truth.

I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED AS KIND AND LOVING

As one who is getting more mature in their years, if I leave one Kingdom legacy, I believe I would want it to be that I left others feeling good about themselves.

Not because I lied to to be politically correct, to over inflate their egos, to butter them up or with man’s wisdom made things up to baby them into feeling good.

But because I truly found the good in someone and left them feeling like I saw that piece of them and treated them in a way that they felt loved and respected.

Even when I have to share something negative, I want to turn to God, I want to strive to do it in a way that is gracious and kind – I want to turn them onto God.

There really are ways to give constructive criticism, to not be so blunt and so disrespectful, both in our every day lives and our social media lives. There are real people on the other side of that screen, who feel hurt, pain, joy, and love.

CHOOSE TO SPEAK LIFE

We each have the power to speak life and/or death into those around us.

We each can make a person feel either incredibly small or incredibly loved.

We need to be more careful with our words.

With our friends, with strangers, and for sure with our families- the ones who sometimes get the brunt of our frustrations.

So, in these days of 2024, stand out from the crowd – please have the courage to be kind – have some courage to speak life into those we come into contact with.

CULTIVATING A HONEYCOMB OF GRACIOUS WORDS

Proverbs 16:24 Amplified Bible

24 
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
Sweet and
 delightful to the soul and healing to the body.

What words are you putting out into the world?

Are we choosing our words thoughtfully, are we taking every opportunity to be Kingdom builders, Kingdom edifiers, speaking to encourage and uplift others?

our words “adding honey” sweetening the lives of those who hear, read them?

Or, are we following the Social Media trend to be anonymous, speak your mind, speak truth to set someone straight, or put another in his or her rightful place?

Maybe you try to be encouraging but others just push your buttons to the point where you feel like you have to say something, anything or you’ll simply burst!

It’s so easy in heated moments of conflict to get caught up in the latest political, social, fashion, or celebrity debate, say things you’ll wish later you hadn’t said.

So if you and/or I have slipped up in our words a few times, we are not alone.

James 3:2 describes how, “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.”

Still, Scripture reminds that,

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26).

Maybe we have been surprised by things we have heard or have read by other Christians and perhaps even our own words at times have caught us off guard?

Proverbs 13:3 gives incentive for choosing to be careful with your words, describing the difference it can make in your life to do so, stating,

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.”

If you struggle with speaking careless words, ask God to, “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3).

As well, Psalm 34:13 urges to

“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.”

When you do, Proverbs 12:14 encourages that from the fruit of your lips you will be filled with good things.

Proverbs 12:14Easy-to-Read Version

14 People get good things for the words they say, and they are rewarded for the work they do.

Likewise, Proverbs 16:23 describes how, “The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.”

Speak truth, Speak of God, Speak Jesus, Speak Holy Spirit, ask God to direct your speech so that your words are helping to build up the faith of those around you.

As Colossians 3:16 urges, “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

What is the object lesson of Proverbs 16 24?

As Proverbs 16:24 tells us, pleasant words are like a honeycomb, bringing sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

We want to be known for the fruit of our gentleness and for the fruit of our compassion and be using our words to uplift and encourage those around us.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Psalm 34:1-10 The Message

34 I bless God every chance I get;
my lungs expand with his praise.

I live and breathe God;
if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy:

Join me in spreading the news;
together let’s get the word out.

God met me more than halfway,
he freed me from my anxious fears.

Look at him; give him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from him.

When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot.

God’s angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray.

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
    how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him.

Worship God if you want the best;
worship opens doors to all his goodness.

10 Young lions on the prowl get hungry,
but God-seekers are full of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

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