Proverbs 18:24 Authorized (King James) Version
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
Glory Be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the Beginning is now and ever shall be. Worlds Without End. Amen, Amen, Amen.
Friendship Arises Out Of Mere Companionship
“Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’” – C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
It is indeed truly wonderful to find a companion who shares something in common with us which then, over time, builds into a genuine friendship.
However, we must also be very aware that there are times when making and sustaining lasting friendships does not and will not come to us very easily.
For adults, life can get busy with balancing various responsibilities at work, home, hobbies, family life and myriads and myriads of other activities.
Finding time to cultivate friendships can be challenging and there will always be those that we struggle to connect with.
Forging true friendships takes time and commitment.
Are we making it an authentically active or authentically passive priority?
Are there things that we can do, or need to do to start, continue a friendship?
I am a firm believer that God’s truth as found in the Bible can help us in times when finding, making and maintaining, sustaining friendships, can be tough.
What is Friendship?
Proverbs 18:24 Amplified Bible
24
The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin,
But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.
The union between God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit reveals a closeness and relationship which we all long for, and God invites us to be a part of that.
People were made for companionship as image bearers of the triune God and it was declared that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18 Amplified).
18 Now the Lord God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] [a] suitable and complementary for him.”
From Adam’s own body, God made Eve as a helper for Adam and walked with them in the Garden of Eden before the fall.
God himself was relational to them and they were relational toward Him and in turn, to and towards one another.
Even after Adam and Eve sinned, it was the Lord who first embraced them and unfolded His plan of redemption against the evil one (Genesis 3:15 Amplified).
15
“And I will put enmity (open hostility)
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed (offspring) and her [a]Seed;
He shall [fatally] bruise your head,
And you shall [only] bruise His heel.”
Friendship is most clearly demonstrated in the life and death of Jesus.
He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:13-15).
Jesus has revealed Himself to us and has not withheld anything, even His life.
When we follow and obey Him, we are called His friends.
He is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His nature (Hebrews 1:3).
We can come to know God because He became flesh and has made Himself known to us.
He laid down His life for us.
To be known and loved by God and be blessed by God to be called His friends should motivate us in being a friend to others out of our love for and obedience to Jesus – We can love others because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).
1 John 4:19 The Message
19 We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.
Biblical Ways to Forge Friendships
1. Pray for One or Two Close Friends
Have we asked God for close friendships?
He cares very deeply about everyone of us and knows exactly all that we need.
It might never have been something we would think to pray for.
In 1 John 5:14-15 it says,
“this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”
In an expectant faith, we can each ask Him to bring someone into our lives to encourage us, to challenge us, be with us and to continue to point us to Jesus.
If we have asked God to help us cultivate close friendships that can spur us on in our faith and life, we need to anticipate and to believe that He will answer us.
Let’s be expectant that God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine by His power at work in us (Ephesians 3:20-21 The Message).
20-21 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Glory to God in the church!
Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!
Glory down all the generations!
Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!
2. Look to the Bible for Wisdom on Friendship
The Bible is filled with wisdom and the book of Proverbs has much to say on friendship, including choosing friends wisely and being a friend.
It speaks of good counsel from a friend: “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice” (Proverbs 27:9).
Proverbs 27:9 The Message
9 Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight,
a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.
It also warns about those who can break down friendships:
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28)
Proverbs 16:28 The Message
28 Troublemakers start fights;
gossips break up friendships.
“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9).
Proverbs 17:9 The Message
9 Overlook an offense and bond a friendship;
fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!
In the New Testament, Jesus is our greatest example of what it means to be a friend.
He says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
John 15:13-15 The Message
11-15 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.
From the first verse of Genesis to the last verse of Revelation we see the story of God’s love and friendship with people.
He has always been Shepherding us.
Will we shepherd others with this same love that Christ had for us?
3. Be a Friend
It is not just about our own edification and what we can get out of a friendship.
Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others’ and 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
There are many who are feigning, choosing to remain hidden who are lonely and struggling, longing for a friend, to be noticed and for someone to listen.
Who can we bless and encourage?
Is there anyone that we should get to know?
Not every acquaintance or person we help will become a close friend.
Yet, we are called to love our neighbor and even our enemies, and serve those that we meet and love them like Jesus does (Matthew 5:43-48 The Message).
Matthew 5:43-48 The Message
43-47 “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
48 “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
As it also says in Romans 12:10, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
Romans 12:10 The Message
9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
4. Take the Initiative
Taking a step of faith can be really difficult.
Asking someone to meet up for a meal or coffee, inviting someone into our home or doing something that we hope will bless someone can take courage.
There may be all sorts of barriers.
Perhaps it is overcoming shyness or fear.
Maybe there is a cultural or societal wall that needs to be broken, prejudices or biases or stereotypes that needs to be confronted, challenged or we simply need to trust that Jesus will go before us, will 100% be with us in all our interactions.
It may well be daunting and difficult, complex and quite overly complicated.
Following Jesus first, not self, is not easy, yet there is no greater way to live.
We must be intentional and open up our heart and home with those around us, showing hospitality and kindness, and loving them first as Christ first loves us.
It was Jesus who initiated redemption by pouring out His grace on us when we were still enemies and sinners against God (Romans 5:6-10).
Romans 5:6-11 The Message
6-8 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
9-11 Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we’re at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!
If God can first lavish such amazing grace onto us, we can pour out that same measure of “first” amazing grace on others also.
5. Live Sacrificially
Matthew 14:13-21 English Standard Version
Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. 15 Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.” 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Jesus was always moving from place to place, meeting different people from the crowds and meeting their physical and spiritual needs.
Yet, He continuously made time to spend with His Father in prayer and with His disciples.
Ultimately, Jesus lived a life of complete sacrifice as He obeyed His Father and ultimately laid down His life on the cross for us.
We can now be a friend of God’s because He died for our sin, reconciling us into a right relationship with Him.
We are likewise covenanted to go and do likewise and live a life that is less about us, and significantly more about Jesus and is as self-sacrificing toward others.
Being transformed by the Savior’s sacrificial love, we are able to love others in a radical way and invest in people like Jesus did.
Romans 12:1-3 The Message
Place Your Life Before God
12 1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
3 I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
6. Stand by Friends in Ups and Downs
A true friend is steadfast and immovable and will remain by our sides in times of hardship and sorrow as well as sharing in moments of joy and celebration.
Friends share both trials and accomplishments, are transparent and truthful.
The close friendship shared between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18:1 demonstrates this:
“As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
Jonathan showed kindness to David when his father King Saul pursued David’s life.
David trusted Jonathan to help him persuade his father to relent, but also to alert him if Saul was still after his life (1 Samuel 20).
After Jonathan was killed in battle, David was grieved which showed the depth of their relationship (2 Samuel 1:25-27).
7. Remember that Jesus Is the Ultimate Friend
It can be difficult to forge true, lasting friendships but as we trust the Lord to help us in this, we need to remember that Jesus is our ultimate friend.
He calls believers His friends because He has opened up to them and kept nothing hidden (John 15:15).
He died for us, He loved us first (1 John 4:19), He chose us (John 15:16), and when while we were still his sworn enemies, we were still far off from God He brought us near by His blood, shed for us on the cross (Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:13).
Ephesians 2:11-13 The Message
11-13 But don’t take any of this for granted. It was only yesterday that you outsiders to God’s ways had no idea of any of this, didn’t know the first thing about the way God works, hadn’t the faintest idea of Christ. You knew nothing of that rich history of God’s covenants and promises in Israel, hadn’t a clue about what God was doing in the world at large. Now because of Christ—dying that death, shedding that blood—you who were once out of it altogether are in on everything.
He is the penultimate friend of sinners and promises never to leave nor forsake those who trust in Him.
Deuteronomy 31:7-8Amplified Bible
7 Then Moses called to Joshua and said to him in the sight of all [the people of] Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you will go with this people into the land which the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you will give it to them as an inheritance. 8 It is the Lord who goes before you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
The foundation of a true and lasting friendship will be one that spurs us on to follow God and Jesus in all of life, willing us to finish the race towards eternity.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
Thank you for your great love and blessing over our lives. Thank you that your anger is brief and your favor has no end, but it lasts for our entire lifetime. Forgive us for sometimes forgetting you are intimately acquainted with all of our ways, that you know what concerns us, and you cover us, as with a shield. We ask for your guidance so that we might walk fully in your blessing and goodness today. We ask that your face would shine on us. That you would open the right doors for our lives and for our loved ones, that you would close the wrong doors and protect us from those we need to walk away from. Establish the work of our hands and bring to fulfillment all that you have gifted, given us to do in these days. We pray that you would make our way purposeful and our footsteps firm out of your goodness and love. Give us a heart of wisdom to hear your voice, and make us strong by your huge favor and grace.
Glory Be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the Beginning is now and ever shall be. Worlds Without End. Amen, Amen, Amen.
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 