Genesis 2:18-25 New Living Translation
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man[a] to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs[b] and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
The Word of God for the Children of God.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
I remember watching a Larry King Live show years ago which featured several celebrity women who had formed what they chose to call an “ex-wives club.”
I remember most of them had been married more than once, yet they all agreed that marriage was not so special.
That prompted Larry King to sharply ask, “If marriage is not special, why try it for a second or third time?”
A lifelong bachelor contemplating as I was asking my current wife to become my fiancé, the brunt of the question from Mr. King swiftly caught my attention.
I do not usually watch such shows – but things were definitely changing for me.
I was seriously contemplating giving up a lifetime of dedicated bachelorhood to the only woman I would ever say I would quite literally surrender my whole life.
Reflecting on the same question now after 13 1/2 of marriage, the answer to that question I believe is found, at least in part, in Genesis 2:18, where God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
Right from the very beginning, God declared that Adam needed a companion.
Without the woman’s companionship, union, Adam was destined to be lonely.
So God brought Eve into his life to make him more complete.
God brought a heavy sleep upon Adam, took one of his ribs, and gave Adam a lifelong partner with whom he could have a meaningful, intimate relationship.
Through the covenant of marriage, God gives us a companion, a soul mate, to share all of the experiences of life.
A spouse is someone who understands us, someone who is there for us every step of the way.
The gift of marriage is intended to give us a loving companion who can make us more whole, complete, and with whom we can share the deepest joys, fears, and yearnings of our souls – in addition, God intended it to be a relationship for life.
If you are now contemplating marriage, pray to God, read and study the bible, choose someone who can be that kind of companion to you on life’s journey.
And if we are married, pray to God, read and study the bible together, nurture ever so carefully your heart-to-heart relationship with the one God gave you.
What Does Spiritual Leadership in Marriage Look Like?
From the first words of Genesis we clearly learn that Our God is orderly.
He created our world, ordered the hours, days, months, and seasons.
God was intentional about His design of everything.
He left us His guidebook, so we also may come to know how to order our days.
In His design, He covenanted, ordained the beautiful thing we call a family.
Genesis 2:18-25 The Message
18-20 God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” So God formed from the dirt of the ground all the animals of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the Man to see what he would name them. Whatever the Man called each living creature, that was its name. The Man named the cattle, named the birds of the air, named the wild animals; but he didn’t find a suitable companion.
21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.
23-25 The Man said,
“Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man.”
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.
He created order within marriage and assigned roles to family members.
In this devotional, we look at spiritual leadership’s role, why it is important.
What Does the Bible Say About Spiritual Leadership?
Let’s look at a couple of verses in the Bible to guide us on this topic.
Ephesians 5:22 states, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 11:3, “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and head of the women is man, and the head of the Christ is God.”
Lastly, Colossians 3:18-19 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
The Bible says the man should lead his wife.
That doesn’t mean he has more value than his wife.
Dale Partridge, Pastor and founder of Relearn church, uses the phrase, “equal value, different role.”
Men and women have equal value in God’s eyes, yet a different role to fulfill.
Marriage is a partnership.
A healthy, thriving couple seeking God values each other’s strengths and input.
A godly biblical leader seeks advice from his trusted council.
The purpose of marriage is to glorify God and have an opportunity to exhibit how Christ loves the church.
The Bible clearly states the man should be leading the house.
If we look to Jesus as our model, a true leader exhibits humility, compassion, love, forgiveness, protection, provision, gentleness, and more.
That said, no husband will lead their wife or family perfectly because we are all sinners, and they are not Jesus.
What Does Spiritual Leadership Look Like?
I believe some people have a misunderstanding of what spiritual leadership looks like.
They envision a power hungry husband bossing around his wife and kids.
This is the opposite of true spiritual leadership.
A man leading his family biblically is about being in a right relationship with the Lord.
It’s about the husband reading his Bible, humbly seeking the Lord in all he does.
Most importantly, it’s a man fearing the Lord.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Proverbs 9:10)
A godly man knows he is accountable for his wife and kids when he gets to heaven.
He is responsible for teaching them, guiding them, making wise decisions, serving them, and loving them well and like God loves us, with everything.
He is to protect them at all costs.
When you understand this correctly, it’s a massive responsibility God has put on the head of the house.
It’s a huge honor and a high and mighty task with great importance that men need to take seriously.
A man seeking the Lord through reading the Bible and prayer will be convicted and led by the Lord.
“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” (Proverbs 8:18)
A husband who is leading his marriage strives to be a good communicator.
He values his wife’s opinion, serves her, and prays for her.
He serves her not because she deserves it but rather because that’s the role God has exclusively assigned to him.
If we will look to the Bible for an example of spiritual leadership, I think of the Patriarch Abraham, who led his wife Sarah on a lifelong journey trusting in God.
God blessed their family because of Abraham’s great faith.
Men and Their Role in Spiritual Leadership
As discussed above, husbands have an instrumental role in leading their wives.
I realize that stepping up to this role is challenging, exhausting, and does not come with many short-term rewards.
This role requires steadfastness, persistence, and God’s strength and wisdom.
Regardless of the difficulty, this world desperately needs men to step into their role as the spiritual leader of their marriage and family.
A marriage and a family need leadership.
If the husband doesn’t step up, the spouse will fill the role and remain out of order until the positions are reoriented.
This happened in our own house.
Before my wife and I truly understood our roles, we were constantly vying for “head of the household” leadership in our home.
It’s a natural fleshly desire to want to take over leadership, especially as a strong-willed, independent male bachelor long used to being in charge.
Our house has run more smoothly and peacefully as my wife and I continually seek the Lord through prayer and bible study and better understand our roles.
When you stay within God’s design for marriage, things don’t always work out perfectly, but there is an unexplainable harmony, a beautiful dance that occurs.
Men who are sitting back, letting others lead their wives and families, need to take the reins.
Yes, it will definitely mean more work, assertiveness, responsibility, but it’s a job assigned to exclusively them, covenanted to them by our Heavenly Father.
This job is of utmost importance, it’s a job they’ve been created to fulfill.
Genesis 2 defines the man’s role to work and keep.
A godly man provides stability and security that is needed in his home.
He nurtures the heart and the mind of his wife and children – if every man and dad knew just how impactful their role is, our world might be a different place.
Why Is Spiritual Leadership Important in Marriage?
A ship sails aimlessly about without a captain, a classroom turns to chaos without a teacher, and a company needs a CEO to make final decisions.
A married couple and a family need a leader.
They need a guide who is seeking the Lord’s guidance in this sinful world.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.” (Psalm 32:8)
Spiritual leaders guide and direct the ship.
They look out for potential danger ahead.
They make sure everyone aboard is safe, and their needs are met.
If trouble arises (as it always does), they develop a plan to solve the problem.
They take advice from their shipmates and constantly provide encouragement.
They develop the best route to get to their destination.
They ensure the ship remains afloat, stays on course, steers it in the GOD right DIRECTION and are responsible for everyone getting safely to their destination.
Ephesians 2:7-10 The Message
7-10 Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
Sally Clarkson has a quote pertinent to this topic,
“In the absence of biblical conviction, people will go the way of culture.”
Meaning, if a couple is not actively laboring, working together to have the right relationship with the Lord, their decisions will be heavily influenced by culture.
By not deciding to lead your marriage actively, and in union, you are then, by default, tragically deciding to let others to enter in, lead your house by default.
A solid biblical leader will not take their role for granted or boast about their knowledge.
Instead, they will model the ultimate servant leader Jesus and make sure He is aboard and fully present, fully utterly in total command on the bridge the ship.
They will acknowledge their shortcomings, repent, and ask for help (Psalm 32).
Psalm 32 The Message
32 Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be—
you get a fresh start,
your slate’s wiped clean.
2 Count yourself lucky—
God holds nothing against you
and you’re holding nothing back from him.
3 When I kept it all inside,
my bones turned to powder,
my words became daylong groans.
4 The pressure never let up;
all the juices of my life dried up.
5 Then I let it all out;
I said, “I’ll come clean about my failures to God.”
Suddenly the pressure was gone—
my guilt dissolved,
my sin disappeared.
6 These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray;
when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts
we’ll be on high ground, untouched.
7 God’s my island hideaway,
keeps danger far from the shore,
throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.
8 Let me give you some good advice;
I’m looking you in the eye
and giving it to you straight:
9 “Don’t be ornery like a horse or mule
that needs bit and bridle
to stay on track.”
10 God-defiers are always in trouble;
God-affirmers find themselves loved
every time they turn around.
11 Celebrate God.
Sing together—everyone!
All you honest hearts, raise the roof!
How Can a Wife Support Her Husband in Spiritual Leadership?
How can a wife support her husband as he leads their family?
Or, if your husband is not stepping into this role, what can you do?
The Bible says in Proverbs 21:9, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Based on this verse, a wife should not, cannot nag, coerce, or argue her way to force her husband to spiritually lead them.
Only God can change hearts, but there are a few things a wife can do.
The first is prayer.
The word pray is used 313 times in the King James Bible.
Psalms 37:4 tells us, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Pray a specific Scripture for your husband’s heart to be turned to Jesus every day – I am talking about those consistent, heart-felt prayers you say for years.
For example a wife praying Isaiah 11:2-5 for her husband for over (___) years.
Take God’s words and insert your husband’s name to personalize the prayer.
“May the Spirit of the Lord rest on (name), to give him a Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, a Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord – that he will delight in the fear of the Lord.”
Wives can encourage their husbands to be in groups and build relationships with other solid Christian men, preferably an older man who has experience and wisdom with marriage and family.
Let him speak truth into your husband.
Pray your husband’s ears and heart are open to this man’s advice.
You can model healthy habits by reading your Bible, having your prayer time.
Respect goes a long way in a marriage, especially with men.
If you are frustrated with his lack of leadership, lovingly communicate your desires, but always give your utmost, uppermost, respect him regardless.
Give him time to grow and mature into this role.
The culture doesn’t teach men how to spiritually lead; if anything, the opposite. Be patient with him, and never stop praying!
A husband seeking God and truly leading his wife and children biblically is a beautiful thing.
The house is in order.
“He rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
The role of a spiritual leader is a critical one, and it’s being attacked by culture.
In today’s climate, men are backing down from the job for many good reasons, but the Christian community is paying the price.
We need husbands accepting and committed to the role God designed for them.
We need them leading their wives and children.
We need husbands fearing less in what others think of them and fearing more in the Lord.
Submission to One Another
Ephesians 5:21-33 The Message
Relationships
21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
“Why don’t you throw away those old pants?” my wife said.
“They’re stained and frayed around the cuffs. They make you look sloppy.”
I bristled at her suggestion.
It pushed my “bachelor’s contrary button,” as we say in our family.
I dug in my heels and got stubborn: “Yeah, but they’re my most comfortable pants. Who cares how they look?”
I’ve found that a lot of people will not admit to having a “contrary button.”
If we don’t like someone’s idea, even if their suggestion is reasonably, politely, and mildly expressed, rebelliousness stirs in our heart.
Submission calls for humility, but we will often choose to be stubborn rather than submit.
Again, Psalm 32:9 counsels us, “Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle.”
Why does Paul say, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”?
Surely it is because Christ, though being fully God,
“made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7).
He served his disciples by washing their feet (John 13).
And he died the death of a criminal—for us.
As the Lord Leads, If our Lord humbled himself, submitted to death on a cross, why do I feel I should be boss all the time, always in control, getting my way?
In our marriages, Let’s learn both our unity and our submissiveness from Him.
In the name of God, the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Spirit,
Let us Pray,
Marriage Prayer for Unity and Strength
Father, from the very beginning, your greatest command was for us to love You and to love each other as You first loved us. You’ve given marriage as a holy relationship that reflects our relationship with You. Show us how to follow your example and set aside our selfishness and pride and humbly serve each other. Help us both to be of one spirit and of one mind and value each other above ourselves, looking out for each other’s interests. In the midst of our busy lives, help us take time to love each other deeply from the heart, as you have loved us. May the love we have for each other be an example to the world of how You love them and gave Your life for them.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen, amen.
Loving God, Living God, Loving Hope, Living Hope, Loving Living Life His Way! "Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. And still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues." - Brother Lawrence (1605-1691), Practicing the Presence of God (1692). 