Tag: family

Who is My Family? These are my mother and brothers. Obedience is thicker than blood. The person who obeys my heavenly Father’s will are my brother, my sister, and mother. Matthew 12:46-50

Matthew 12:46-50 New Revised Standard Version

The True Kindred of Jesus

46 While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’[a] 48  But to the one who had told him this, Jesus[b] replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ 49 And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’

Word of God for the Children of God

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

Can I begin to imagine this scene? Jesus’ beloved family comes by as he is preaching. Here He seizes the chance to widen that fortunate group.

He is not callously denying or ignoring family ties, but is instead, extending them into the Kingdom of God with a gesture that is like an ordination. When he points to the group of disciples, can I imagine that I am standing among them?

What is there to reflect on, to meditate over, pray to the Holy Spirit for clarity?

Reflection:

Belonging to God is basic relationship, prior to all human relations. We came from God before we came from father and mother. (Psalm 139:13-18)

Psalm 139:13-18 Revised Standard Version

13 For thou didst form my inward parts,
    thou didst knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise thee, for thou art fearful and wonderful.[a]
    Wonderful are thy works!
Thou knowest me right well;
15     my frame was not hidden from thee,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately wrought in the depths of the earth.
16 Thy eyes beheld my unformed substance;
    in thy book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are thy thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    When I awake, I am still with thee.[b]

Still there are times during our journey of life when family goes second to God.

How would Mary have taken this statement?

Was she being diminished?

Her faith was deep and was strong enough to know her spiritual relationship to her Son was stronger even that the human mother-son relationship.

Reflection:

The relationship we have with Jesus is founded on something deeper than even the deepest human relationships of family.

We are the family of God and are brother and sister to Jesus when we try to do God’s will and to make God’s kingdom come.

Prayer deepens our appreciation of the values of the kingdom of God: justice, holiness, peace, compassion, faith, and love – all central to the life of Jesus.

Reflection:

I wonder what did his mother and family want to speak to him about?

The evidence is they were coming from home to take him back home. Jesus, with his radical teaching, and challenging religious views, was becoming an embarrassment if not a danger to his family.

Jesus’ way of life would lead him into opposition with those closest to him, his family.

Reflection:

Jesus counts me among his closest, his next-of-kin.

I show that this is my identity as I do the will of God.

When you hear the word family, what usually comes to mind?

Where I grew up, a family was generally made up of a husband and wife and their biological children.

Some families also had adopted children. Some couples did not have children, and some parents were separated or divorced. But the most common family in that time and culture was the nuclear family. In the Bible and in today’s world, though, it’s less common to find families fitting that biblical description.

When Jesus’ family tried to get a message to him as crowds gathered around him, he saw an opportunity for a teaching moment and said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Jesus was helping his followers to describe a new kind of family, a community bound by something more powerful than the blood in our veins.

This is not a rejection of the biological family. It’s an invitation to a bigger, richer family—the family of God, with whom we live in the kingdom of God.

By this narrative text you and I are invited to meet family members in your own community/neighborhoods where you work and live, in my biological family, and in other family groups that are too often a hidden or invisible part of life.

May God’s Holy Spirit work in us all to recognize the beautiful gift of his family in the relationships and communities we are a part of—no matter how different or diverse they might be.

Reflection

I pray that I may do the will of God with joy and courage, perhaps praying the ‘Our Father’ as I now ask that God’s will be done in this world as it is in heaven.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Praying …

Psalm 103:11-18 Revised Standard Version

11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father pities his children,
    so the Lord pities those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting
    upon those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children’s children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

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Today’s Prayer: Hardcore Acceptance or Hardcore Rejection: For those who are living among us and “dealing” with family rejection. Psalm 27:7-10 

Psalm 27:7-10 Easy-to-Read Version

7 Lord, hear my voice.
    Be kind and answer me.
8 My heart told me to come to you, Lord,
    so I am coming to ask for your help.
9 Don’t turn away from me.
    Don’t be angry with your servant.
    You are the only one who can help me.
My God, don’t leave me all alone.
    You are my Savior.
10 Even if my mother and father leave me,
    the Lord will take me in.

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

When My Father and Mother Forsake Me …

Psalm 27 includes a verse that begs us to look closer.

David declares, “When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.”

He doesn’t say, “If my father and mother forsake me,” he says, “when.” This is something that David knows about.

Having a parent forsake you is one of the most hurtful situations a child can experience.

Some are blessed with great parents.

But then again, for reasons and rationale known but to God alone, too many are not blessed with great parents, these children experienced complicated family situations first-hand. For the very coldest of all of them, a mother or father had called long distance to let him know that they never wanted to see them again.

I know of a couple of families where the parent’s texted their children in school to tell them they would need to find somewhere else to live because they could not, would not, will not at any future time be able to care for them any longer.

Those children ended up living out their school years on the streets, in drug houses and essentially homeless. Eventually they both ended up in prison cells.

They only remember their Thanksgiving and Christmas days living in squalor or behind prison bars – abandoned, forsaken, forgotten, destitute, hating God.

The Psalm writer David knew something about hardcore family rejection.

After he had been anointed king by Samuel, but was not actually the king, things got a exceptionally thorny, even life threatening pretty quickly.

King Saul had no intention of giving up his crown to a boy and was becoming murderously unstable. David was married to the king’s daughter and bff’s with his son, but that didn’t keep King Saul from failing in his family responsibilities and with sword, chasing him around the country with intentions of killing him.

During this time, it was not only David’s life that was in danger, his family was now facing a very real threat to their own safety.

In 1 Samuel 22, they packed up and left Bethlehem to be with David.

Verse two, “And everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontent gathered to him.”

This was definitely not what they envisioned about hospitality and family !

By verse three David had asked the king of Moab if his parents could stay there.

Jewish life completely revolved around their family and community.

Their land was passed down from generation to generation. Jewish families would never have abandoned their family land if they had any choice at all.

Moving to Moab (historically Israel’s enemy) must have been devastating for David’s mom and dad.

We don’t hear of David’s parents again.

We might assume that they died in this foreign land where everything was unfamiliar and hard.

We might also assume, based on Psalm 27, that they let David know that they blamed him for their situation.

Whatever was said, he felt their disapproval acutely.

You may also have a complicated relationship with one or both of your parents.

It’s hard. It may be something that you have tried to overcome your entire life.

If that is the case, let David’s words bring you some comfort. “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.” Then the Lord will.

I don’t say this flippantly at all, but in such times let the Lord take care of you.

So often we experience deep, deep hurt and we never heal from it because we hold it tight, even find our identity in it, and never let it go enough to let Jesus bind up our wounds, heal broken hearts. You have to choose to let Him heal you.

We may never have lifelong congenial relationships with our parents. Reality may be the depth of the betraying situation is echelons beyond unrecoverable.

Letting go of the immensity of our hurt won’t be easy. But with an effort, it will require prayer and Godly council from spiritually strong people who understand what they’ve experienced. If we have empathy, courage to give our hurt to God, as David did, we will find that He takes better care of us than we can imagine.

Does The Faithful, Perfect Father really Exist for me?

Psalm 68:4-6 Easy-to-Read Version

4 Sing to God! Sing praises to his name!
    Prepare the way for the one who rides on the clouds.
His name is Yah.[a]
    Worship before him with joy.
5 God, who lives in his holy palace, is a father to orphans,
    and he takes care of widows.
6 God provides homes for those who are lonely.
    He frees people from prison and makes them happy.
    But those who turn against him will live in the desert.

Unfortunately, not everyone has had a positive experience with their father.

Deadbeat dads walk out on their families, offering only neglect instead of care.

Some children have never met their fathers.

Or, worse, some wish they had never met them.

Sadly, our world is plagued with poor examples of fathers, men who abandon, neglect, or abuse their families.

Your own bad experience may make it difficult to accept God as your heavenly Father.

But God’s faithfulness far exceeds that of even the best parents.

Even if our father and mother forsake us, the Lord will not.

Our Father God is the perfect Father. He fills a painful vacuum of love for all whose earthly fathers have forsaken them.

God’s intention in calling himself Father is to reveal his heart’s desire to have a real relationship with you, his child. He loves you in a way that no human has ever loved you, with ferocity and faithfulness that no human love can match.

If your own father has failed you, then you need, more than most, the faithful Father in your life.

Do not reject the vivid image of God as your Father because your own father failed to live up to his calling.

No one should be abandoned, neglected, or abused. We all need the authentic unconditional love and affirmation of the perfect Father.

If God is in us … We can be a model of fatherhood, more like God the Father …

https://fathers.com/ might just be a good place to start being more like God.

Our Father who art in Heaven … Hallowed be THY name … thy kingdom come thy will be done … on earth as it is in heaven … give us this day our daily bread.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Father, thank you for calling us your own children and welcoming us into your life and into your family. Replace the pain of our bro-ken relationships with the joy of your love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Psalm 133 Easy-to-Read Version

A song of David for going up to the Temple.

133 Oh, how wonderful, how pleasing it is
    when God’s people all come together as one[a]!
2 It is like the sweet-smelling oil that is poured over the high priest’s[b] head,
    that runs down his beard flowing over his robes.
3 It is like a gentle rain[c] from Mount Hermon falling on Mount Zion.
    It is there that the Lord has promised his blessing of eternal life.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

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Our families are a circle of strength founded on faith, joined in love kept by God forever. Genesis 2:21-24

Genesis 2:21-24 Authorized (King James) Version

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 and the rib, which the Lord  God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

In Genesis 2:21-24 we find a close-up of the first wedding ever celebrated.

It took place in Paradise at the beginning of history, and it was one of the most impressive events ever.

The setting was more beautiful than at any other wedding.

The first bride and groom, Adam and Eve, were surrounded by the unstained, breathtaking beauty of God’s creation.

No modern-day florist or outdoor photographer could begin to capture the beauty of that setting.

Most impressive about that first wedding, though, was that God himself conducted the ceremony:

“the LORD God made a woman … and he brought her to the man.” This is the Bible’s way of telling us that marriage is from God, established as a creation ordinance. Marriage was not invented by a human being; it was instituted by God when he created us “male and female” (Genesis 1:27) and brought Adam and Eve together.

Marriage, then, is sacred.

All who marry receive a special gift from God’s own hands.

And because marriage is from God, we need to listen carefully to God’s expectations for marriage.

Many people see the outcome of their marriage as a toss-up.

Some see their marriage as a reason, as an opportunity, to start a reality television show to gain their fame and fortune and celebrity recognition.

Then to protect themselves and their individual estates, they sign complicated prenuptial agreements spelling out in greatest legalese, detailing their assets.

Consider that the wisest of the wise Kings Solomon had 600 wives and 300 concubines – and while God clearly held greatest relevance to Solomon in the beginning of his reign, by the time his reign concluded – it was a marital mess.

Who really knows if love truly exists in those relationships?

Who knows if God is even .01% relevant in that relationship?

But marriage has the God-given potential to be a powerful source of blessings, unity to all who choose to follow the instructions of the One who ordained it.

What Is God’s Purpose for Our Family?

Families. We all have one, whether it’s a biological family or an adopted family.

Families change when babies are born or adopted, and when marriages and deaths occur.

When one gets married, it’s normal to accept their spouse’s family as their own.

And there are times when, after the death of a spouse, the widow or widower maintains familial relationships with the family of their deceased spouse.

If one re-marries, the family increases.

Family is an important concept in the Bible.

God instituted family when He created Eve as a helpmeet for Adam.

The rest of the Bible speaks of family in its various roles, and most important is the church as God’s family.

What Does the Bible Say about Family?

The Bible defines the family as do we – those of the same household, that being the pairing of a husband (man) and wife (woman), along with their children.

Because God created the family, He is intimately involved with each one. 

Scripture is our great instructor of monogamy—the lifetime union of one man and one woman in marriage as the foundation of the family (Genesis 2:21-24).

Throughout the Bible, the institution of family as the model God created it to be is prevalent; all other relationships are to stem from the family, God’s building block of society. 

If we regard the Ten Commandments, we see the first four of them concern our relationship to and with God, the other 6 speak to our relationship with others.

Three are directly related to the family.

The fifth commandment says to honor one’s father and mother (the family foundation) (Exodus 20:12).

The seventh commandment says, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14), thus preserving the sacred nature of the family.

The tenth commandment, “you shall not covet,” (Exodus 20:17) speaks to God’s command for fidelity of heart. For within a family, it is not good nor godly to covet what others have, including a different family.

Jesus said in Matthew 15:19, “out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”

Actions proceed from the heart’s intent, and God is all about preserving the family as He created it. He therefore gets the glory (Ephesians 3:14-21).

The New Testament includes historical narratives and epistles which include instruction (and reiterations from the Old Testament and Jesus’ teachings) as to what the family is to be according to God.

Paul spoke to them when he said, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1) and “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20).

Why Is Family So Important in the Bible?

God uses families throughout history to enact His will.

The promise God made to Abraham in Genesis 15:5 involves family.

“‘Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.’ Then He said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’”

A later unfolding of the Abrahamic Covenant reveals more details as God tells Abraham He has made him “the father of a multitude of nations…I will make you into nations, and kings shall come from you.”

God established His everlasting covenant with Abraham and his progeny (Genesis 17:4-7). Thus began a family too large to number.

And within the family of Abraham, offshoots came.

The most significant is the progression of families which led to the birth of Jesus Christ, Savior of the world.

We can trace His genealogy at Matthew 1:1-17 (a possible trace of Joseph’s side of the family) and Luke 3:23-38 (a possible trace of Mary’s side of the family).

Not an insignificant aside is God used all sorts of people, including a Moabite woman (Ruth in Ruth 4:18-22), a prostitute (Rahab in Joshua 6:23-25 and Matthew 1:5), and an adulteress (Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 12:24).

The point is God shows no partiality, and He will use families for His purposes in His perfect timing (Isaiah 55:8; Acts 10:34; Romans 2;11; Galatians 4:4).

Who Is Our Family, according to the Bible?

Mark 3:31-35 Authorized (King James) Version

31 There came then his brethren and his mother, and, standing without, sent unto him, calling him. 32 And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee. 33 And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? 34 And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 35 For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.

Is our family only biological?

Happily, no.

As Christians, we gain a two-fold family life when we accept and proclaim Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

In one sense, we do have biological families (those who belong to us in the way God intended), for example mother, father, and siblings.

In a second sense, as people belonging to Jesus, we have been adopted into the family of God (Romans 8:16-17).

Christians who have been adopted by other families here on earth are part of a three-fold family (biological, adopted, and God’s family). 

We can consider the family as a model for who we (as believers) are as God’s children. Each Christian is a child of God (Romans 8:16; 1 John 3:1).

And, according to God’s design, we each have a father, mother, and siblings (usually).

Each part of a person’s biological family is to act as God has mandated in His word.

And each spouse is to be one with the other (Matthew 19:5), just as we are one in Christ (Galatians 3:28). 

As far as the three possibilities, only one will endure forever, and that is the family of God.

We are indeed to love our biological family, yet we will spend eternity worshiping the Lord with our church family (which may indeed include members of our biological families).

Jesus, in Matthew 10:37, “Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and whoever loves son and daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (See also Matthew 12:50; Luke 14:26).

What Is God’s Purpose for the Family?

The Lord spelled out His reason for a family in Genesis 1:28 when He said,

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Families are to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth, just as God said would happen to Abraham’s family.

God uses each one born to continue that process through the means of families. 

In the end, however, each family member’s purpose is to,

“Fear God and keep His commandments” (Ecclesiastes 12:13); God’s ultimate purpose for us is to bring Him the glory He so rightfully deserves.

We are to seek His kingdom 1st as individuals, teach our families to do the same.

We are, as families, to grow in Christ and be witnesses to the world.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

we stand united in Christ to worship Him and enact His will, edify His Kingdom.

Yes, we are all born into a family.

Yet what matters, in the end, is to have been born again into the family of God (John 3:3).

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Psalm 45 Complete Jewish Bible

45 (0) For the leader. Set to “Lilies.” By the descendants of Korach. A maskil. A lovesong:

2 (1) My heart is stirred by a noble theme;
I address my verses to the king;
My tongue is the pen of an expert scribe.

3 (2) You are the most handsome of men;
gracious speech flows from your lips.
For God has blessed you forever.
4 (3) Warrior, strap your sword at your thigh;
[gird on] your splendor and majesty.
5 (4) In your majesty, succeed, ride on
in the cause of truth, meekness and righteousness.
May your right hand teach you awesome things.
6 (5) Your arrows are sharp. The people fall under you,
as they penetrate the hearts of the king’s enemies.
7 (6) Your throne, God, will last forever and ever;
you rule your kingdom with a scepter of equity.
8 (7) You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.
Therefore God, your God, has anointed you
with the oil of joy in preference to your companions.
9 (8) Your robes are all fragrant with myrrh, aloes and cassia;
from ivory palaces stringed instruments bring you joy.
10 (9) Daughters of kings are among your favorites;
at your right stands the queen in gold from Ofir.

11 (10) Listen, daughter! Think, pay attention!
Forget your own people and your father’s house,
12 (11) and the king will desire your beauty;
for he is your lord, so honor him.
13 (12) Then the daughter of Tzor, the richest of peoples,
will court your favor with gifts.

14 (13) Inside [the palace], the king’s daughter looks splendid,
attired in checker-work embroidered with gold.
15 (14) In brocade, she will be led to the king,
to you, with the virgins in her retinue.
16 (15) They will be led in with gladness and joy,
they will enter the king’s palace.
17 (16) You will have sons to succeed your ancestors;
you will make them princes in all the land.
18 (17) I will make your name known through all generations;
thus the peoples will praise you forever and ever.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

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Ask for Anything You Wish! A Prayer, Praying, to Encourage those Fathers Who Feel Like Failures. John 15:5-10

John 15:5-10 Amplified Bible

5 [a]I am the Vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him bears much fruit, for [otherwise] apart from Me [that is, cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken off] branch, and withers and dies; and they gather such branches and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you remain in Me and My words remain in you [that is, if we are vitally united and My message lives in your heart], ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. 8 My Father is glorified and honored by this, when you bear much fruit, and prove yourselves to be My [true] disciples. 9 I have loved you just as the Father has loved Me; remain in My love [and do not doubt My love for you]. 10 If you keep My commandments and obey My teaching, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

Happy Father’s Day 2024: Father is the backbone of the family who plays a significant role. He sacrifices his everything in the upbringing of their children and other members of the family. To provide him honor, let’s celebrate Father’s Day to make the incredible man feel special. It is a special occasion dedicated only to the father, whether he is a father figure, grandfather, or the stepfather.

Father’s Day is celebrated all over the world to show extreme love and care for the father’s efforts and support.

In 2024, Father’s Day will be celebrated on 16th June 2024 and of course, it is the best time to show appreciation to the father.

If you are looking for a moment to show your inner feelings to your father, it is the most recommended day when you can open your heart and explain how you feel about having your father in your life. So, try to make that honest effort to plan your whole day to celebrate Father’s Day with your father, loving family.

Unless, of course …

When You Feel Like You Are Failing Your Children As A Father? Here’s Why It is Probably Not True.

John 15:9-10 The Message

9-10 “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.

Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it’s not uncommon to feel like you’re failing as a father at times.

The pressure to be the perfect parent can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to compare yourself to other fathers and feel like you’re not measuring up.

But the truth is, no one is a perfect parent, and the most important thing is that you love and care for your children.

In this devotional effort, we will explore the common challenges fathers face, the misconceptions about parental failure, and suggest practical strategies to overcoming those feelings you may now be experiencing of failing as a father.

What are You Understanding about Parental Failure? Separating Fact from Fiction.

Many fathers who feel like they are failing may not actually be experiencing parental failure.

Parental failure refers to situations where a parent causes significant trauma, neglect, or harm to their child through their actions or behavior.

This can include abuse, neglect, abandonment, or involvement in harmful behaviors such as substance abuse or violence. It’s important to differentiate between experiencing a rough patch in parenting and actual parental failure.

When fathers feel like they are failing, it is often due to temporary challenges and stressful situations.

Parenting is a demanding and complex role, and it is normal to struggle and make mistakes along the way.

It’s crucial to recognize that these struggles are part of the journey and not indicative of parental failure.

Fatherhood and Its Challenges

Acknowledge that managing the day to day the role of Fatherhood is a significant aspect of family life, and it comes with its own set of challenges.

For some men, the responsibilities of being a father can exacerbate underlying anger issues, leading to a stressful relationship dynamic within the family.

The day to day pressure to provide, protect, and be a role model can sometimes lead to wide feelings of inadequacy and frustration, especially when faced with unexpected difficulties.

It’s so very important to acknowledge that fatherhood isn’t always portrayed accurately in the media, and societal expectations can contribute to a sense of acute, chronic failure when reality doesn’t align with these idealized depictions.

Understanding and addressing these challenges is crucial in separating fact from fiction when it comes to parental failure.

Seeking support, whether through therapy, counseling, or support groups, or clergy can be instrumental in navigating the complexities of fatherhood and addressing any underlying anger issues that may impact family dynamics.

Fatherhood Struggles Are Normal

Feeling like you’re failing as a father is a common experience shared by many men.

The responsibilities of parenting can be overwhelming, and it’s natural to face challenges and difficulties.

From maintaining patience during disciplining to feeling like you have little control over your child’s behavior, these struggles are completely normal.

As a new parent, it’s especially common to feel uncertain and inexperienced.

It takes time to adjust to the responsibilities and demands of parenthood.

Remember that every parent has moments of self-doubt and feels like they could have done something better. It’s important to give yourself grace and mercy and forgiveness and acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can.

The Fear of Parental Failure

The fear of parental failure often stems from our own childhood experiences and the desire to be better parents than our own.

We may have set high expectations for ourselves and fear disappointing others and ourselves.

However, it’s crucial to recognize that parenting is a learning process, and it’s okay to make mistakes, sometimes even grievous mistakes have their purpose.

Instead of dwelling, obsessing, on the fear of failure, focus on personal growth and improvement.

Self-criticism can also contribute to the feeling of failing as a parent.

It’s important to have self-compassion and empathy towards yourself as a parent. Remember that you are human and prone to making mistakes.

Instead of being overly critical, focus on the grace of God, finding opportunities for bible study with other fathers, growth and learning from your experiences.

How to Overcome the Feeling of Failing as a Father

John 15:9-10 The Message

9-10 “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.

  1. Recognize and Reframe: Instead of viewing yourself as a failure, reframe your thoughts to acknowledge that you’re struggling. Recognize that parenting is challenging, and it’s normal to have difficult moments. Reframe your mindset to focus on growth and improvement rather than dwelling on perceived failures.
  2. Identify Areas for Improvement: Take the time to identify specific areas of your parenting that you would like to work on. This could include managing frustration, improving communication, setting boundaries, or practicing patience. Jot down these areas and reflect on why they are important to you.
  3. Prepare for Change: Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, create a game plan for how you will address them. Consider specific strategies or techniques that you can implement in challenging situations. Having a plan in place will help you stay focused and better equipped to handle difficult moments.
  4. Take Purposeful Action: Commit to actively working on the strategies you’ve identified. Remember that change takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Consistency is key in implementing positive changes in your parenting approach.
  5. Apologize When Necessary: It’s important to model empathy and taking responsibility for our actions. If you make a mistake, don’t hesitate to apologize to your child. This teaches them valuable lessons about forgiveness, conflict resolution, and making amends. Apologizing shows that you are human and willing to learn from your mistakes.
  6. Reflect on Your Own Experiences: Be mindful of your own childhood experiences and how they may influence your parenting. Recognize any negative patterns or tendencies that you may have adopted and work towards breaking those cycles. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide valuable support in processing past traumas and improving self-worth.
  7. Practice Self-Care: Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for being a present and effective parent. Prioritize self-care activities that help you manage stress and improve your mood. This could include exercise, hobbies, spending time with friends, or seeking professional support when needed.
  8. Set Boundaries: Recognize when you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to establish boundaries. It’s okay to ask for help and delegate responsibilities when necessary. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a better parent and role model for your children.
  9. Focus on the Positive: Instead of dwelling on perceived failures, shift your focus to the positive aspects of your parenting. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that being present and showing love to your children is what truly matters.
  10. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it. Connect with other fathers who may be experiencing similar challenges. Join parenting groups or seek professional guidance from therapists or counselors specializing in family dynamics. Remember, you are not alone in your parenting journey.

A Prayer to Encourage Fathers Who Feel Like Failures 

Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

In today’s internet and technology driven culture, many careers require employees to be on the job for more than 40 hours a week, taking more and more time away from men who want to spend time with their families.

As well, the vast array of economic challenges, rising interest rates, the rising consumer costs, mortgages are keeping a family’s breadwinner from being able to cut back hours, working as much as possible just to keep ahead of inflation.

Sadly, the pressure from employers, along with an escalating economy, causes fathers who long to be present and involved in their kids’ lives to put time with their families on the back burner, stress out, and keep focusing on keeping their households afloat with housing, health insurance, clothes, food, and more.

But in in the day to day management of house and home, providing for their families, fathers are missing out on valuable time with their kids, losing vast measures of time being involved in their lives in a personal way, knowing what their kids are thinking and doing, and what’s spiritually going on in their lives.

Feelings of Fatherhood Failure

All of the above can make a father feel like a failure in their children’s lives.

Add to it the number of broken families, where fathers or mothers don’t live in the same home with their kids and have marriage issues coupled with limited time to spend and connect together with them the sense of failure increases.

As well, recall that the enemy of our souls prowls around every corner works double hard to the convince kids that their fathers don’t really love them, don’t really want to spend time with them, and just don’t care enough to be around.

Likewise, he also works triple hard to convince dads their kids don’t want them around or need them, together, causing some fathers to walk away completely.

What’s A Father to Do?

God understands fatherhood.

Even though He is the perfect, flawless Father, He’s experienced the hardcore sorrow that comes with having children who greatly struggle with believing He truly loves and cares for them unconditionally.

The Gospel story of the prodigal son offers fathers three steps in restoring relationships with children who have rejected them, turned away from them.

Luke 15:11-32 Amplified Bible

The Prodigal Son

11 Then He said, “A certain man had two sons. 12 The younger of them [inappropriately] said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that falls to me.’ So he divided the estate between them. 13 A few days later, the younger son gathered together everything [that he had] and traveled to a distant country, and there he wasted his fortune in reckless and immoral living. 14 Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to do without and be in need. 15 So he went and forced himself on one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to [a]feed pigs. 16 He would have gladly eaten the [carob] pods that the pigs were eating [but they could not satisfy his hunger], and no one was giving anything to him. 17 But when he [finally] came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough food, while I am dying here of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; [just] treat me like one of your hired men.”’  20  So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.  21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe [for the guest of honor] and put it on him; and give him a [b] ring for his hand, and sandals for his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let us [invite everyone and] feast and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was [as good as] dead and is alive again; he was lost and has been found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his older son was in the field; and when he returned and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he summoned one of the servants and began asking what this [celebration] meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But the elder brother became angry and deeply resentful and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. 29 But he said to his father, ‘Look! These many years I have served you, and I have never neglected or disobeyed your command. Yet you have never given me [so much as] a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; 30 but when this [other] son of yours arrived, who has devoured your estate with immoral women, you slaughtered that fattened calf for him!’ 31 The father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But it was fitting to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was [as good as] dead and has begun to live. He was lost and has been found.’”

1. Love your children unconditionally.

In the story of the prodigal son, fathers can learn how to love their children unconditionally, even when their kids seem to reject them and want nothing to do with them.

Luke 15:11-12 tells of a father who had two sons. “The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.”

Still, after losing everything, he returned to his father, who greeted him with open arms. “So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to this son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).

2. Entrust your children to God.

The father in the prodigal son’s story released his son to God’s care and discipline, entrusting Him to speak into his heart and lead him back to him.

Even though the father didn’t want his son to leave, he didn’t force him to stay by withholding inheritance or by some other form of control or manipulation.

Although it must have been heartbreaking for the father to let him go, he trusted God to be with and deal with his son.

3. Forgive your children freely, even if others disagree.

As the story goes, the son spent all his inheritance and returned to his father broken and repentant. When he did, his brother, who had stayed at home, didn’t think it was fair and disagreed with his father’s forgiving heart.

But the father didn’t waiver in his forgiveness for his wayward son. “My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours, but we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found’” (Luke 15:31-32).

Before Assigning Yourself as failure; First Foremost

The standards of success and failure as a father are set by God, the Father alone.

Matthew 6:33-34 Amplified Bible

But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also. 34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Dear Father,
We ask You to speak to fathers’ hearts today who are feeling like failures. Forgive them for the ways they may have let You and their children down. Guard their hearts from the heaviness of regret. Soften their hearts to receive Your forgiveness and to freely offer forgiveness to their children who may have rejected and hurt them in return. Bring forgiveness and compassion, too, oh Lord, to the hearts of their children, who may have felt unloved and abandoned by their fathers. Lead these fathers in finding restoration and reconciliation with their children. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

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Our Lenten Journey: A Word from Our God to Our Children. Ephesians 6:1-3

Ephesians 6:1-3 New American Standard Bible 1995

Family Relationships

6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

The Word of God for the Children of God.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.

Some time ago, while sitting in a restaurant, I overheard a conversation between a teenager and her mother.

The mother was trying to convince her daughter that as long as she was in high school and living at home, she had to follow her parents’ rules.

At one point the daughter said, “I don’t have to listen to you just because you are my mother. I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

Of course, the daughter had it wrong. Lewis Smedes, in his book Mere Morality, explains that God appoints parents to guide their children on his behalf.

The fifth commandment tells children of every age that they must honor and respect their parents, simply because they are their parents.

Children who are still living at home are expected to follow their parents’ rules.

The only exception would be a case in which the parents were busy asking their children to do something against God’s will.

Obeying our parents and listening to them can save us from a lot of hurt in life.

On more than one occasion I’ve heard adult children say, “I should have listened to my parents.”

Because of their life experience, parents often can better see the consequences of the decisions their children could make.

And making Christlike decisions in their own lives helps parents earn their children’s respect.

On two occasions when Paul gives to his readers a long list of the ugly fruits of godlessness, right in the middle we find one little phrase:

“disobedient to parents” (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2).

Conversely, when you read church history, you discover that at times of spiritual awakening, practical godliness followed—including children’s submission to godly parental authority.

Paul writes children’s obedience to their parents is not merely a suggestion; it is an obligation.

Scripture teaches that such obedience is right according to the natural order of God’s creation, in accordance with His law, and as a response to the gospel.

Parents should not be afraid to call for, and praise, obedience.

But Paul doesn’t only say that obedience is right; he also says that it is rewarded.

In the Lord Jesus, there is a blessing that accompanies paying attention to God’s commands and promises.

And when parent-child relationships are marked by love, trust and obedience, we don’t just create healthy people; we also create a healthy, cohesive society.

Parents who wish to bring about such obedience would do well to remember five important truths that the Bible teaches about our children:

1. “Children are a heritage from the LORD” (Psalm 127:3).

They are a gift and a blessing.

Thinking of our children should prompt gratitude to the Giver of those children.

2. We don’t own our children; they belong to God. (Psalm 139:13-18)

They’re on loan to us, for a limited time.

3. Children are flawed from conception, guilty of sin and not deserving of eternal life—just like all of us (Psalm 58:3; Romans 3:23).

4. Because they are sinful, children are in need of the commandments of God. (Deuteronomy 6:4-12)

As parents, we are responsible for instructing them in God’s law from the earliest days.

5. Our children can be saved only by grace. Therefore, we must teach them to look to Jesus alone for salvation. (Luke 18:15-17)

Many of us live in a culture where these truths are opposed.

On the one hand, children are seen as innately good, and their education or health or happiness is held up as the highest good.

On the other, they are often bullies, the butt of jokes or subject of complaints.

Sometimes even within the church itself, there is an absence of clear, biblical statements about God, Godly family and Godly parenting.

But here is what God says: children growing up in the home are to obey their parents; parents are to raise their children to know God’s law and God’s grace.

If we would raise a generation in our homes and in our churches that is more godly and more zealous than ours, we would do well to nurture our children in the context of God’s truth.

Many, if not all of us, had parents with children in their homes.

All of us will be members of churches with children in our midst.

So what should it look like for us to contribute to the spiritual health of the next generation?

Honor Your Parents

Deuteronomy 5:16 New American Standard Bible 1995

16 ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.

This command was not written for the little children.

They have no choice but to honor their parents.

It was written to younger and older adults who lived with older generations.

Living together in a household with three or more generations was common in ancient Israel, as it is in some of our own very households and societies today.

How do you treat your elders, especially your parents?

I have seen some young people act worse toward their parents than they do toward anyone else.

They complain that they deserve more and nicer things.

They berate their parents because they aren’t up on the latest technology or trends.

They throw a fit when asked to do a simple household task.

When another adult says, “You sure have a wonderful child,” the parent is stunned.

Our best and our worst be­havior comes out in our families.

That is why this scriptural reminder is absolutely critical and necessary.

Show honor to your parents.

It doesn’t matter if they aren’t as smart or capable as they once were.

It doesn’t matter that they, like everyone else, have flaws.

The criterion for honor and respect is the fact that they are your parents.

Scripture repeatedly teaches that honoring your parents will bring blessing.

This command closes with a promise, saying that God gives us life and blessing for honoring the parents he has given us.

How are we with caring for our own parents or grandparents?

Micah 6:6-8 New American Standard Bible 1995

What God Requires of Man

6 With what shall I come to the Lord
And bow myself before the God on high?
Shall I come to Him with burnt offerings,
With yearling calves?
7 Does the Lord take delight in thousands of rams,
In ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I present my firstborn for my rebellious acts,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love [a]kindness,
And to walk [b]humbly with your God?

Leviticus 19:32 New American Standard Bible 1995

32 ‘You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the [a]aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord.

James 1:26-27 New American Standard Bible 1995

26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not [a]bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. 27 Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained [b]by the world.

How well is it with us as parents, as disciples, the church, doing what the Lord requires of us?

How well is it with us as parents, as disciples, as the church in advocating for justice for our children, our parents, our grandparents or great grandparents?

How much do we love kindness?

How about our allegedly ‘humble’ walk with our God, His Son and Holy Spirit?

How well is it with the church caring for its own widows and its own orphans?

This Lent, think muchly and pray even more about your children and family!

In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,

Let us Pray,

Father God in heaven, help us to honor and respect our parents. Forgive us if we have ignored them, and help us as children to be patient with their shortcomings.

Thank you, Father God, for our children, for parents, especially godly parents. Thank you for the gift they are in our lives and in others’ lives. Help us to show them proper honor and to respect all people as created and loved by you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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