Proverbs 17:17 GOD’S WORD Translation
17 A friend always loves,
and a brother is born to share trouble.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
All Glory and Honor and Praise To God in the Highest!
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Amen!
Authentic Christian Friends
King Solomon said it the wisest of all when describing a genuine friendship in the book of Proverbs:
Proverbs 17:17 Complete Jewish Bible
17 A friend shows his friendship at all times —
it is for adversity that [such] a brother is born.
Friendships aren’t always easy.
Friends and friendships go through seasons of trial, arguments, differences of opinion, and busy work and home and their caring for their family schedules.
Along the way, new friends are made, and old friendships sometimes fade.
Friends can influence us for good and for bad.
Friendships can be a lot of work.
But when they are at their best, friendships are also very rewarding.
Real friends support us and also challenge us.
They see us for who God intended us to be, and they help us grow in the grace and love of Christ.
The Bible contains stories of deep friendships.
David and Jonathan’s friendship is a great example of one that lasted through deep difficulties (1 Samuel 19-20).
Friendships that endure are filled with love and dignity and respect all the time.
Friendships are born and lived out in a whole variety of ways and are meant to withstand the hardships of life that’ll inevitably appear when two people come together, they mutually decide they want to risk everything to make a go of it.
Some friendships may be born from already being family, while others may come from work, hobbies, sports, or even through our children’s schooling.
Yet when it comes to genuine Christian friendships, these relationships are so much more than just our establishing of a bond over shared recipes, playing games of golf, or pickleball or that we will work with them eight hours a day.
Genuine Christian friendships employ the covenant need to love God, others as Jesus Christ first loved us and displaying to all of our friends authentic love that comes from the example of God, the Father, Jesus our Savior and Holy Spirit.
These five characteristics represent the authenticity of Christian friendships that we all want to have but, may not know nor how to cultivate nor to display.
1. Be Willing to Pray for Them … and Actually Do It
1 Thessalonians 5:11 English Standard Version
11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
It is kind of seen as the one quintessential statement that every Christian has uttered at least once.
As people say they need or would deeply appreciate prayer or have opened up about a hardship in their lives, we may be quick to say, “I’ll be praying for you.”
However, sometimes as much as we want to remember to pray for that person, in as quick as the next instant or next breath life can distract us and we forget.
The mark of a genuine Christian friendship comes when you will make an actual effort not to forget that person’s prayer request – and close your eyes in silence.
Romans 8:26-28 English Standard Version
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because [a] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[b] for those who are called according to his purpose.
Instead of just saying you will pray for that person, you follow through by either immediately closing your eyes, letting the Holy Spirit have your heart and soul; praying for that person right then and there or just begin praying 23rd Psalm.
or making a note in your prayer list to pray for them along with other requests.
It also helps strengthen the reminder to pray by, if at all possible, following up with the person to see if the request for prayer was blessed, answered by God.
2. Don’t View Prayer Requests as Reasons to Gossip
Psalm 133 English Standard Version
When Brothers Dwell in Unity
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
133 Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity![a]
2 It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes!
3 It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
life forevermore.
We enjoy the opportunity to come together to pray for someone we know, even mentioned in Psalm 133:1, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.”
However, sharing a prayer request with others means we should just pray for that person, not make any effort to pry further into their personal business.
Whether the person has shared what is going on or not, we should always treat the prayer request as a complete secret that doesn’t need to be discussed unless the person is present or says we can discuss the matter openly with others.
Some may think that giving background information about the prayer request would make everyone more inclined to pray for this person, but it could instead cause people to “share their opinions on the person’s struggle,” and lessen the effectiveness of complete trust coming together in prayer for a friend in trouble.
Being discrete with prayer requests allows the person’s privacy to be honored and friendships to stay authentic as more people join to lift them up in prayer.
3. Offer Grace as God Gives Us Grace
It is evident that we wouldn’t be anywhere close to where we are today if it wasn’t for God’s grace showered on our lives daily.
And just as we are given grace freely by God, we should do the same with one another, especially our friends.
Jesus speaks of offering grace to each other in the book of Luke, stating that “just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise” (Luke 6:31).
Luke 6:31-34 The Message
31-34 “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.
The apostle Paul, in Romans 10:12, also shares about giving love to one another: “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.”
Romans 10:12-13 The Message
11-13 Scripture reassures us, “No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it.” It’s exactly the same no matter what a person’s religious background may be: the same God for all of us, acting the same incredibly generous way to everyone who calls out for help. “Everyone who calls, ‘Help, God!’ gets help.”
Brothers and Sisters, Please pray your extra attention to that last quotation:
“Everyone who calls, ‘Help God!’ gets Help.”
When we choose and decide to remember that we have all been given godly love and grace from our heavenly Father, not because we earned it but because it’s a gift, we can, and absolutely should, freely do the same for all of “our friends.”
Matthew 5:43-48 The Message
43-47 “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
48 “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and live graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
It isn’t because they gave us what “we wanted,” being enmity, and it’s now a transactional friendship, but it’s instead one that is filled with love all the time.
4. Always Be Ready to Welcome a New Friend into the Group
Hebrews 10:22-25 The Message
22-25 So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not ever avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Sometimes in friend circles (both non-Christian and Christian), some can adopt the mindset of having enough friends that they can’t make room for one more.
However, as Christians, in community as God is in community, that is a toxic mindset that goes against everything Jesus stood for and God created us for.
We were created as relational beings, people who thrive in unity and love.
So, when you and I do not believe we have any or enough time to encourage a new friendship in our group or individually, we miss out on a connection that could potentially be life-changing – for both the other person and also for us.
Proverbs 27:17 The Message
Your Face Mirrors Your Heart
17 You use steel to sharpen steel,
and one friend sharpens another.
King Solomon refers to this well in Proverbs 27:17, stating that “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Even if you are the busiest person ever, the time you take to welcome someone new into your group of friends can bless you a hundred fold in what that person can bring to the group in terms of faith, encouragement, a living hope and love.
Plus, God may have brought us all together at the exact time when we both, or we all fully needed to have our faith restored or to be reminded of God’s love.
5. Do Not Ever Be Afraid of Honesty
Christian friendships can sometimes be built on similar interests, faith, and maybe even being able to carve out time together.
But when a friendship can go deeper into being honest with one another about important matters, the friendship changes from being superficial to genuine.
King Solomon again provides wisdom regarding the necessity of rebuking to redirect a person’s path back to God: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:5-6).
Proverbs 27:5-6 The Message
5 A spoken reprimand is better
than approval that’s never expressed.
6 The wounds from a lover are worth it;
kisses from an enemy do you in.
This does not give a person license to say whatever they want to a friend and believe that it is honest correction to help them.
Any correction or rebuke you want to share with a friend absolutely needs to be taken to the Lord first, to determine if it is something He has led you to say or to communicate to them, or this is strictly your own personal preference for you.
What does happen is that in being honest with a friend about something that concerns you, you are showing more of the love of God for His children and the care you have for them and the hope that this will be a healthy change for them.
Even if they may not accept the correction right away, they will prayerfully and one day hopefully appreciate you saying this to them in a loving way as a friend.
What About Our Showing Authentic Christlike Love?
John 15:11-15 The Message
11-15 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.
As the saying goes, you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.
And with friends, they may eventually become your spouse and your family.
But genuine Christian friendships take on an entirely different purpose in our lives than other friendships.
These friendships always point toward the Lord and remind us of our need for God that overflows into exactly how we are covenanted to treat one another.
Whether it is taking the time to showing Christlike love to a new friend, or taking the risk to be honest with a friend you care about, genuine Christian friendships surpass what society may see of superficial friendships.
Through these Christlike friendships in authentic faith, in authentic hope and in authentic love, we can show others a relationship with depth and integrity.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
In the Unity of the Body of Christ, Let us Pray,
Thank you God that you are with us always, that your presence is mighty, and you hear our prayers on behalf of those we love. We ask that you would show yourself strong on their behalf. Remind them that nothing is too difficult for you, and you are leading them through this difficult time, covering them in your care. We know and believe beyond any doubt, that your power and love will never fail.
You are always trustworthy. You are all-powerful. You are fully able. You are Lord over every situation no matter how difficult it may seem. You are our healer and will never waste the pain we carry today. You promise to use all things for good in some way, because you are a God of miracles and nothing is too difficult for you.
Thank you that you fight for us, even when we can’t see all that you’re doing, even when we can’t fully understand your ways. We know that absolutely nothing can or will ever have enough power to ever separate us from your great grace, great love, hope and care, and our loved ones are safe in your hands. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
All Glory and Honor and Praise To God in the Highest!
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Amen!
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 