Proverbs 28:13-14 Amplified Bible
13
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
But whoever confesses and [a]turns away from his sins will find compassion and mercy.
14
Blessed and favored by God is the man who fears [sin and its consequence] at all times,
But he who hardens his heart [and is determined to sin] will fall into disaster.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
Why Can’t We, Will We, Won’t We, Forgive Ourselves?
Several years ago I knew a man convicted of a violent crime against someone he dearly love. He acted in a momentary rage. He had never been violent before. It shocked him. Now he’s in prison. But the iron bars are not his greatest problem.
He’s repented to the victim’s family, and the victim’s forgave him; and he has accepted Savior Christ repented to God, and he believes God forgives him too.
His problem, as he told it to me was that he could not ever forgive himself.
He’s confessed all known sins, prayed the sinner’s prayer, and claimed the blood of Christ. He knows he is forgiven by others, but he is still shocked and shamed by his own aggression against a loved one. How could he have done that?
If we’ve ever done something awful, accidentally, impulsively, purposely, it’s easy to swim in a sea of self-disgust afterwards. When other people nauseate us, we can avoid them, but we cannot so easily escape our own self-loathing. Our undying disappointments ceaselessly hammer their hateful messages:
How could you have done that? You are repulsive. What is wrong with you?
Whatever awful act we committed, from abandonment to adultery to betrayal, to violence against another to neglect, lying, holding embarrassing secrets, we cannot see how we be will ever be able to live with ourselves with our shame.
Whoever conceals his transgressions (even from himself) will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
Think of the debacle of King David when he committed adultery and then he afterwards tried every thing he could to keep it all from her husband, a loyal soldier – even taking advantage of his inability to read, to hand off his hand written order to the field commander to send him to his own certain death.
How many lies can we pull out from that story? How many betrayals could we easily identify from this story? How many criminal acts could we indict him? What was the magnitude of human cost – Bathsheba was severely violated? Could we not also protest, rebel, riot, against him? Goal of dethroning him?
We would hope that being king, a self proclaimed man after God’s own heart, would be honest, display much much higher magnitude of personal integrity.
But, his first choice, his only choice was to hide everything from everyone.
David might well have been proud of himself having been so clever, who would be the one to confront the King? Who would bravely walk into the throne room of the sitting King at the very highest risk of losing their lives to confront him?
In his highest royal arrogance, He must have felt immune to any judgement.
Then Nathan, his trusted advisor walked into the throne room and told David a story, a story of someone else’s severest dishonesty and deep covetous thievery.
David got instantly angry and ordered the death of that dishonest, covetous, person – saying no one deserved death more than the one who committed it.
He demanded to know who had committed the heinous act, to bring him before the king for judgement and punishment – then Nathan pointed towards David.
David was the person who committed the act – he conspired, covered it all up, and while no other person would dare to be confrontational – God saw it All!
Discovered, David arose from his throne, removed his own royal vestments, left his kingship behind with no reasonable expectation of God letting him return.
He sat himself down in the tent of meeting and placed himself before his God.
From thence … we have Psalm 51 and later Psalm 32 and Psalm 103.
Ultimately David was allowed to remain King as God had promised, but the punishment was that the unborn child of the adulterous act would not live.
Being honest with ourselves, BEFORE OUR RIGHTEOUS JUDGE GOD, how are we going to respond when we’re ourselves discovered in our secret sins by Nathan?
Don’t believe you have any secret sins?
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! — Romans 3:21-25
Justification by Faith
21 But now the righteousness of God has been clearly revealed [independently and completely] apart from the Law, though it is [actually] confirmed by the Law and the [words and writings of the] Prophets. 22 This righteousness of God comes through faith in Jesus Christ for all those [Jew or Gentile] who believe [and trust in Him and acknowledge Him as God’s Son]. There is no distinction, 23 since all have sinned and continually fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are being justified [declared free of the guilt of sin, made acceptable to God, and granted eternal life] as a gift by His [precious, undeserved] [a]grace, through the redemption [the payment for our sin] which is [provided] in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God displayed publicly [before the eyes of the world] as a [life-giving] [b]sacrifice of atonement and reconciliation (propitiation) by His blood [to be received] through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness [which demands punishment for sin], because in His forbearance [His deliberate restraint] He passed over the sins previously committed [before Jesus’ crucifixion].
God, Forgive us our trespasses as we sincerely forgive ourselves of our own trespasses against ourselves?
Matthew 6:14-15 Amplified Bible
14 For if you forgive [a]others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.
… But if you do not forgive others {up to and including including yourselves}
Proverbs 28:13-14 The Message
13 You can’t whitewash your sins and get by with it;
you find mercy by admitting and leaving them.
14 A tenderhearted person lives a blessed life;
a hardhearted person lives a hard life.
As Christians striving to fully love God, love others, and love ourselves, with all our bodily strength, mind and spirit as well as we love ourselves, and live deep in obedience to the covenants of God, commands of Christ, we often are harder, unforgiving and more self critical, on ourselves, than our heavenly Father is.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Complete Jewish Bible
(A:vi, S: v) 4 “Sh’ma, Yisra’el! Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai echad [Hear, Isra’el! Adonai our God, Adonai is one]; 5 and you are to love Adonai your God with all your heart, all your being and all your resources. 6 These words, which I am ordering you today, are to be on your heart; 7 and you are to teach them carefully to your children. You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you are traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead, 9 and write them on the door -frames of your house and on your gates.
If we are ever going to authentically allow ourselves to experience the depths of God’s love in all seasons, we must open ourselves to learn to forgive ourselves.
Psalm 51:1-17 The Message
51 1-3 Generous in love—God, give grace!
Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I’ve been;
my sins are staring me down.
4-6 You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen
it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you;
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you’re after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I’ll let loose with your praise.
16-17 Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.
In human form Jesus revealed to us what God is like.
From within Psalm 51 He exposed our self defeating projections for all of what our “secret” idolatry that they are and gave us the way to become free of them.
It takes a profound Psalm 51 type conversion to accept that God is relentlessly tender and compassionate toward us just as we are—not in spite of our sins and faults (that would not be total acceptance), but with them. Though God does not condone or sanction evil, He doesn’t withhold his love because there’s evil in us.
Our Father loves us unconditionally. His grace and mercy will never run out.
He is never surprised when we sin or fall short of the life to which we’ve been called because he knows our need of him. He knows that without his help we will never succeed in living a lifestyle of obedience. He knows that without consistent encounters with his love we will never be able to fully love others.
And he knows that without being consistently filled with the Holy Spirit we will never be empowered to live in the freedom from sin Christ’s death affords us.
1 John 2:1-16 Complete Jewish Bible
2 My children, I am writing you these things so that you won’t sin. But if anyone does sin, we have Yeshua the Messiah, the Tzaddik, who pleads our cause with the Father. 2 Also, he is the kapparah for our sins — and not only for ours, but also for those of the whole world.
3 The way we can be sure we know him is if we are obeying his commands. 4 Anyone who says, “I know him,” but isn’t obeying his commands is a liar — the truth is not in him. 5 But if someone keeps doing what he says, then truly love for God has been brought to its goal in him. This is how we are sure that we are united with him. 6 A person who claims to be continuing in union with him ought to conduct his life the way he did.
7 Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command. On the contrary, it is an old command, which you have had from the beginning; the old command is the message which you have heard before. 8 Yet I am writing you a new command, and its reality is seen both in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. 9 Anyone who claims to be in this light while hating his brother is still in the dark. 10 The person who keeps loving his brother remains in the light, and there is nothing in him that could make him trip. 11 But the person who hates his brother is in the dark — yes, he is walking in the dark, and he doesn’t know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.
12 You children, I am writing you
because your sins have been forgiven for his sake.
13 You fathers, I am writing you
because you have known him who has existed from the beginning.
You young people, I am writing you
because you have overcome the Evil One.
14 You children, I have written you
because you have known the Father.
You fathers, I have written you
because you have known him who has existed from the beginning.
You young people, I have written you
because you are strong —
the Word of God remains in you,
and you have overcome the Evil One.
15 Do not love the world or the things of the world. If someone loves the world, then love for the Father is not in him; 16 because all the things of the world — the desires of the old nature, the desires of the eyes, and the pretensions of life — are not from the Father but from the world.
https://etzion.org.il/en/holidays/yom-kippur/meaning-kappara-atonement-torah
Your heavenly Father is beckoning you to forgive yourself today.
He’s waiting to fill you with his mercy and grace to overflowing.
He’s ready to lead you into a lifestyle of loving yourself as he has loved you.
Run out to meet him today. Allow him to clothe you with love, honor, and grace.
Allow him to show you the depths of his compassion for you.
And live today in light of the glorious grace of Jesus.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Guided Prayer:
1. Meditate on the importance of forgiving yourself.
Allow Scripture to give you God’s perspective of grace and mercy.
“But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
“I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.” Galatians 2:21
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
2. Where do you need to forgive yourself today?
What mistake or failure are you carrying around like a weight? Where are you not offering yourself the grace and mercy offered by your heavenly Father?
3. Ask God to share with you his perspective.
Ask him to help you see yourself as he sees you. Spend quality time resting in his love and compassion and being filled with his affections to overflowing.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
Often we carry the weight of our mistakes because we are unwilling to ask forgiveness from others.
Confessing and repenting to those we’ve wronged is a vital part of the Christian life. Admitting our weaknesses and faults to ourselves, others, helps remove us from the pursuit of perfection and guide us to a life of surrender and humility.
Pray! Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness from anyone you’ve wronged.
And authentically allow the authentic forgiveness of your heavenly Father to fill you with His joy, love, and freedom where only sin and shame abounded before.
Psalm 139:23-24 The Message
23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Psalm 23 Complete Jewish Bible
23 (0) A psalm of David:
(1) Adonai is my shepherd; I lack nothing.
2 He has me lie down in grassy pastures,
he leads me by quiet water,
3 he restores my inner person.
He guides me in right paths
for the sake of his own name.
4 Even if I pass through death-dark ravines,
I will fear no disaster; for you are with me;
your rod and staff reassure me.
5 You prepare a table for me,
even as my enemies watch;
you anoint my head with oil
from an overflowing cup.
6 Goodness and grace will pursue me
every day of my life;
and I will live in the house of Adonai
for years and years to come.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 