John 15:5-10 Amplified Bible
5 [a]I am the Vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him bears much fruit, for [otherwise] apart from Me [that is, cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken off] branch, and withers and dies; and they gather such branches and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you remain in Me and My words remain in you [that is, if we are vitally united and My message lives in your heart], ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. 8 My Father is glorified and honored by this, when you bear much fruit, and prove yourselves to be My [true] disciples. 9 I have loved you just as the Father has loved Me; remain in My love [and do not doubt My love for you]. 10 If you keep My commandments and obey My teaching, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
Happy Father’s Day 2024: Father is the backbone of the family who plays a significant role. He sacrifices his everything in the upbringing of their children and other members of the family. To provide him honor, let’s celebrate Father’s Day to make the incredible man feel special. It is a special occasion dedicated only to the father, whether he is a father figure, grandfather, or the stepfather.
Father’s Day is celebrated all over the world to show extreme love and care for the father’s efforts and support.
In 2024, Father’s Day will be celebrated on 16th June 2024 and of course, it is the best time to show appreciation to the father.
If you are looking for a moment to show your inner feelings to your father, it is the most recommended day when you can open your heart and explain how you feel about having your father in your life. So, try to make that honest effort to plan your whole day to celebrate Father’s Day with your father, loving family.
Unless, of course …
When You Feel Like You Are Failing Your Children As A Father? Here’s Why It is Probably Not True.
John 15:9-10 The Message
9-10 “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.
Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it’s not uncommon to feel like you’re failing as a father at times.
The pressure to be the perfect parent can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to compare yourself to other fathers and feel like you’re not measuring up.
But the truth is, no one is a perfect parent, and the most important thing is that you love and care for your children.
In this devotional effort, we will explore the common challenges fathers face, the misconceptions about parental failure, and suggest practical strategies to overcoming those feelings you may now be experiencing of failing as a father.
What are You Understanding about Parental Failure? Separating Fact from Fiction.
Many fathers who feel like they are failing may not actually be experiencing parental failure.
Parental failure refers to situations where a parent causes significant trauma, neglect, or harm to their child through their actions or behavior.
This can include abuse, neglect, abandonment, or involvement in harmful behaviors such as substance abuse or violence. It’s important to differentiate between experiencing a rough patch in parenting and actual parental failure.
When fathers feel like they are failing, it is often due to temporary challenges and stressful situations.
Parenting is a demanding and complex role, and it is normal to struggle and make mistakes along the way.
It’s crucial to recognize that these struggles are part of the journey and not indicative of parental failure.
Fatherhood and Its Challenges
Acknowledge that managing the day to day the role of Fatherhood is a significant aspect of family life, and it comes with its own set of challenges.
For some men, the responsibilities of being a father can exacerbate underlying anger issues, leading to a stressful relationship dynamic within the family.
The day to day pressure to provide, protect, and be a role model can sometimes lead to wide feelings of inadequacy and frustration, especially when faced with unexpected difficulties.
It’s so very important to acknowledge that fatherhood isn’t always portrayed accurately in the media, and societal expectations can contribute to a sense of acute, chronic failure when reality doesn’t align with these idealized depictions.
Understanding and addressing these challenges is crucial in separating fact from fiction when it comes to parental failure.
Seeking support, whether through therapy, counseling, or support groups, or clergy can be instrumental in navigating the complexities of fatherhood and addressing any underlying anger issues that may impact family dynamics.
Fatherhood Struggles Are Normal
Feeling like you’re failing as a father is a common experience shared by many men.
The responsibilities of parenting can be overwhelming, and it’s natural to face challenges and difficulties.
From maintaining patience during disciplining to feeling like you have little control over your child’s behavior, these struggles are completely normal.
As a new parent, it’s especially common to feel uncertain and inexperienced.
It takes time to adjust to the responsibilities and demands of parenthood.
Remember that every parent has moments of self-doubt and feels like they could have done something better. It’s important to give yourself grace and mercy and forgiveness and acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can.
The Fear of Parental Failure
The fear of parental failure often stems from our own childhood experiences and the desire to be better parents than our own.
We may have set high expectations for ourselves and fear disappointing others and ourselves.
However, it’s crucial to recognize that parenting is a learning process, and it’s okay to make mistakes, sometimes even grievous mistakes have their purpose.
Instead of dwelling, obsessing, on the fear of failure, focus on personal growth and improvement.
Self-criticism can also contribute to the feeling of failing as a parent.
It’s important to have self-compassion and empathy towards yourself as a parent. Remember that you are human and prone to making mistakes.
Instead of being overly critical, focus on the grace of God, finding opportunities for bible study with other fathers, growth and learning from your experiences.
How to Overcome the Feeling of Failing as a Father
John 15:9-10 The Message
9-10 “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.
- Recognize and Reframe: Instead of viewing yourself as a failure, reframe your thoughts to acknowledge that you’re struggling. Recognize that parenting is challenging, and it’s normal to have difficult moments. Reframe your mindset to focus on growth and improvement rather than dwelling on perceived failures.
- Identify Areas for Improvement: Take the time to identify specific areas of your parenting that you would like to work on. This could include managing frustration, improving communication, setting boundaries, or practicing patience. Jot down these areas and reflect on why they are important to you.
- Prepare for Change: Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, create a game plan for how you will address them. Consider specific strategies or techniques that you can implement in challenging situations. Having a plan in place will help you stay focused and better equipped to handle difficult moments.
- Take Purposeful Action: Commit to actively working on the strategies you’ve identified. Remember that change takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Consistency is key in implementing positive changes in your parenting approach.
- Apologize When Necessary: It’s important to model empathy and taking responsibility for our actions. If you make a mistake, don’t hesitate to apologize to your child. This teaches them valuable lessons about forgiveness, conflict resolution, and making amends. Apologizing shows that you are human and willing to learn from your mistakes.
- Reflect on Your Own Experiences: Be mindful of your own childhood experiences and how they may influence your parenting. Recognize any negative patterns or tendencies that you may have adopted and work towards breaking those cycles. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide valuable support in processing past traumas and improving self-worth.
- Practice Self-Care: Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for being a present and effective parent. Prioritize self-care activities that help you manage stress and improve your mood. This could include exercise, hobbies, spending time with friends, or seeking professional support when needed.
- Set Boundaries: Recognize when you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to establish boundaries. It’s okay to ask for help and delegate responsibilities when necessary. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a better parent and role model for your children.
- Focus on the Positive: Instead of dwelling on perceived failures, shift your focus to the positive aspects of your parenting. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that being present and showing love to your children is what truly matters.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it. Connect with other fathers who may be experiencing similar challenges. Join parenting groups or seek professional guidance from therapists or counselors specializing in family dynamics. Remember, you are not alone in your parenting journey.
A Prayer to Encourage Fathers Who Feel Like Failures
Matthew 11:28-30 The Message
28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
In today’s internet and technology driven culture, many careers require employees to be on the job for more than 40 hours a week, taking more and more time away from men who want to spend time with their families.
As well, the vast array of economic challenges, rising interest rates, the rising consumer costs, mortgages are keeping a family’s breadwinner from being able to cut back hours, working as much as possible just to keep ahead of inflation.
Sadly, the pressure from employers, along with an escalating economy, causes fathers who long to be present and involved in their kids’ lives to put time with their families on the back burner, stress out, and keep focusing on keeping their households afloat with housing, health insurance, clothes, food, and more.
But in in the day to day management of house and home, providing for their families, fathers are missing out on valuable time with their kids, losing vast measures of time being involved in their lives in a personal way, knowing what their kids are thinking and doing, and what’s spiritually going on in their lives.
Feelings of Fatherhood Failure
All of the above can make a father feel like a failure in their children’s lives.
Add to it the number of broken families, where fathers or mothers don’t live in the same home with their kids and have marriage issues coupled with limited time to spend and connect together with them the sense of failure increases.
As well, recall that the enemy of our souls prowls around every corner works double hard to the convince kids that their fathers don’t really love them, don’t really want to spend time with them, and just don’t care enough to be around.
Likewise, he also works triple hard to convince dads their kids don’t want them around or need them, together, causing some fathers to walk away completely.
What’s A Father to Do?
God understands fatherhood.
Even though He is the perfect, flawless Father, He’s experienced the hardcore sorrow that comes with having children who greatly struggle with believing He truly loves and cares for them unconditionally.
The Gospel story of the prodigal son offers fathers three steps in restoring relationships with children who have rejected them, turned away from them.
Luke 15:11-32 Amplified Bible
The Prodigal Son
11 Then He said, “A certain man had two sons. 12 The younger of them [inappropriately] said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that falls to me.’ So he divided the estate between them. 13 A few days later, the younger son gathered together everything [that he had] and traveled to a distant country, and there he wasted his fortune in reckless and immoral living. 14 Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to do without and be in need. 15 So he went and forced himself on one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to [a]feed pigs. 16 He would have gladly eaten the [carob] pods that the pigs were eating [but they could not satisfy his hunger], and no one was giving anything to him. 17 But when he [finally] came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough food, while I am dying here of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; [just] treat me like one of your hired men.”’ 20 So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe [for the guest of honor] and put it on him; and give him a [b] ring for his hand, and sandals for his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let us [invite everyone and] feast and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was [as good as] dead and is alive again; he was lost and has been found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Now his older son was in the field; and when he returned and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he summoned one of the servants and began asking what this [celebration] meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But the elder brother became angry and deeply resentful and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. 29 But he said to his father, ‘Look! These many years I have served you, and I have never neglected or disobeyed your command. Yet you have never given me [so much as] a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; 30 but when this [other] son of yours arrived, who has devoured your estate with immoral women, you slaughtered that fattened calf for him!’ 31 The father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But it was fitting to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was [as good as] dead and has begun to live. He was lost and has been found.’”
1. Love your children unconditionally.
In the story of the prodigal son, fathers can learn how to love their children unconditionally, even when their kids seem to reject them and want nothing to do with them.
Luke 15:11-12 tells of a father who had two sons. “The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.”
Still, after losing everything, he returned to his father, who greeted him with open arms. “So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to this son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).
2. Entrust your children to God.
The father in the prodigal son’s story released his son to God’s care and discipline, entrusting Him to speak into his heart and lead him back to him.
Even though the father didn’t want his son to leave, he didn’t force him to stay by withholding inheritance or by some other form of control or manipulation.
Although it must have been heartbreaking for the father to let him go, he trusted God to be with and deal with his son.
3. Forgive your children freely, even if others disagree.
As the story goes, the son spent all his inheritance and returned to his father broken and repentant. When he did, his brother, who had stayed at home, didn’t think it was fair and disagreed with his father’s forgiving heart.
But the father didn’t waiver in his forgiveness for his wayward son. “My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours, but we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found’” (Luke 15:31-32).
Before Assigning Yourself as failure; First Foremost
The standards of success and failure as a father are set by God, the Father alone.
Matthew 6:33-34 Amplified Bible
But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also. 34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Dear Father,
We ask You to speak to fathers’ hearts today who are feeling like failures. Forgive them for the ways they may have let You and their children down. Guard their hearts from the heaviness of regret. Soften their hearts to receive Your forgiveness and to freely offer forgiveness to their children who may have rejected and hurt them in return. Bring forgiveness and compassion, too, oh Lord, to the hearts of their children, who may have felt unloved and abandoned by their fathers. Lead these fathers in finding restoration and reconciliation with their children. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 